avoiduingthe pain Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 I have posted just a few hours ago regarding my break up, but feel i want to write here to sort of ask what the hell happened.. so here i am chatting in a store to one of the most prettiest girls i have ever seen in my life, I have been single for three years and a little indifferent to life and finding love again (am 54 yo).. some weeks later see the same girl and we chat some more (small talk) I ask her out for a drink, she agrees, she is 44 yo she models and is in a relationship with a photographer from another town about 1 hour away... we have another date.. this time i can feel her closer.. we are just walking the dog over nice countryside...we kiss. Over coming weeks we start to form a relationship.. photographer is now ex.. we start doing stuff together, she comes to mine one sat night, we make love, we start going out together, every time i drop her off she almost cries, by time i get home she txts me to ask is everything OK, are we OK? I find she seems to have little or no confidence about her life, her job, her ability, ME, her social skills never go beyond small talk, I meet her parents, they are quiet MOTHER rules the house she is an only child. She loves modelling and although she does genuinely believe in it , I can see the online modelling/photography setup as quite a few pervs. I begin to fall in love with her.. it may be lust I dont know, our sex life is the most incredible I have ever experienced, she is a joy to look at, to smell, to taste. we do push loads of boundaries. At some point i do not know when, i start to realise just how many times she is in her phone txting,txting,txting.. every time i leave her company (go the loo etc) she picks up her phone to txt, whom I dont know!! after staying at my place I leave her for work, she is almost asleep we have a little kiss and she nods a sleepy goodbye..I walk out of my place and as i walk past the front I can glimpse way back into the bedroom... she is bolt upright in bed on her phone....I hate to say but I am starting to mistrust her... She wants me to marry her, to put a ring on her finger, she as been divorced twice, I am very hesitant, dont know why I think with me its security, I own a largish house with land, she as no ownership, no money, YES i know thats not right of me to think like that, but thats how I roll. (My previous relationship when i bought the property I insisted that my partners name be on the deeds so as to offer security and commitment to her, even my solicitor advised me against that.) One evening I phoned her to say I was near her house and was going to call in... it went to answerphone, which was very rare... I went to her house and knocked door, a figure appeared in the shadows but did not answer (her daughter) I txted her "where are you" she txted "will call later no battery" I called her instantly and she answered, she was at her ex husbands house some 6 miles away, she dont drive , he would of picked her up and taken her there, I went there and picked her up, asked for explanation in a nice way, she said they needed to talk stuff about the daughter... I accepted.. She was controlling me, I wanted to go to a football match, a one off semi final on a few days trip... she went ballistic, really lost it, I didnt go. I booked us an holiday cottage, a week by the sea.. I said why dosent she try and get one days modelling assignment (she loves to model and this was a dramatic new location) she txted me a few days later... got 2 assignments booked. i phoned and complained that I thought 1 day was enough as we were on holiday... she went ballistic, saying she turned down 2 other assignments because she wanted to be with me,,, (lucky me). Now as part of our reasonably ok relationship a name (her ex, the photographer) kept cropping up, Her txt went off and i could see it was from him, birthday cards, I started snooping on his online portfolio and could see images he had from there time had been recently posted, he added poems of love... below i could see my ladies avatar in the "likes" box... around Christmas i went to her house and the cards were all strung across the wall, one card drew my eyes, it was bigger, warmer than the others, it was from the Ex, loads of xxxss I felt queasy and said it worried me, she protested that she wasn't allowed Friends??, I protested that he is so in love with her that he cannot see her as a friend.. we split up over this... it was hell over Christmas, we were back together early January... there was lots of depression surrounding her household, Forgot to mention that she had left 2 jobs, one was in the November, she was surviving on little... I was giving her a weekly hand out to help things, our relationship wasn't very nice and we fought she suddenly got a job in a store, 2 weeks later she dumped me, 2 weeks after that I see her heading out with her ex, since then I can see clearly that they are in cahoots big time. life is ****!!
d0nnivain Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 I'm sorry you are hurting. It's better that you found out now, rather than later that she was playing you, before she got her claws in too deep. Women like her can bleed a bloke dry. Know you can trust your instincts. You sound like a nice fellow. I'm sure the right woman will come along.
Maldives Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 I'm sorry you are hurting. It's better that you found out now, rather than later that she was playing you, before she got her claws in too deep. Women like her can bleed a bloke dry. Know you can trust your instincts. You sound like a nice fellow. I'm sure the right woman will come along. I agree Donnivan she's playing u like a fiddle I wld add she's a big user as well and bat **** crazy. Big red flag her going off wen ur wanting to go watch a game. Crazy consider ureself lucky and I think wen Donnivan says bleed u dry I wld also add financially wth ur house man get rid of her quick smart u stand too much to lose.
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