chumly Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 this is a very general question that I would like to get answer by mainly men please, thanks.. if you met a lady for the first time from a dating site but you were meeting as friends for now and you both agreed on meeting as friends and she brought a gorgeous female friend with her ...would having that beautiful friend along make her look better to you as a friend or worse? in other words would you have more of an interest in her as a friend after seeing that she had a gorgeous and nice friend or less? tks in advance for honesty:)
GemmaUK Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 He's on a dating site so is looking for dating. If e finds said friend attractive then his feelings over that will most likely override any thoughts of starting up a platonic friendship with you. A platonic friendship with you is time he could be spending dating someone. 2
Author chumly Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 but the attractive female would also need to be interested in the man as well and of course in this case she was not. However, she is absolutely gorgeous so wouldnt the fact that she has such a beautiful and nice friend make her seem more valuable in his eyes in a sense? just curious? tks.
Author chumly Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 but wouldnt you maybe want to hang out with her more to get to know her hot friend maybe? at least if u hung out with her there is a chance you can get to see and become friends with the hot friend and who knows what can happen with you and the hot friend after that?? i would think this would make the female look better then having no friends or an unattractive female friend. again, keep in mind that you are meeting this original girl as a friend only for now. tks.
PegNosePete Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 It's really not a very general question, it's quite specific one! Especially since you keep adding more and more details in each post. I think you'd be better off asking a specific question if you want a specific answer. But anyway... if you met a lady for the first time from a dating site but you were meeting as friends for now Well for a start meeting as friends makes no sense. I have never met this person before so how can we be friends? I would agree to meet someone to see how we get on, and that is all, I would not put any label on it (friends or otherwise). If she asked to meet "as friends" then I would probably bail; I have plenty of friends already and I am using OLD to find a relationship, not new friends. If I wanted new friends I would go to meetup dot com. Why are you using an OLD site to make friends? and she brought a gorgeous female friend with her When she told me she was going to bring a friend I would probably ask if she's trying to set me up with her friend. Assuming you answer "no", I would say I want to meet her and only her to see how we get along, and that having a friend present would interfere with that process. If she didn't tell me that she was bringing a friend and just turned up with one, I would probably not stay very long. I would think that she is either incapable of adulting properly or too insecure or socially awkward to meet new people on her own. ...would having that beautiful friend along make her look better to you as a friend or worse? in other words would you have more of an interest in her as a friend after seeing that she had a gorgeous and nice friend or less? tks in advance for honesty:) ... ??? The attractiveness of my friend's friends has absolutely no bearing on my friendship with them. You're really doing a whole lot of mental gymnastics here. OK assuming all of the above, which is a totally unrealistic situation for me! What I would probably do is, if I get on with the friend, take her number and ask her on a date. You have made it clear that you are only interested in being friends so there's no problem with me dating your friend right? If you're looking to use OLD to find a relationship then I think you need to re-think your entire approach here. Keep it simple. Just meet people (no labels), if you get on then go on a date, if not then move onto the next.
Author chumly Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 Not really, not for me. I think it is rather rude to want to hang out with one girl just so you can hit on her hotter friend. but how is it rude if you are only friends with the original one though?? i can see your point if you were supposed to be dating the original one but if you are only friends with her that does not really seem that rude to me at all. :confused:
PegNosePete Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 but how is it rude if you are only friends with the original one though?? How are you friends? You've never even met.
Author chumly Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 How are you friends? You've never even met. do you really need to meet someone to be there friend?? I dont
Author chumly Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 I would consider it rude, even if we are only "friends." If I happen to be hanging out with a female friend of mine, and she introduces me to a girl, that is different. But to think that the value of my first friend went up just because she has a hotter friend? I can't imagine even thinking about my friends that way. My friends are my friends, I don't care if they have hot women I can date. I have a rule about my female friends. We may not be dating, but when I hang out with them, I always treat it like a date. I do not try to hit on other women, especially not their friends. For me, it is just about respecting the lady I am with, even if she is just a friend. If a situation came about where a female friend of mine introduced me to someone, and her and I became interested in one another, I would only date the new girl if my friend was cool with it, and yes, I would ask her about it if it came to that. Again, just out of respect for my friend. oh okay...well, that is nice of you to be that way in that case. :bunny: thanks for the response:) 1
Author chumly Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 I am still interested in others thoughts on this?? Thanks:D
PegNosePete Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 do you really need to meet someone to be there friend?? I dont Well if you're friends why are you worried about whether he's more interested in you as a friend due to the fact that you have a hot friend? If he's your friend already then surely it doesn't matter whether you've got a hot friend or not? I think you're confusing "friend" with "casual acquaintance". You're twisting yourself into enormous knots here with completely irrelevant tracks of thought and some very strange logic. 5
elaine567 Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 You have already had phone sex with this guy and if you have now decided to be "just friends" then that is a backward step. I know you want to emphasise the "just friends" but i also noted the "for now", so I guess you do not really want to be "just friends" at all... If you show up with a beautiful friend then as he is on a dating site looking for dates, he is going to be sizing her up as a potential date, else why is she there? Are you trying to self sabotage or is this a test for him? Wave the beautiful friend under his nose and see if he takes the bait... I guess it will end up being a rather awkward meeting all round. I am not sure why you would think your value to him will go up, as all he needs to do is get her contact details and ask her out if that is his intention, he doesn't NEED you as a middle man. You are all adults here. I think having beautiful people in a group can raise the perceived "value" of all its members but when there are only two people involved then I guess it invites comparison and as you are the "plainer" one, then it will likely devalue you more than had you showed up alone. Of course beauty in in the eye of the beholder and if she is not his "type", then it doesn't matter how beautiful or nice YOU or anyone else thinks she may be. They may in fact hate each other on sight... who knows????
Author chumly Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 still interested in other thoughts on this..thanks
GemmaUK Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 This female friend of yours OP - is she the rent-a-friend woman whom you wanted to hire to meet the phone sex polygamist guy with? 5
d0nnivain Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 this is a very general question that I would like to get answer by mainly men please, thanks.. if you met a lady for the first time from a dating site but you were meeting as friends for now and you both agreed on meeting as friends and she brought a gorgeous female friend with her ...would having that beautiful friend along make her look better to you as a friend or worse? in other words would you have more of an interest in her as a friend after seeing that she had a gorgeous and nice friend or less? tks in advance for honesty:) I'm a woman. Your Q has an erroneous premise. From OLD you don't meet up "as friends first." That is a misuse of the word friend. A date is a planned meeting to get to know somebody. That is the purpose of dating to find out if you are compatible & want a relationship. A friend is somebody for whom you have no romantic attraction & never will. You can't be friends hoping it will become a relationship. It doesn't work that way unless you know each other organically -- went to school together or travelled in the same social circle for a while. But from OLD it's a non-starter. Immature high school girls travel in packs & bring their BFFs on dates with them. Grown women do not. I do not know a self respecting man who would allow this. No matter how hot the 2nd woman was, any guy worth his salt would realize the 1st woman was an immature twit & not bother with her. What's the point of hanging out with 2 beautiful women neither of whom want to date the guy? Even if the guy finds the friend more attractive, if he asks her out he fails the shyt test because he's proven himself to be a cad by trying to get in between friends. Don't get me started on how disloyal the friend would be to date the guy. The woman is a fool to introduce a 1st date to her beautiful friend. It the friend is better looking she looks worse by comparison. All in all your entire scenario screams dysfunction & immaturity all the way around. 3
GunslingerRoland Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 This thread just makes me so glad I'm married and not in the dating world. I guess I don't see the appeal of being surrounded by gorgeous women who don't want to date me if I was single. Friendship is fine, but that has nothing to do with looks. 3
Kamille Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 You're complicating dating way too much OP. In dating, the rule is simple: two people meet. They chat. They decide if they want to see each other again. And that's it. Defining the first meet as "friendship first" and bringing along a hot friend? That is all unnecessarily complicating something that is already ripe for misunderstandings. 7
PegNosePete Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 This female friend of yours OP - is she the rent-a-friend woman whom you wanted to hire to meet the phone sex polygamist guy with? Wow, talk about OP omitting pertinent details!! 7
Chilli Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 (edited) l think l'm confused now haha. but on the original question , honestly, bullsh@t aside, most guys would be quite happy to know as many girls as he could with gorgeous friends Edited June 8, 2017 by Chilli 1
JuneL Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 I think I first came across the following phrase from this forum: SSDD. Go figure... 1
Author chumly Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 l think l'm confused now haha. but on the original question , honestly, bullsh@t aside, most guys would be quite happy to know as many girls as he could with gorgeous friends THANKYOU!!! for being one of the ONLY ones to truly answer this question without bringing up other threads of mine into the loop!!! THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU!!
Author chumly Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 This female friend of yours OP - is she the rent-a-friend woman whom you wanted to hire to meet the phone sex polygamist guy with? that does not really matter does it?? and yes, by the way..it was and it was one of the best first meets i ever had with someone..not that this has anything to do with my question though:rolleyes:
S_A Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 but the attractive female would also need to be interested in the man as well and of course in this case she was not. However, she is absolutely gorgeous so wouldnt the fact that she has such a beautiful and nice friend make her seem more valuable in his eyes in a sense? just curious? tks. A woman might work that way, but men do not. Women's lives tend to center around "measuring sticks", which is why they always compare. Men do not process things using measuring sticks (figuratively, of course).
Author chumly Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 A woman might work that way, but men do not. Women's lives tend to center around "measuring sticks", which is why they always compare. Men do not process things using measuring sticks (figuratively, of course). interesting..can you elaborate on what you mean?? and are you a man or woman responding to this?? if you dont mind my asking..thanks:)
Author chumly Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 l think l'm confused now haha. but on the original question , honestly, bullsh@t aside, most guys would be quite happy to know as many girls as he could with gorgeous friends by the way..since you are one of the FEW that actually responded to my question in a non judgemental way without bringing up a bunch of BS from other threads of mine ..do you mind telling me if you are a male or female? thanks:)
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