johnjacobjingle Posted June 10, 2017 Posted June 10, 2017 So as quick as I can make this; Girlfriend and I were together for about a year. She broke up with me earlier this week, and obviously, I am crushed. She has a lot going on mentally (I noticed too), and wants to take time to do her own thing to figure herself out, and to learn to love herself (Says she has never been okay being single). I backed out on moving in with her because I was worried she wasn't okay. She messages me a couple days later telling me she doesn't know why she's doing this, but she strongly feels like it needs to happen. She says she still feels like we are meant to be together forever, and repeatedly tells me "you're literally my favorite person". The thing is she doesn't think she can go through this process while being what I deserve. I can't help but hold on because I love her to death. Any suggestions on how to cope or what to do from here?
d0nnivain Posted June 10, 2017 Posted June 10, 2017 She may be depressed Part of that means she wants to push you away. Part of that means she has no idea what she wants because she isn't thinking straight. You as her BF or EX BF can't fix this. She needs professional help to deal with her issues. You also shouldn't put your life on hold for her. 3
Sweetfish Posted June 10, 2017 Posted June 10, 2017 So as quick as I can make this; Girlfriend and I were together for about a year. She broke up with me earlier this week, and obviously, I am crushed. She has a lot going on mentally (I noticed too), and wants to take time to do her own thing to figure herself out, and to learn to love herself (Says she has never been okay being single). I backed out on moving in with her because I was worried she wasn't okay. She messages me a couple days later telling me she doesn't know why she's doing this, but she strongly feels like it needs to happen. She says she still feels like we are meant to be together forever, and repeatedly tells me "you're literally my favorite person". The thing is she doesn't think she can go through this process while being what I deserve. I can't help but hold on because I love her to death. Any suggestions on how to cope or what to do from here? Dont be surprised that this self discovery is with another man. Don't do this to your self. You say she have mental issues or personal conflicts.. do not subject your life to this if you can date someone who is mentally strong.. 2
smackie9 Posted June 10, 2017 Posted June 10, 2017 I think their is someone else in her orbit that has caught her attention. I'm not saying she is seeing this person, but this person is talking to her or is involved in her circle or friends or coworkers possibly. When there is emotional attraction, it confuses and pulls them away.....it causes self doubt about how she actually feels about you if she feels strongly for someone else. This is what she is trying to figure out. 1
Author johnjacobjingle Posted June 10, 2017 Author Posted June 10, 2017 She may be depressed Part of that means she wants to push you away. Part of that means she has no idea what she wants because she isn't thinking straight. You as her BF or EX BF can't fix this. She needs professional help to deal with her issues. You also shouldn't put your life on hold for her. You're correct. 100%. We're both in recovery, I've been clean for 3 years and she has ten months. I was her go to for support for everything, but it became overwhelming. I was the one that wanted to take a break, and then she broke it off the next day. Her best friend says to give her a week, she gets like this, and you guys have a crazy connection. She's currently getting help, but I'm having such a hard time letting go.
Sweetfish Posted June 10, 2017 Posted June 10, 2017 You're correct. 100%. We're both in recovery, I've been clean for 3 years and she has ten months. I was her go to for support for everything, but it became overwhelming. I was the one that wanted to take a break, and then she broke it off the next day. Her best friend says to give her a week, she gets like this, and you guys have a crazy connection. She's currently getting help, but I'm having such a hard time letting go. I see this with women with low self esteem all the time. You buildup their self esteem and once the fix is gone.. they look for or stumble on a greater supply to continue the fix. 2
preraph Posted June 10, 2017 Posted June 10, 2017 It's usually men who will tell a woman something along the lines of "you're too good for me" or "I don't deserve you" or "why do you like me" or "I'll only hurt you." And I'll tell you the same thing I tell them, and that is believe them and let them go. No one would tell you that if they were capable of having a healthy relationship with you. And the problem with staying once they say that is now you have been warned and stayed anyway, and this absolves them of any responsibility for what is to come, which is whatever way in which they are going to let you down or crush you.
Author johnjacobjingle Posted June 10, 2017 Author Posted June 10, 2017 It's usually men who will tell a woman something along the lines of "you're too good for me" or "I don't deserve you" or "why do you like me" or "I'll only hurt you." And I'll tell you the same thing I tell them, and that is believe them and let them go. No one would tell you that if they were capable of having a healthy relationship with you. And the problem with staying once they say that is now you have been warned and stayed anyway, and this absolves them of any responsibility for what is to come, which is whatever way in which they are going to let you down or crush you. Interesting insight. Thank you.
Ronnys93 Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 It's usually men who will tell a woman something along the lines of "you're too good for me" or "I don't deserve you" or "why do you like me" or "I'll only hurt you." And I'll tell you the same thing I tell them, and that is believe them and let them go. No one would tell you that if they were capable of having a healthy relationship with you. And the problem with staying once they say that is now you have been warned and stayed anyway, and this absolves them of any responsibility for what is to come, which is whatever way in which they are going to let you down or crush you. I agree, this is usually a sign of emotional unavailability. My ex used to tell me this multiple times before we got together, and I didn't believe him. Once it happened I thought about ALL The times he said those very same words. For me it was mostly "I don't deserve you" or "I'll screw this up somehow". Boy I should of stopped him dead in his tracks right there. 1
Recommended Posts