KoKo1 Posted June 10, 2017 Posted June 10, 2017 A couple days ago my girlfriend of 2 years and i were chilling watching a Netflix movie and there was this threesome scene i casually said that i don't know if i could be with someone that had one. My GF got all quiet and said i almost had a mmf one 5 years ago. After not knowing what to say her i was curious to how she ended up there. GF explained that she was seeing this guy and after a night out went back his apartment to continue the party with friends. She told me that this one friend was really hot and after dancing in the apartment asked if he could kiss her. She told him i'm with your friend and if he doesn't mind then we can do it. The guy she was seeing didn't mind so they made out and i guess his friend later joined in. Anyway they were later "playing" and all ended up in the shower together but didn't have sex as she was on her period and a little drunk. I believe her as she has always been honest with me and said something was stopping her from doing it. The next day after she said she felt ashamed and terrible and it happened in a time in her life when her esteem was low due to an abusive ex. I guess part of me is glad she didn't go the whole way as i don't think i could look at her the same after that. I know the past is the past but I'm a little shocked and and disgusted but should I have a right to be. I haven't said anything as i am still processing it. Don't know what to do or how to feel about it?? I really have no idea. I would appreciate your thoughts.
Poutrew Posted June 10, 2017 Posted June 10, 2017 Well, if she is not holding anything back, then what she did hardly counts as a 3-way. My opinion is it would be worse if she was in a MFF threesome, and it actually went somewhere, for the simple reason that for 3 way sex to work out, someone in the group really needs to be bisexual. Has your girlfriend messed around with girls at all? IMO, this is something you need to know because it has the potential to affect your life... otherwise, just enjoy being with her, but keep your eyes open. People will eventually show you who they really are, and when they do, you need to take it seriously.
preraph Posted June 10, 2017 Posted June 10, 2017 You need to be more adult here and accept her explanation for why she had some boundary problems back then and just be happy for her that her self-esteem has improved. Don't blame her for that. You know how guys are and how low-self-esteem women are about going along with them because they think they're supposed to or whatever. Her explanation was perfectly fine. Two dudes got a drunk girl with low self-esteem into the shower and she yet managed somehow to NOT have sex with them.
avvril3000 Posted June 10, 2017 Posted June 10, 2017 i don't understand why you are concerned about anything before you and her. its not like she did this while you guys were together. having a three-some, is just not something that is wrong, or something that you should feel is wrong if she didnt even know you at the time. What exactly are your hang ups about it? 2
mikeylo Posted June 10, 2017 Posted June 10, 2017 i don't understand why you are concerned about anything before you and her. its not like she did this while you guys were together. having a three-some, is just not something that is wrong, or something that you should feel is wrong if she didnt even know you at the time. What exactly are your hang ups about it? Like OP said, he is having trouble looking at her the same way. I guess it's normal human reaction. He will either get over it or won't. Neither of them is to blame.
d0nnivain Posted June 10, 2017 Posted June 10, 2017 If you can't put her past in a box labeled "past" and move forward with her, break up with her. You can't sit there & judge her. That's not fair because it's not like you can go back in time & change this. She did something. She doesn't do that anymore. She's with you now. Accept that & enjoy what you have or walk away. 1
OatsAndHall Posted June 10, 2017 Posted June 10, 2017 A "Chasing Amy" moment.. I can understand how this would bother you initially as I would have a hard time hearing about a SO's past. But, I am also very conservative when it comes to sex and I am kind of narrow minded in some ways. A roommate of mine had a MMF three-way once and our buddies thought it was awesome while it bothered me. With that being said, take a step back and think about this rationally. Her past is her past and she was open and honest about it. She hasn't asked you to partake in in anything you'd be uncomfortable with so don't mess up a good relationship over it.
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