dumbass2 Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 SHE broke up with you! As others have said, she is being manipulative in trying to turn this on you. If you go you will get sucked back in and be back on here when you get back from the trip. I would tell her that she is not going, she is no longer a part of your life by her choice and that you will pay her back and I'd do that right away.
niji Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 Thank you all for the support. If this was the right decision to not go on the trip, then why do I feel so crappy about it? Why am I hurt and bothered by her crying and the things she said to me yesterday? Her saying that I don't care about her and me wanting to be single still messes with me. Because she's used to manipulating you, by using tears and emotions to get you back into that whirlwind. Think of all the drama you've had to put up with. Yes, I know because even though I don't know you and your situation personally, I've encountered many people who use this tactic to get their SO back - it's emotional abuse and codependency. Do not mistake it for love. People who love you will not put you through torture like this. No, you cannot go with her as a "friend". It doesn't work. It may work 20 years from now when you two both have moved on, not a few weeks after the breakup. Imagine IF you do go, what would happen? You guys will most likely just get back together, she will convince herself further, "I can do whatever BS I want to greytone, he'll just take me back anyway". And on and on it goes. Spare yourself.
Zahara Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 Thank you all for the support. If this was the right decision to not go on the trip, then why do I feel so crappy about it? Why am I hurt and bothered by her crying and the things she said to me yesterday? Her saying that I don't care about her and me wanting to be single still messes with me. She's a manipulator. She breaks up with you to manipulate a response she desires. She cries to manipulate you into giving into her. Stop falling for it. Underlined -- That's because she's pissed that her "break-up" backfired on her and she's trying to make you feel bad for it in hopes you'll cave and make it all better. It's blatant game playing. 2
PegNosePete Posted June 13, 2017 Posted June 13, 2017 Why am I hurt and bothered by her crying and the things she said to me yesterday? Because as the other posters have said, that is exactly how she wants you to feel, and she knows exactly what strings to pull to make you feel this way. Don't be guilt tripped into changing your mind. Listen to your head. It is telling you that you have made the right decision and that if you talk to her any more, you will end up wasting your life in this long-dead relationship that just makes you miserable in the long run.
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