kevinjinha Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 It's been about 5 months since our break up, and I can honestly say It's been getting a lot better for me. However, I now suffer with severe depression and anxiety. I blocked my ex out of everything after finding out she is now publicly in a relationship with somebody else. There's this event that is happening from July 1-4. It's a convention, and I know for sure I will see my ex of 3 years with her new boyfriend there. I just want to ask you guys, how do I handle not freaking out? I'm afraid I will regress and all this progress will disappear. Don't tell me to avoid seeing her, because its 100% I will see her. The event is in about a month, how do I prepare myself for this? I want to go to the event in peace and have fun with my friends without the fear that my day will be ruined if I run into my ex. Thanks. 1
mercy Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 I want to go to the event in peace and have fun with my friends without the fear that my day will be ruined if I run into my ex. Thanks. Then you repeat that to yourself every day. The choice is entirely yours to make. Yes, I'm sure it will be painful to see her, acknowledge your feelings, then choose peace and fun with your friends. 1
Marc878 Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 You can get through this. IMO I would not acknowledge her in anyway. I doubt she will approach you but if she does I'd just say hello and move on. Do not engage her. And for gods sake if she tries to introduce you to her BF just say "sorry but I've gotta go" and move away. Make it a point to look through her as if she's just someone you used to know. Think about it and plan wisely. It would be good if you had a wingman or woman who could interrupt if she approaches and can steer you away for some reason. 1
act00 Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 You have to have the mindset that you just don't care...you have to talk yourself into this and prepare yourself for it. How big is this convention? Certainly you can manage polite avoidance. If you find yourself face-to-face, say hello, even to the new boyfriend, shake hands and all the pleasantries, how are you doing, and then excuse yourself because you see someone you would like to talk to, "nice seeing you again," and go find a friend. It's helpful if a friend can be your "buffer" and just just always have a friend with you. Create a bubble around yourself, enjoy the reason you are at the convention, enjoy your friends, and do your best to always be where she is not. This is a life skill, not just an ex-girlfriend skill. It will serve you well to learn how to pleasantly avoid the unpleasant and make nice when you have no other choices. 1
preraph Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 Be sure and bring a friend with you who knows the situation and will keep monopolizing you so as not to leave a gap where you'd standing around feeling awkward. Try to just avoid her totally. If she comes up, say "Hi" and then make an excuse and walk away if she lingers. 1
Author kevinjinha Posted June 9, 2017 Author Posted June 9, 2017 My advice here is gonna seem a bit different, but hang with me. If I were you, I would bring a sexy female friend with me. Nothing quite like a young, blonde, in shape, pretty girl to make other women self conscious. If you have such a friend, be honest with her and let her know your situation. Tell her that you really want to go to this convention, but your ex and her new man will be there, and you still haven't gotten over that breakup. If she is a good friend, she will go with you as support. While you are there, pretend your ex and her new man do not exist. Don't talk to them, don't make eye contact, and don't even glance in their direction. Just focus on having a good time. Oh, and if your pretty friend helps you out here, you owe her one. Pay her way, buy her dinner, get her flowers, something. If you can't pull this off, you need to sit this convention out. In your state, seeing your ex and her guy will just make you feel worse. I've already considered doing this and it's already happening my man. I am just afraid I'd still feel like **** even with my hot friend with me. Thanks a lot though! Glad to feel that my option wasn't strange. 2
mercy Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 (edited) Nothing says you're done like a hot blond on your arm. Personally I love it. Edited June 9, 2017 by mercy not telling 2
mightycpa Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 Practice dismissing her with a wave of the hand.... imagine her approaching and give her the strong, silent and unmistakable body language that says "don't even think about coming near me." Your hand gesture has to be strong and dismissive, accompanied by a look on your face that means business. Not hateful, not compassionate, not really emotional in any way. Just "not interested." It's hard to find the right look, but you can, and it will pay off in spades. 1
Recommended Posts