Confused1235 Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 Me and my bf broke up after 4 years together. We were very much in love and happy with each other. We were both pretty dependent on each other and were constantly together. I now realize how unhealthy this was. We broke up and I begged initially but stopped. In our rs I was always the fixer and he would always go silent. So I decided to immediately go NC after break up. Week later he wants to meet up to talk. I go thinking it was a good thing and he just basically said he just wanted to be friends. I asked for a second chance at first but then told him it was okay and we both need to grow up. We saw each other at a couple different events within the following 3 weeks. Everything was ok we talked and decided to remain friends. Our friends were very awkward around us and didn't know how to act which caused drama. He calls me and says how dumb they are being and how he wants to keep the friendship because we have so much history. I agree and say then break up was mutual. I somewhat agree but still hoped for reconciliation down the line. Next day one of his friends told me that he was bad mouthing our relationship and trying to look cool infront of his guy friends acting like he didn't care about me. Found out and we saw each other that day and we talked about it. Let it go. Two days later he calls me upset and says he wants nothing to do with me. He can't be my friend? And he doesn't think we are getting back together? I agreed b/c I was upset. Then he started to get even more negative. His friend is the one who caused drama not me. Was not looking to hear about anything. He now goes out and parties like crazy and acts like I never existed. I'm so confused. Since then it's been 3 weeks NC. Help! I want him back.
Knix Posted June 19, 2017 Posted June 19, 2017 As hard as it may seem, keep on going with no contact. It sounds like he wanted to talk to you the first time just to make sure he could still have you. Even if you haven't told him that you want him back, he knows he has the upper hand in this situation. If I were you I would spend time with other friends that aren't connected to him and focus on yourself. Don't worry about what reckless behavior he's doing or what he's saying about you. I know it's really hard, there's a book that helped me get through my first breakup a while ago. "It's called a breakup because it's broken". Really great advice and stories from other people. With the way your ex is acting I think you should really think about whether or not you should want someone like that back. My first boyfriend and I were inseparable for 3 years, but he also texted other girls behind my back. When we broke up I was heartbroken, but because he was cheating he moved on immediately and got into a new relationship a week later. I didn't get over it for a year, I always wanted his attention and wanted him back. Once I got over it and started enjoying my life he reached out to my sister and then he and I had lunch, he had been in multiple relationships, cheated on those girls as well, and it was really clear to me that it was a good thing we ended. Even that day, giving him a hug for the first time in years made me tear up, I missed him a lot-- but the relationship was toxic. He and I actually don't talk now-- will always love him, but some things need to stay in the past. I hope you have that revelation. This won't suddenly become a healthy relationship... try that book it helps 1
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