mickeyls Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 (edited) I've been dating this guy for six months.....I'm 35, he's 55. The biggest thing in our relationship is the insecurity. Close to the beginning of the relationship, he became manipulative and bullying when it came to male business clients. And it has snowballed out of control into pretty much a control issue and emotional abuse. He creates and tries to find things to make issue about. And it's always little things that he blows out of proportion. I literally feel like I can do nothing right in the relationship. At times, he withdraws affection and I have to wait for his lead to be affectionate. He pretty much stopped wining and dining me as well. And....he's often complained that I do too much. I've often tried honing down my social butterfly activities, but it's never enough. And of course, if I do one activity on FB, he labels me a liar in that respect. He's even gone so far as to do a internet background check on me. And he constantly follows my social media activity. Other than that, we do have some positive things going on.....but I'm fearing that even though we are compatible when it comes to tastes, laughter, and future prospects, I am really thinking that there is far too much going on with him for me to stay with him. I love him....but I'm quickly losing that to this deep, dark, feeling that is called intuition. This past week, he cancelled a date and told me that he would like to be "off the grid" for a while. Yes, it may be a tiny break that he needs....but I think I'm at my wit's end with it all and want to call him on this power move and say I'm done versus him having the talk with me after he's gotten his break. I want to give him space, but I also want to be respectful in telling him. I've made the decision to leave, but I want to be careful how I do it because I have no idea how he will react. Any advice on how to tell someone? I would prefer to tell him in person, but with his stubbornness, I may have to be the evil ex and tell him via social media or via text message. I don't know if I should be short and sweet or draw it all out. I don't really want to leave any room for questioning or having to explain anything, but I am welcome to do so if asked. I've also thought about waiting till the end of the week to tell him....should I wait it out or just do it now? Edited June 12, 2017 by mickeyls
springy Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 I would not put it off, tell him he can stay off your grid permanently. "I'm sorry xxx, this relationship is not going to work for me. Please consider this break permanent" If he asks you can tell him you don't like being controlled, and you don't appreciate the "breaks". Honeymoon period is over and you've seen the real deal. It won't change if you stick around. His behavior sounds absolutely dreadful and completely overshadows all the other areas of compatibility. He doesn't sound like much fun at all. What a drag.
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