Meejustmee Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 So the guy that I was dating for 4 years always threw this in my face and it came up in conversation with my friends last night, and although my ex and I aren't together it still struck a chord. Friend is dating a guy and he is not supportive at all about her sons baseball passion. He is a good ball player at 14 he has been recruited by 4 other high schools. And accepted with a private high school as an incoming freshman this September. He did receive financial support from school and a scholarship as well. He feels they bought him. I disagree!! Sports in my town and surrounding towns is super competitive even at this age. So, he just tells her that he won't go o any of her sons games Bc he doesn't believe in all the rigmarole of sports. Which is weird Bc he watches baseball and loves football. He does have one child and his son ( according to friend) is lazy, and doesn't play any sports, he is clumsy on his feet, hates gym class and would rather sit inside and play Xbox or whatever electronic. So my question is, is this grounds for a break up? Is friend doing an injustice to her son? Is she disrespecting her son by continuing to see this guy? And if not, how does she make him see her point of it being her sons passion to play and she herself being supportive.
d0nnivain Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 I don't have kids so my answer may not be right. But I don't think I'd break up with somebody just because they don't want to attend my kid's HS activity. The BF is not the parent. As long as he's nice to the kid & doesn't say discouraging things to him but rather simply removes himself, it doesn't sound like something worth breaking up over. FWIW, I never attended my EX's son's HS wrestling matches but I did go to the football games & the plays. I just don't like wrestling. My lack of attendance was never an issue. But there is a love me, love my kid aspect too. 1
Author Meejustmee Posted June 11, 2017 Author Posted June 11, 2017 I don't have kids so my answer may not be right. But I don't think I'd break up with somebody just because they don't want to attend my kid's HS activity. The BF is not the parent. As long as he's nice to the kid & doesn't say discouraging things to him but rather simply removes himself, it doesn't sound like something worth breaking up over. FWIW, I never attended my EX's son's HS wrestling matches but I did go to the football games & the plays. I just don't like wrestling. My lack of attendance was never an issue. But there is a love me, love my kid aspect too. Thank you for your honesty!!
basil67 Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 She can't make him see her point. But she can expect him to keep his opinions to himself and to not undermine her parenting or her son's ambitions. If he doesn't do this, he should be given the boot. And for what it's worth, a person doesn't need solid grounds to break up. They can break up for what's considered by others a dumb reason if they don't want to deal with the relationship any longer.
preraph Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 OMG, he doesn't want to waste what little amount of leisure time he has at kids' ballgames! I can't believe anyone would make a big deal out of this. Why would you expect someone else to give a crap about your little boy's sports activities? Kids are important to their parents, but no one else should be expected to pretend to give a crap about their lives' minutae.
Starswillshine Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 OMG, he doesn't want to waste what little amount of leisure time he has at kids' ballgames! I can't believe anyone would make a big deal out of this. Why would you expect someone else to give a crap about your little boy's sports activities? Kids are important to their parents, but no one else should be expected to pretend to give a crap about their lives' minutae. If someone wants a legit future with a mother, they better give a crap, imo. For me, I wouldn't be demanding that the guy be at every single sporting event but obviously he has some sort of issues with sports. As a mom, I would seriously reconsider if I can see a serious future with this man. Likely... good bye.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 If someone wants a legit future with a mother, they better give a crap, imo. For me, I wouldn't be demanding that the guy be at every single sporting event but obviously he has some sort of issues with sports. As a mom, I would seriously reconsider if I can see a serious future with this man. Likely... good bye. I agree. The kids only 14, but he sounds like a great athlete who might end up with a college scholarship, playing collegiate ball, etc. How long does this guy expect to be unsupportive? Is there some jealousy at play here since his own son is not athletic? I don't think he has to be at all, or even any really, of the games as just mom's boyfriend, but I hope if he has contact with the boy he's not rude about it and he doesn't hassle mom for spending time on her son's sports. Those would be deal breakers for me.
Redhead14 Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 (edited) So the guy that I was dating for 4 years always threw this in my face and it came up in conversation with my friends last night, and although my ex and I aren't together it still struck a chord. Friend is dating a guy and he is not supportive at all about her sons baseball passion. He is a good ball player at 14 he has been recruited by 4 other high schools. And accepted with a private high school as an incoming freshman this September. He did receive financial support from school and a scholarship as well. He feels they bought him. I disagree!! Sports in my town and surrounding towns is super competitive even at this age. So, he just tells her that he won't go o any of her sons games Bc he doesn't believe in all the rigmarole of sports. Which is weird Bc he watches baseball and loves football. He does have one child and his son ( according to friend) is lazy, and doesn't play any sports, he is clumsy on his feet, hates gym class and would rather sit inside and play Xbox or whatever electronic. So my question is, is this grounds for a break up? Is friend doing an injustice to her son? Is she disrespecting her son by continuing to see this guy? And if not, how does she make him see her point of it being her sons passion to play and she herself being supportive. He does have one child and his son ( according to friend) is lazy, and doesn't play any sports, he is clumsy on his feet, hates gym class and would rather sit inside and play Xbox or whatever electronic. -- He is a lazy parent which breeds lazy offspring . . . he doesn't believe in all the rigmarole of sports -- He believes in and enjoys sports, what he doesn't believe in is being involved in a child's life and giving him a well-rounded childhood social and emotional experience. Yes, she should break up with him. He is not father material. If she continues to see him and see him for a relationship, she is accommodating her own selfish needs and not making her son her #1 priority. Edited June 12, 2017 by Redhead14
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