RyanO1991 Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 About 5 months ago, is starting dating someone and we've been in quite a serious relationship. She's had a tough time - eating disorder, PCOS, HR screwing up her pay - but inve been there for her throughout and made sure I was always there for her. I wonder if I'm putting too much in. We had planned a mini break together, but she told me that work had offered her shifts during that week and she'd taken them. No biggie, I thought. I'll just rearrange. A week later, we had plans for a day and evening together. After helping her sort out her problem with HR, I came back from putting my computer away and she told me she had said yes to a BBQ with her mum and dad in an hour's time. Great! But it would have been nice to be asked. Now she's told me she's planned a holiday with her friend. I'm glad she's going to have a break with her friend - it will do her good - but she's said that she'll put aside a few days for me the week before and a few days with her mum and dad. We had talked about going on holiday over the summer, but it's as if that never happened. Am I right to think that she's taking me for granted here? I don't mind these things, but it's like she knows I won't mind and just goes ahead.
Gaeta Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 Why do you consider this a serious relationship? It sounds like you are at the bottom of her priority list.
basil67 Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 I wouldn't use the term "taking you for granted". Instead, I would say "you're not a high priority for her" 1
smackie9 Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 This is all the thanks you get for being a Shining Knight. Please stop trying to get a relationship by rescuing someone. People like her will emotionally suck you dry. Yes it's possible she uses people at her disposal.....that would mean she is a narcissist. In her eyes she isn't taking you for granted because you offered to help. If you want or expect something in return then you shouldn't be in a relationship because that isn't how it works. I agree you are not her first priority....she is.
anduina Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 Try something. Arrange something with her and then last minute cancel. If she complains, then she's a hypocrite and not girlfriend material but if she's cool with it, she might simply have a different way to handle life.
rushed Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 Let me see if I got this straight. You planned a mini vacation with her, but she got offered works shifts and took those instead. (I can totally understand her on this, especially if one needs money.) You planned a day and evening with her, but she then said yes to a BBQ at her parents. Did she ask you to go with her or did she go without you? Did you have set plans for that day/evening already? She planned a vacation with her friend. You said you guys talked about a vacation during the summer. Did you have dates already set? Does her vacation with her friend interfere with a potential vacation for the two of you?
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