Hank_moody Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 Going to try to sum this up as quick as possible. Been off and on with this woman for 10 years we never get to the relationship stage some might think that's weird. We met at 19 and shared a bond immediately that can't seem to never break however I never chose to be with her because I cared for her and I wasn't ready to be what she needed. I finally did and it was great for a while but petty issues made us split She leaves which crushes me and begins dating this guy complete opposite of me and it hurts she shows him off to the world. They been together about 13 months. She eventually hits me up telling me the truth about how the relationship looks perfect and it's not he controls her he has no friends he manipulates her he selfish has temper tantrums she hasn't been to church in a year and it looks like he all about her to the outside world but it's false. The sex is terrible she has no arrousol around him even thought her box was broken. What he does do it pay for dates trips gifts and presents her at all family functions etc to me sounds like a trophy. I can't lie she enjoys those things that's what drew her in I was the opposite bad family and out of work back then. She also hasn't told her friends so everyone in the dark and defends him. She was also forced to move in with him lease up end of June . Honestly those are all the signs of a toxic relationship she says he's a good guy but not really it's like she blinded because he does nice things. We begin an affair of course it's intense and passionate I'm taking her out finally showing what she means to me she explaining how much she loves me and regrets leaving and so mad she got in this relationship but again I come on too strong in a sense I want her to end it move out etc and here where I went wrong because I'm adding pressure and fighting where as he at home moping and being Prince Charming again because all she told him was she was going to move out. She didn't end it or have the courage was going to wait until she moved out. I get it his family is connected to her she been living a life with him even if it wasn't a happy one but he still does nice things it's not that easy. Truth is she admits while being with him she lost her self she lost her voice so honestly I called her a coward and we had a blowout she actually got caught cheating someone put her on blast his family her family everyone who thought **** was perfect found out and now she saying she loves him and she did it out of fear he was too good to be true And ends it with me . I go off and say some hurtful things I may not be able to come back from but honestly I just feel she in denial and getting caught she now running back because she a coward and I'm the 10 year guy in her life with the bad past it's easier to try to fix that bs relationship that the world thought was perfect. i didn't go into detail but we really do have this crazy bond and love for one another but she hates how I crowd and try to fix things in my way what she has to realize is putting me in that situation made me argue I knew everything and just wanted her to leave I couldn't handle it. She used those fights as some bs we will never get it together. To me this is a woman in denial and lacking courage or maybe I'm the crazy one
misspalmy Posted June 10, 2017 Posted June 10, 2017 I once dated a guy that was having affair with a mw. I told him you need to leave her of you really want to find someone as its a turn off.
Author Hank_moody Posted June 10, 2017 Author Posted June 10, 2017 She not married lol so not really sure how that bit of info even helps with my story. Just kind of want thoughts is she in denial or I'm just crazy and can't let go
live2ndin Posted June 16, 2017 Posted June 16, 2017 Hi there, thanks for sharing your story. If you don't mind, I was wondering, if you took a step back and looked at this situation as objectively as you could, what would you see and how would you explain these relationships in one sentence? Sometimes we get stuck with the details and overwhelmed with the particulars and the whole picture becomes hard for us to understand. I hope for a better today for you.
Author Hank_moody Posted June 23, 2017 Author Posted June 23, 2017 Still haven't spoke being in the dark is rough but end of the day she made her choice I suppose. If she wants to run back and claim she now in love after months of crying what can I do. 15 months she checked my social media everyday, never fully gave her self to him had an affair and been lying to her friends about her perfect relationship. He has some hold over her maybe it is love smh
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