Grey12 Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 We'd been thought for 10+ years had problems. Mainly me taking her for granted and being unappreciative. She broke up with me a last year but we coulndnt sell the house and neither of us could afford to move out. A year later we were getting on much better. Then suddenly she said she was going on a date. Had a few emotional talks where I said I wanted to get back with her but she wouldn't give me a straight answer. Except that she wanted to "see where it went with her date". I said we should sell the house she was genuinely upset saying I was her best friend and didn't want to lose me. Now I'm depressed and in pain. I really want her back. I want the time to show her I can change (she always said actions speak louder than words). But she's going on more dates with someone and it's tearing me apart. I know we should move out so I can deal with it. But I'm really struggling as I don't want to give up if there is any chance for us.
Maldives Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 Don't settle for less or that standard. Even though u may hav been wrong u dont fix a relationship by dishing out pain on u. I know it's hard and I'm in the same boat but begging only pushes her further away. It might be too far gone. If u dont wanna feel any pain go NC for real. I remember reading another gentleman's thread on here who had been matried for 22 yrs everyone on here was scared to give him advice about going NC. Two yrs later he comes back on to update and advises us all that all the chasing and begging and trying to work it out was a waste of time and to be honest that's been m tg experience wth this as well. Even if u were wrong realise sometimes it's too far gone and u can't do much about it accept try and heal and learn and forget. That's wen they come back wen u forget like my ex wife but the trick is to not make it so easy for them
d0nnivain Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 During the year things were better were you more appreciative or did you revert back to she's stuck because of the house? I have a feeling you blew your 2nd chance. You can always sell the house, It's just a matter of how much money you will lose on the deal but you certainly can't stay if she's dating.
Author Grey12 Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 I'm sorry your going through a similar situation Goodguy05. Your thoughts mirror my own, I don't blame her but I'm still devastated and hurt by the way she's done it. d0nnivain. I believe I had gotten better, we we're spending more time together, doing more things but I could have done more. I'm not concerned about losing money on the house but until it's gone neither of us can afford to rent anywhere else. I'm trying hard not to go down the begging route, I realize that it's not going to get her back and will only push her away and lead us both to more suffering. It's a fight against my feelings. I think deep down I know that I've ruined it and that going NC is for the best I'm just struggling to come to terms with it. I'm worried that she still wants to be friends and I'll crack at the first opportunity to see her. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 You don't get the luxury of NC until you no longer live together & that house is sold. You have to remain in contact to conclude your business.
Author Grey12 Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 (edited) Sorry I wasn't clear, my thoughts are all jumbled. I know that NC is not an option for now I was thinking about the future and the friends thing. I'm not sure how I'm going to get though until then while she's dating and I still see her on a regular basis. Edited June 8, 2017 by Grey12 Added info
Maldives Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 Sorry I wasn't clear, my thoughts are all jumbled. I know that NC is not an option for now I was thinking about the future and the friends thing. I'm not sure how I'm going to get though until then while she's dating and I still see her on a regular basis. I can kinda relate my ex works wth me and I was forced to watch her and her new office romance blossom. The last 6 mths hav been hell but I survived and things hav turned around her bf had left the company resigned actually last week and went overseas to live. Things can change don't lose money or make any rash decisions re ur house hang in there
spiderowl Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 If she's insisting on dating someone else, then is there any point in you hanging on in the hope it won't work out for her? She is choosing to spend her time with someone else. However you look at it, it is a huge blow. She is not showing any intention of remaining with you. I think you might as well sell up, whether she wants to or not. It is not up to her any more, she has chosen to date someone else.
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