henderson14 Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 So I had a first date with a girl and told her we should go out again as we were leaving. She said sure or something of the sort. I was wondering if that means anything because would girls say yes even if they weren't interested just to be polite?
Ieris Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 Rather than guessing just set up another date with time and location to see if she is really interested. 4
BaileyB Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 She may say yes to be polite. It's hard to tell someone in person that you are not interested, so I'm sure that it happens. If I was really interested, I would always try to give the go ahead for the guy to ask again... "I have really enjoyed tonight and I'd love to see you again." But really, the only way you will no for sure she is interested is if you ask her out again.
caitlinf33 Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 I find it reassuring when a guy asks le to make concrete plans towards the end of a date, or shortly after one, as it takes the guesswork out of knowing whether he is interested. I would text her with a proposed plan/date/time and just say i'd really like to see you again. Are you busy xday? I was thinking I could take you to x place if you are free. Keep it casual. You'll be able to gauge where you stand then. Good luck! 3
d0nnivain Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 Some girls do say yes when they don't mean it because they don't want to be impolite. That doesn't mean she's one of them. Here your Q was vague. Pick up the phone & clarify what hang out sometime means. Pick a date & place. Arrange a date with specifics. 3
smackie9 Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 This is what you should have done, face to face held her hands and said "I would really like to see you again, if not I'm ok with that too.....so what do you say? Dinner at ____ on Saturday? Just text me on Friday if you will be available". Then leave it. You don't hear from her it's done, move on. 2
Author henderson14 Posted June 11, 2017 Author Posted June 11, 2017 This is what you should have done, face to face held her hands and said "I would really like to see you again, if not I'm ok with that too.....so what do you say? Dinner at ____ on Saturday? Just text me on Friday if you will be available". Then leave it. You don't hear from her it's done, move on. Hold hands!? That would have been lame and too much. I'm not proposing to her.
d0nnivain Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 You may have thought holding hands was lame. She would have most likely thought it was romantic & therefore been more open to dating you again. When you are selling something -- here selling yourself (not literally) but trying to convince somebody to go out with you again -- you have to pitch it from what the buyer wants / needs. 2
coolheadal Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 So I had a first date with a girl and told her we should go out again as we were leaving. She said sure or something of the sort. I was wondering if that means anything because would girls say yes even if they weren't interested just to be polite? Sure, not yes! Get a yes and confirm it! Don't assume nothing today.. Anything can happen and you be left looking sorry.... Stand up and say to her listen if you want to go out tell me now otherwise I am gone.. Might sound harsh but this is the only way to get a correct answer.
Coup La-La Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 Women often change their minds or show faux affection just to glide though uncomfortable situations. Call or Text 2 or 3 days after, until then you really can't know for sure
Maggie4 Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 You asked her a vague question, you got a vague answer. If you had invited her for a specific time, for a specific activity, then she can give you a concrete answer. 3
smackie9 Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 Hold hands!? That would have been lame and too much. I'm not proposing to her. So how much success have you had with them accepting a second date? Maybe if you changed your attitude you would. Women like confidence....if you have the ballz to be romantic, have solid eye contact and show strong intentions...you would have them melting in your hand. Women like that sort of stuff even tho you think it's so lame.
Author henderson14 Posted June 12, 2017 Author Posted June 12, 2017 (edited) So how much success have you had with them accepting a second date? Maybe if you changed your attitude you would. Women like confidence....if you have the ballz to be romantic, have solid eye contact and show strong intentions...you would have them melting in your hand. Women like that sort of stuff even tho you think it's so lame. You asked me a question and then answered it for me. WTF? I almost always get a second date when I ask. I can't remember the last time I haven't actually. So quite a lot of success. And not one time did I hold their hand and look into their eyes asking for a second date. It seems like this has gotten way off track and most of you aren't answering my actual question. Edited June 12, 2017 by henderson14
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 You asked me a question and then answered it for me. WTF? I almost always get a second date when I ask. I can't remember the last time I haven't actually. So quite a lot of success. And not one time did I hold their hand and look into their eyes asking for a second date. It seems like this has gotten way off track and most of you aren't answering my actual question. LOL! I actually agree with you and would find the hand holding and gazing into my eyes quite weird. I do agree you asked a vague question so got a vague answer. Text or call her and ask about a specific date/time/plan.
Ami1uwant Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 Hold hands!? That would have been lame and too much. I'm not proposing to her. On a first date if you hold hands that is a really good sign you can get a kiss snd easily bring up having a 2nd date and set it up by saying you want to get together on Wednesday?
smackie9 Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 You asked me a question and then answered it for me. WTF? I almost always get a second date when I ask. I can't remember the last time I haven't actually. So quite a lot of success. And not one time did I hold their hand and look into their eyes asking for a second date. It seems like this has gotten way off track and most of you aren't answering my actual question. If you have np then why are you asking us as to how to approach asking her for a second date? Seems you have all that in the bag anyways.
smackie9 Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 Just me....if the date went really well then why not...I've had first date kisses too.
todreaminblue Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 as some women say things to be polite surprisingly so do some guys.....give vague yeah had a good time lets do this again..a platitude.....call her or see her and ask her on a "proper" thought out date...not platitudes...clarify time place and date......make it happen..not an offhand remark....make it crystal and if she says yes you have your answer, if she says no and gives you a valid reason.... ask her is there a more suitable day for her and if she seems vague then.....move on.....deb 1
starrynight4321 Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 You asked me a question and then answered it for me. WTF? I almost always get a second date when I ask. I can't remember the last time I haven't actually. So quite a lot of success. And not one time did I hold their hand and look into their eyes asking for a second date. It seems like this has gotten way off track and most of you aren't answering my actual question. Your original question is hard to answer because I can assure you 1) There are women who will say "sure" in order to be polite since you just asked in person and it would be awkward to say no for a lot of women 2) There are women who will say "sure" and genuinely mean it. It's going to be very hard for you to figure out which is which. You'll really only know if she starts getting flaky with texts/calls after the date. That pretty much tells you she was just trying to be polite but doesn't want another date. For me personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with asking immediately at the end of the first date. If she likes you, it's going to make her really happy that you're showing you're eager and asking her out again. If you're too bothered by wondering whether they are being polite or genuine, your only real solution is to ask for the second date after you've parted ways from the 1st date. She's not going to say "sure" to a second date she doesn't want if she doesn't have the pressure of having to reject you in person. Also, I'm going to have to side with you on the hand holding thing. I like confident guys but if a guy did the whole hand holding/gazing thing after a 1st date I'd be just slightly weirded out.
RustCohle Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 Henderson the point is not that you have success getting a 2nd date. A 2nd date means nothing if you don't take her to bed. Lethal mistake to ask or tell a woman we should do this again or ask her for a 2nd date at the spot. This shows to her you are all over her and needy. You waive goodbye and leave. Then avoid contacting her on the same day. IF she contacts you and says she had fun or something similar then you have a clear indication she really likes you. Then you can tell her something of the sort yeah I had fun also we should do this together.
RustCohle Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 Just me....if the date went really well then why not...I've had first date kisses too. And how many of them ended up in you having sex with the woman quickly?
Author henderson14 Posted June 12, 2017 Author Posted June 12, 2017 If you have np then why are you asking us as to how to approach asking her for a second date? Seems you have all that in the bag anyways. Because I didn't ask how to approach her for a second date. Re read the post. We're already texting back and forth this morning, so I should be good anyways.
Author henderson14 Posted June 12, 2017 Author Posted June 12, 2017 Henderson the point is not that you have success getting a 2nd date. A 2nd date means nothing if you don't take her to bed. Lethal mistake to ask or tell a woman we should do this again or ask her for a 2nd date at the spot. This shows to her you are all over her and needy. You waive goodbye and leave. Then avoid contacting her on the same day. IF she contacts you and says she had fun or something similar then you have a clear indication she really likes you. Then you can tell her something of the sort yeah I had fun also we should do this together. There is no one approach fits all or "lethal mistake". I approach each date and communicate based on the girl, how the date went, and just gut feeling. Some girls see that as confident, while others MIGHT see it as needy. A good guy can sense which approach to take for each individual date. 1
korenna Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 that's a god sign in my book if the first date didnt go well most girls arent going to attend a second one. first impressions are pretty crucial to women
smackie9 Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 And how many of them ended up in you having sex with the woman quickly? You mean with the men lol, some yes within a few weeks....but the ones that were lukewarm/nervous or waited days later, 0. Dating is a hit or his. Some like bold contact and strong intent, while some want to take their time and have some space. You just play it by ear....do what feels right for you.
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