flashgordon Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 I'll try to make this short and to the point. I met a fabulous gal online a couple months ago, and we'd been dating ever since (2-3 nights a week). We have a lot of mutual interests, and really seem to get along. On the days we didn't see each other, we'd be in touch somehow. But out of the blue she's decided that she wants to slow things way, way down while she sorts out her priorities, finds more time to spend with her friends, etc. She says she's not sure if she wants to keep seeing each other yet; but that we'd probably still talk and get together occasionally. So is "needing space" always a death sentence? I can see where she's coming from, and she sounded very genuine about it... but I can't help feeling that things have changed, I barely hear from her anymore. How long should I give this?
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 5, 2005 Posted August 5, 2005 So is "needing space" always a death sentence? Yes, it nearly always is. It definitely is if you don't give the needed space. It means they want to be away from you and the relationship, and decide whether or not to come back to it. If anything else better comes along, they won't be back. But out of the blue she's decided that she wants to slow things way, way down while she sorts out her priorities, finds more time to spend with her friends, etc. She says she's not sure if she wants to keep seeing each other yet; but that we'd probably still talk and get together occasionally. This is a nice of keeping you on an ice cold back burner while she looks for other guys to date.
francis Posted August 5, 2005 Posted August 5, 2005 when you want to be with someone, you will be with someone...as soon as either party starts making excuses like this, it's slowly on its way out. this is a flaky excuse to loosen the arrangement between you too... step back, give her all the space she wants, open your mind to people and things outside of her... please please dont get clingy, panic, weepy, demanding. you've got a life, live it, if she dont wanna be part of that, dont waste your time on her, move on to someone who wants the same as you
ciara12step Posted August 5, 2005 Posted August 5, 2005 exactly its just a way of her saying that shes moving on
flashgordon Posted August 5, 2005 Posted August 5, 2005 I don't think I've been too clingy, and have done a fair job of giving her space (even though she left me with the impression that she was OK with talking). Later than night I sent her a quick email, saying that it was nice to see her, that I understood and would give her time to sort things out. Four or five days later I sent her a casual note, just sort of talking about some of the things I'd been up to. She didn't reply. I was thinking of calling this weekend, it will have been almost two weeks since we last talked. I've had some people tell me it's the right thing to do, others say no. It's not that I'm dying to call her, I'm starting to accept that things are unlikely to work out at this point. I guess if I just drop it and don't eventually make the effort to talk to her about this, I'll always wonder "what if".
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