Paljoey Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 purpose of this thread is to vent and get advice i broke up with my girl about 4 days ago. she had been distant for a few months. only calling me when it was our day to hangout. usually on fridays or monday and tuesday. i worked from monday thru friday sometimes saturday. as well went to school. i have a promising career. but it want always this way. we met when we were 17. i was basically her path out into the world. i had a car and sold various things for money. we both went to different local high schools and both graduated through home schooling program although not the same one. she had been molested a year before we started going out. she quickly told me that and i understood her and it didnt make me pitty her or nothing. she is (WAS) the sweetest down to earth girl ive met. we are from opposite sides of town. me from a million dollar home and her from a low income apartment. her dad went to jail till she was 12 and the mom took him back. guy is a loser that makes less then me. we were together for over 3 years and she always used to say...''joe can you believe its been 3 years" i would say yeah cool isnt thinking nothing of it.she goes to the local college my dad teaches at. and he always used to tell her she needs to hury and finish so me and her could start our future. well this may she ended up only passing one class. and i said its okay you will finish when your ready. just keep trying. her dad is very manipulative as well. ex gangster or whatever. has no life or hobbies outside of spending time with the family. my gf is a twin by the way. i always took care of her if she needed food,gas money,clothes. maintained her car buy her things her parents should of but didnt.we used to have sex everyday for years and then. she got pregnate. i suggested abortion and she agreed right away. saying she didnt want the baby yet anyway. gave her the money and she went without me because i "couldnt miss work". i was lazy for doing that and embaressed. after the abortion sex slowed way down and her problems piled up. and this when she only called or texted once a day unless we were gonna hangout. we had a fight and she told me she would leave me if i didnt work on my anger problems which i did. i became submissive. not confronting her on her bad attitudes and letting her get away with her not giving back to the relationship when i nutured her and paid for her way all the time. so this distance goes on for about two months. on monday one of my friends said he had been seeing her with another guy but want sure it was her on snapchat. i told him thanks and told her i know what shes been doing and im coming to her house to talk. she said please dont. my dad is in a bad mood already. dont start drama. I GO THERE AND SHES NOT THERE. i asked where she was and her family whats up. i said i know shes cheating. and they acted nothing of it saying to talk to her and they dont know where she is. so i leave in disgust. then text her i know what she did we have to end it. i dont care whether its over the phone or in person. she calls me four times that night and i ignore.next morning im at work and she calls, i answer. i ask her how she wants to breakup. she says over the fone i guess. i say why didnt u just breakup with me. and this bitch was becuase she didnt want to feel bad for me. that fone call i broke off in disgust and told her we will talk later and end it proper since she doesnt wan to see me claiming she will only want me. because she broke up with me before and i got her back two years ago. i call her on wednesday and try to get her to admit it. i know the guys name. she still wont admit it. acts as if she thinks its funny. i tell her to stay safe. i dont want her to get something slipped in her drink somewhere and get raped . im sad because i cant care for her anymore. she tells me to treat my next gf right and blah blah. she starts crying. also saying we arent compatible. that talk felt good. i told her to call me if she needs anything and any boy she meets only wants sex. i told her that how i was in the beginning with her and i grew to love her and be her friend. that talk had me feeling good for the night. next day i felt like **** again. i went to the doctor to get a std test becuase im assuming she had sex with this guy. she says she didnt and that guy didnt mean **** to her. but i cant trust her and she was totally okay with breaking up. we always had sex without condoms. she calls me yesterday asking how im feeling all happy and what im doing. i say cant talk im driving call me later and hangup. she calls me again an hour later and i ignore. i want to call her but she basically left me for someone else. i think she called to see if im hurting. which i am but i told her im fine. didnt tell her i miss her or love her or begg or plead ever. isnt good. she called to feel good about herself and im not gonna give her that. i want her bad but shes going to the dark side it hurts and im bored as hell. she was like my drug for years. please give me some insight. by the way my sadness is effecting my job. and appetite. i have no appetite. she is stubborn and it took a while to get her back last time. i know getting back with her would not be good at all for me. i couldnt trust her. i do want us to be friends and maybe have sex in the future i know it sounds weird. i want a new gf and her. she caught me fb during our relationship talking to girls. i was very apologetic and said its a self of steem thing and she let it go a couple times but months ago i found out she had a snapchat and started friending girls. becuase i know what happens on snapchat. she never admiting to have one i just saw her on her sisters.i let it go because she was loyal as hell for years. sorry for the punctuation read slow thanks. any advice or insight wanted
d0nnivain Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 Even though you went to different schools, because you have been together since you were 17 she was in essence your high school sweetheart. You have been through a lot together including an unwanted pregnancy & an abortion, which you handled very badly, btw. You should have taken the day off from work to go with her. Just handing her the money was crass. Your relationship has now run it's course. Sadly the ending was messy & handled badly all the way around but it's still over. Let it be.
Author Paljoey Posted June 11, 2017 Author Posted June 11, 2017 I know this is the reason our relationship went south. I still love her madly. Would it do any good to apologize for not supporting her though the abortion?. This guy she's seeing apparently I heard is no good. Works at Taco Bell and has been to jail in the past. Is there anything I can do? Or just purposely let this slip away? And not talk to her?
Author Paljoey Posted June 11, 2017 Author Posted June 11, 2017 I want to tell her how I feel but I can't trust her. We both have been severely depressed before and I have underlining suicidal tendencies. I have been driving like a maniac with no seatbelt. Telling myself idgaf if I live or die.
d0nnivain Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 If there is already another guy there is not anything you can do. Anything bad you say about him looks like sour grapes. If you are feeling suicidal or depressed, tell your parents to get you into therapy.
Author Paljoey Posted June 11, 2017 Author Posted June 11, 2017 She hasn't even made it official with him probably. She has self of steem issues. That I couldn't remedy by tell her I didn't mind pimples because I love her. She told me this guy doesn't mean **** to her. I asked her if she wanted to be with someone else or alone. She said alone. That I'm the only guy she's ever been with. The std test could prove that wrong. Can I still be friends with her and us both have separate relationships? . She was so comforatble with me but always made herself look nice when seeing me. I don't see him on her instagram or facebook.. She said she is gonna stay home a lot now without being with me. I still haven't talked to her since Friday. i turn 21 in September she's still 19. When I used to asked her what happened to our sex she said that in the beginning it's puppy love then things change. She always talked about how we were best friends and lovers that's what made us so special. We had things in common like fishing, cars, love for animals. Cooking. We loved being outdoors. I appreciate you commenting even if it's blunt
Author Paljoey Posted June 11, 2017 Author Posted June 11, 2017 she always used to tell me how she only likes white guys like myself if a classic looking face. But this dude is Mexican. She said it's gonna be hard for her since we been together for so long. Why fight feelings. She told me she was sad because she thought we were gonna be together forever.
d0nnivain Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 I am a blunt person & it comes out more so in text. Sorry about that. It doesn't mean I don't care. Sadly you can't be just friends with somebody after a break up. It doesn't work that way. It sounds unfathomable that she won't be there, but that's the reality. If you have told her that you want to get back together & you both agree to work on the things that drove you apart, perhaps reconciliation is possible but it has to be a joint decision. I don't think she wants that. Deep down you also know this wasn't working. You just don't know what a world without her feels like & that scares you. You are clinging to the familiar. You turn 21 shortly. A whole new world is opening up to you. With you 21 & her 19 that is also going to cause more strain on your relationship. As hard as is it, let go. Grieve for the loss of your first love but do go on. You have your whole life ahead of you. In time the acute pain will subside & you will be left with happy memories of her.
Author Paljoey Posted June 11, 2017 Author Posted June 11, 2017 I have feelings of Boredom. I feel betrayed. How should i approach her about seeing if she wants to work on things without being a punk. When she caught me hanging around girls a couple times she approached me so sweetly with food in person and told me she knew and I would admit it and feel so sorry because other girls didn't mean **** to me. I been wanting to have serious convos with her about our relatiship but I found out about her new friend before I could. That's another thing is she has no friends that are girls. It was only me and her sister that she was around. I have friends that I barely call friends but she was my best friend.
Author Paljoey Posted June 11, 2017 Author Posted June 11, 2017 I feel like if i contact her she wins and it won't help me but I have to try. I can't end it this dry.
Author Paljoey Posted June 15, 2017 Author Posted June 15, 2017 Update, I tested positive for Clyamidia. So who knows how many she's been with. Idk whether talking to her to tell her would be good for me. My dad says don't tell her **** that. Idk what to do
Poutrew Posted June 15, 2017 Posted June 15, 2017 Update, I tested positive for Clyamidia. So who knows how many she's been with. Idk whether talking to her to tell her would be good for me. My dad says don't tell her **** that. Idk what to do Listen to dad. He's a wise man. Look, your ex is an operator, or, more precisely, a spider sitting in the center of her web, with each of her 8 legs controlling a man as if he were a puppet. Now, carrying the analogy further, if she had 4 vaginas between those 8 legs, you probably wouldn't have caught anything, but all 8 of you guys were using the same one... hence the STD. Just be grateful that Chlamydia was all she gave you . It could have been oh, so much worse... Leave the bi*ch to her own devices and she will eventually learn that there are consequences to leading a bad life...
Author Paljoey Posted June 15, 2017 Author Posted June 15, 2017 Hopefully that's all I got. I haven't gotten my blood test back yet I'm doing better. got an A on my blueprint test. Gonna buy a new mountain bike soon and exercise. I know as soon as I stop worrying and wanting a gf.. a new one will come right to me.. a fantastic one. I just don't want other guys taking advantage of her. I want the best for her. I just don't want to be involved with her anymore. It was always forced seemed like. Always trying to entertain her. Please her with treats or a outing. Last year we were together, we did very had very little pleasant idle time together.
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