bitterwriter Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 Hi, I'm new here. Sorry I haven't posted to comment on others' problems but jump straight into my own. I have been seeing a guy for a month. We have slept together a few times and he has brought me to meet his best friend and his younger sister. He doesn't have either parents anymore. Last week, we had a formal work event and I thought after we were done, he would ask me to be exclusive (Maybe I was carried away by the romantic atmosphere). But he didn't. Probably because we went clubbing to celebrate my new job afterwards. But even when we went out two days later, he didn't bring up the subject. So recently, a guy I've known from a distance asked me out. To be exact, he wanted to join me cycling, and then we had coffee. Then two days later we had dinner. And he has asked me out again this weekend; I said yes. Yesterday, the first guy, probably noticing I have been a little distant, asked if I am seeing other people. I admitted. His face sort of changed, but perhaps realising he has no right to stop me since we aren't exclusive, accepted it. The problem is, I'm actually falling for the first guy, but I don't want to suggest being exclusive first. Meanwhile, the second guy is adorable and I'm also quite attracted to him. Can somebody please help shed some light on my problem? Thank you in advance...
Kamille Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 Time will tell. First, time will tell how the first guy will react to knowing you're dating other people. That said, if you like him the best, you can let him know that. Except: You're not sure you like him the best, right? So, here again, time will tell. You need time to get to know him and the other guy. (Provided the first guy continues to date you). Multidating is complicated. Not everyone is comfortable with it. It could be that the first guy isn't. That said, you did the right thing by telling him.
Author bitterwriter Posted June 9, 2017 Author Posted June 9, 2017 Thanks for the answer. True, I'm not yet sure. I'm so confused. So stressed over this. But is it too early to expect exclusivity from someone you've been dating for a month? It has been 12 dates now to be exact.
mightycpa Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 Hi, I'm new here. Sorry I haven't posted to comment on others' problems but jump straight into my own. I have been seeing a guy for a month. We have slept together a few times and he has brought me to meet his best friend and his younger sister. He doesn't have either parents anymore. Last week, we had a formal work event and I thought after we were done, he would ask me to be exclusive (Maybe I was carried away by the romantic atmosphere). But he didn't. Probably because we went clubbing to celebrate my new job afterwards. But even when we went out two days later, he didn't bring up the subject. So recently, a guy I've known from a distance asked me out. To be exact, he wanted to join me cycling, and then we had coffee. Then two days later we had dinner. And he has asked me out again this weekend; I said yes. Yesterday, the first guy, probably noticing I have been a little distant, asked if I am seeing other people. I admitted. His face sort of changed, but perhaps realising he has no right to stop me since we aren't exclusive, accepted it. The problem is, I'm actually falling for the first guy, but I don't want to suggest being exclusive first. Meanwhile, the second guy is adorable and I'm also quite attracted to him. Can somebody please help shed some light on my problem? Thank you in advance...Dude, and I call you that because you need to think like a dude for a minute, you don't have a problem. You've got a situation that a lot of women would kill for. The great thing about dating more than one person is that they each slow down the growth of affections for another person. So keep dating each of them. If guy A likes you enough, he'll ask you to stop seeing the other guy soon enough. If not, then either he's not interested, or not willing to compete for you. Same goes for guy B. And if you get lucky enough to find a guy C, don't think for a minute you can't handle three of them.
mightycpa Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 Thanks for the answer. True, I'm not yet sure. I'm so confused. So stressed over this. But is it too early to expect exclusivity from someone you've been dating for a month? It has been 12 dates now to be exact.Yes, too early, but not too early to hang out more often. I always waited like three months minimum.
Purepony Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 12 dates and you still think it's too soon ? I don't know but does it really take 59 dates to know ?
stillafool Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 I would hate to see the responses if this were a guy dating more than one girl. He would more than likely be called a Player. I personally don't see anything wrong with dating more than one person until you meet the one you want to be exclusive with. OP, you were honest with guy #1 about dating the other guy but maybe you should have told him that you are actually more interested in him. I hope for you that he doesn't start dating another girl also because he now knows you are multi dating.
Author bitterwriter Posted June 15, 2017 Author Posted June 15, 2017 Uh-oh.. I feel like I'm in trouble. Recently guy#1 did ask when I am going to choose. That means I should choose fast, right? I know I'm starting to be greedy and I could lose both of them.
Recommended Posts