XoAnGeL98OX Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 Hey everyone!!!... Feeling Kinda down today it's been bout 2 weeks Since no contact with that ex. Somedays i feel great knowing i'm doing the right thing other's i'm simply miserable like today.... Here's a recap on what happend http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t67750/ Please read soo u can understand what's going on..... I've written on this same situation couple of times already.... I've been on and off with same guy for 6 years.. he lives 7 hours away... We tried doing LDR.... but after about a month of him promising me the world and that he was finally ready to commit, he freaks out and tells me we just don't click anymore.... That he couldn't be himself around me cause he constanly had to think bout what he was going to say because he said i was too insecure and to sensitive...Mind u the only reason i had become that way was because of his constant change of mind on what he wanted with us... One day he loved me the next wasnt ready to be with me. after the last breakup i wrote him my goodbye email telling him how i felt and how he hurt me.. His response "I'M NOT WASTING MY PRECIOUS MIN ON READING THIS... BYE"...he called me that night i didn't answer i was soo hurt that he wouldn't even give a good and resonable explaination on wtf had happend???... I had just been there serveral days before and thought we had a great weekend. A couple days ago i finally thru away this box i had that was filled with anv cards letters everything u could think of i always told myself the day i could throw this is out what the day i was really ready to let him go... So i did... I'm not feeling much better..... I'm seeing this guy i had a relationship with "Bob"... I wrote bout him in my past post.... He seems to always be there for me when everything with "The first" is going wrong.... He treats me sooo good! does everything for me... But i just don't feel for him the way he does for me.... I'm still stuck on the jerk that treats me like **** and doesnt want to commit.... Bob tells me i'm perfect and "the First" seems to find everything wrong with me.... I dont kno what i'm doing.... I feel bad for bob....I hate being alone....I feel like i don't have bob i would go running back to the jerk..... somtimes i feel like i'm using him for some kind of emtional support.. it's scary the other night i was thinking what if "the first" feels for me what i feel for bob.. I keep goin back to him tellin him i'm sorry.. then weeks later i ditch him again cause it's not enough... i'm soo confused guys don't kno what i'm doing and i can't stop thinking bout the ex. HELP!!!!!!!!
lostinmymind Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 I think you know what you need to do... This new guys seems nice, let him help you build your confidence (he knows that is what he is doing so don't think you are using him, just make sure he knows you aren't ready to get serious with him right now), but you need to do some things on your own to accomplish that as well. Keep going with the NC with the ex, he doesn't know what he wants, he will only continue to hurt you until he finds that out. Things will never change if you don't leave him alone and let him change himself.
Author XoAnGeL98OX Posted August 4, 2005 Author Posted August 4, 2005 Thanks LMM for ur reply.... This Guy isn't really new he is also an ex of mine... But like i said He loves and treats me great... We have been hanging out alot lately ( My way of trying to keep my mind of the other ex)... He takes it as were "An item" again.... I dont want to hurt him because i kno how it feels to love someone dearly and them not give u what u want in return... The Jerk is going to be in town tom .... i think thats why ive been so upset today...... I guess what kills me the most is that im used to him chasing me after we break things off... Instead i get a mean reply saying he doesn't have time to read it..... it's hard cause i kno what's goin on in his life My best friend's going out with his old roommate... n my other really good friend is with his new roommate. 6 years!!!.. feeling like i'm never going to get over this.....
sanne Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 I think what your doing to this "new" guy is quite cruel, and I do believe that you are completely using him. He believes your in some kind of new relationship, while your just using him because it's convenient and you don't want to deal with the pain. He's your temporary bandaid, but you are realizing he is not presenting a solution to your problems. If you really want to get over your ex and stop the hurting, your going to have to do it on your own. Don't get into another relationship until you are healed and actually want to be in a relationship. I suggest reading No Foolin's NC thread, some good advice there.
smile95 Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 He treats me sooo good! does everything for me... But i just don't feel for him the way he does for me.... I'm still stuck on the jerk that treats me like **** and doesnt want to commit.... I feel the same. I am kinda seeing someone and all I do is go home and cry that I do not feel the same connection I felt with my ex. I kinda slowed things down. it is not fair to my "bob". He is great to me and so sweet, but he is not my ex. I think it is too soon for me to date. Some say yes it is and others say no. My heart says no. I am so scared that I will never click with anyone as much as my ex. It sucks. My ex really was selfish and did not treat me that great, but I know he loved me. I know that I am doing the right thing by NC also (10 days so far) but it still hurts like hell. I hope with time all of this fades and I hope your hurt does also....what ahpp after he called you and you never answered? Did he call again?
Author XoAnGeL98OX Posted August 5, 2005 Author Posted August 5, 2005 I think what your doing to this "new" guy is quite cruel, and I do believe that you are completely using him UR ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!! But i can't help it.. Just like i said before he's like my emtional soppurt BANDAID.... I mean don't get me wrong I do care for him even love him in some kind of way cause i was with him for almost year.... but it's not "IT" i keep hoping i'll wake up one day forget bout the jerk and reallly truly fall for "BoB".. anyway i'm taking it one at a time... told him i wasn't ready to jump back into being in a relationship and that i wanted to take things slow..... .what ahpp after he called you and you never answered? Did he call again? Nope he never called again.... Haven't heard from him since.It kills me that he hasn't tried especially knowing that he is going to be down this weekend.... But even if he did i wouldn't answer... it's just that fact that he doesnt care.... that fact that he has the upper hand in this situation and that he knows how i'm feeling now.... I hate feeling like i have no sense of control... At least i kno that if he does call he's thinking bout me missing me or w/e and me not picking up the phone is my way of way saying **** u!!!! I don't need u..... thanks beth for ur advice it's comforting to kno that somone out there understands what im feeling...
smile95 Posted August 5, 2005 Posted August 5, 2005 I know none of us are in the exact same postion, but similar I feel. Since you had such a long realtionship, I know you must really hurt. Even if you put on a happy face, I know that you must be sad and mad and angry. I am and mine was only 3 yrs. I almost feel like I never knew him? We both just need to know that we have done nothing wrong and it is better we know now that they are worthless, tan a marriage and 2 kids later.....Keep me posted on your progress. For me, it has been 10 days of NC and one day I am so great and others I am a mess. Are you up and down too? The part that hurts me most is that I do love him and he could give a crap about me. hang in there!
Author XoAnGeL98OX Posted August 5, 2005 Author Posted August 5, 2005 He is here ... Getting a hair cut as i write this!!!!...... I hate knowing everything bout his damn life still... It's like i want to kno but when i kno i wish i had never asked. So i was talking to my best friend turns out the day he broke up with me OUT OF NOWHERE, He went to orlando meet up with some girls and hooked up.. I kno this cause he called my best friends b/f and told him... She was sitting next to him and heard the whole thing. He mentioned to him what happend with us.. He said w/e man remember there is two sides to a story.... I DIDN"T DO ANYTHING!!! but simply cry cause i was ****ed up and confused on what had happened because It came out of nowhere. The night before i left i noticed he was acting wierd.... we went to dinner he wouldn't eat... Seemed very anxoius... I remeber his friend had asked him if he wanted to do some cocaine.... He had said NOOOOO like the guy was crazy for even asking him.... But as the night went by i could tell he was on SOMETHING. So when we got home from dinner i asked him, he flipped on me saying i was crazy for even asking him and he would never do that. so i was talking to my best friend she mentioned it to her man.... turns out he has been doing it every weekend with the guy that had asked him when i was there that weekend. HE LIED TO ME!!! it seems to me the more time passes i realize i didn't kno this guy at all.. It was like he was stanger standing in front of me for the past six years!!! do u think because of his drug use it had something to do with his constant change of mind???? His mood swings??? It just just confuses me that just weeks before he was telling everyone he loved me wanted to commit and could not lose me.... Not just to me but to every1!!!....I simply can't understand how he could be so heartless and fake. Sorry guys dont want to seem crazy... Just venting
Recommended Posts