Dealing with a custody battle

[SilverCup]

So I was dating this girl for about 6-7 months and all was going well. We knew she was going to have a custody hearing during the summer but didn't know the exact date.

 

After about 6 months, she started acting very distant and sometimes flat out ignoring me. It was also easy for her to do this because we live 2 hours apart and normally only saw each other on weekends.

If I asked to go up on a weekend, she would just say she needed time alone because she was tired and stressed from work.

 

I knew at this point there was more she wasn't telling me but I didn't push too much to know exactly what it was.

 

Fast forward a bit and I find out she received her court date for her custody hearing so I'm thinking that's probably what's bugging her.

I try to give her some space but at the same time, I didn't want to be completely ignored so I'd send a message every 3-4 days just checking up on her but would usually just get ignored. Being ignored would frustrate me so when she eventually replied(possibly a day or two later after I sent 3-4 texts), I would already be mad and our conversation would just end up in a fight.

After about a month of this, I got fed up and broke up with her. I had also given her plenty of warnings saying we needed to talk about the issues we were having but she just kept refusing to talk about it.

 

I immediately regretted my decision because I did it out of anger from a specific situation and not because the relationship as a whole wasn't working.

 

So now it's a month later and I'm still regretting my decision however I know she also needs time to herself for her custody hearing which is still 3 weeks away so I don't want to contact her to try and patch things up yet.

 

My friends are saying I need to move on and forget about her however I can't help but think that it's not the real her that was ignoring me like that and it was just the stress of the custody hearing.

 

So I guess what I'd like to know is, how much does a situation like that affect someone? Is it understandable that she's not acting like herself and am I correct in thinking she'll return to her normal self once it's done or do you think this is actually the real her and I'm holding on to someone that doesn't exist?

 

FYI, she's moving to the same city I'm in for school in September so it would no longer be long distance at that point. The original plan was actually for her to move in with me but I guess that's not going to happen.

Edited June 9, 2017 by SilverCup

[d0nnivain]

Your friends are right. Move on

 

 

If you really can't do that, wait until September when you have confirmation that she has moved closer to you & reach out under the guise of welcoming her to the neighborhood.

 

 

If you are still in school, wouldn't it be easier to date an unencumbered coed rather than getting involved with a single mom who already has all this drama?

[SilverCup]

Your friends are right. Move on

 

 

If you really can't do that, wait until September when you have confirmation that she has moved closer to you & reach out under the guise of welcoming her to the neighborhood.

 

 

If you are still in school, wouldn't it be easier to date an unencumbered coed rather than getting involved with a single mom who already has all this drama?

 

I'm not in school. I'm 34 and she's 35. She's going back to culinary school to get her red seal. At this age and in my location, there's not much of a selection so finding somebody without a kid is rare enough let alone one with no drama. I can live with some drama, just not the amount she's bringing in the picture now.

[d0nnivain]

Fair enough. I'd still wait until she moves then welcome her to the neighborhood.