tomtheman1234 Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 I am 41 years old and time for me to settle down. I am board of my own company now and most of my friends over the last 10 years have settle down got girlfriends or wife's and and children. I am finding it hard to date in the UK. I have had a few girlfriends over the years. last year I had a thai girlfriend and then an English girlfriend. Now I have a Filipina girlfriend who lives in Manila. I met her in March for 3 weeks then went home back to the UK. I then came back to visit her for a month and going back to the uk on Friday. I really really love her she is smart funny kind sweet caring very beautiful and so cool. She has 2 boys a 14 year old and a 16 year old. She works in a bank. I am very lucky as I rent out my home I have in the south east of England and live off the rent money in Cornwall. So I do not need to work but I do odd jobs. If I lived out in Philippines or Phuket I could live much better off off my rent money and come back to the UK to live or live in my apartment in Spain that my dad and I own in the rainy season. I hate the uk winter and live the warm climate. If she did not have kids we would move back to Cornwall for the summer and a bit of the autumn then move out to Naiyang in Phuket which is a plan I had before I met my girlfriend. But now if I want to be with her I have to move out to Manila. I am not a great fan of city living but do not want to give up on her just yet. Sometimes I think I should stick with it but other times I think I should come back later in the year to the Philippines and look for a Filipina girl who has no kids and happy to live in Naiyang by the beach with me and then Spain or Uk in rainy season. As find dating hard not sure what to do for the best as the last few days she has had mood swings as she has a stressful job and cos I going home on Friday and cos I was not so up for a long night of passion last night only short time passion. Any info and advice would be great..
MsJayne Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 So you're quite well off financially......be careful. Without mentioning race/religion/ethnicity I can say I know too many men who have been taken to the cleaners by women from a particular part of the world. Let's say, for example, I know a couple of guys who are happily married to these women, but I know of plenty more who have had their pockets emptied by them. They are excessively fond of money, very savvy when it comes to getting it from lonely, gullible men, and ruthless when the relationship ends. They start off being all sweetness and light and then turn into the Harridan From Hell once their foot is in the door. They expect their partner to help support their families back in their home country, and this is an ongoing obligation. Men often think they're getting the perfect package, the attractive woman who knows her place, and then get a huge shock when they realise that she's a lot smarter than she let on and she has big ideas of living a grand life...... and you're paying for it. Aside from all that, whatever reason she has given you for not being able to leave the Philipines - again, be careful...it's easier for them to rip you off if you're on their turf. Best of luck : ) 6
Author tomtheman1234 Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 Well I have tried to give her money for her taxi home at night and she won't take it. But every now and then she has let me buy her a meal out. I tried to buy her some shoes as I know all girls like shoes and she said no thanks. She has never asked me for money like all Thai girls I have known have always asked for money.so I think I have found a good girl.
brittneyfoster Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 LOL @ his last response. That's the game. I am NOT Filipino, but I grew up around the women and their children for my entire life. Cunning is an understatement in describing MANY Pinays. Here is my two cents: 1. If you truly like this woman and want to move forward, then it would only make sense for you to move to be with her. It seems quite unfair for you to discount her based on the fact that she has children when you knew that she had children when you met her. If it's too much, then just move on; however, that seems to be messed up to say "I hate XYZ and buy the product and then want to return it for those same reasons"....could be just me. 2. Pinay Insight: You will have a docile, beautiful woman who eventually place the responsibility of taking care of her children, her family, and her extended family at your expense. She won't do it immediately. You won't even realize when it's being done. I'm Black and Hispanic myself, so I know how the women are from my homeland, and Filipino women are far more skilled than we are. I am not saying she doesn't love you or want to genuinely want to be with you, but I am saying that those are not the only driving factors in wanting to be with you. 5
Els Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 OP, I think it's clear that the two of you want different things in life. You want a free life of travel and romance. She has two children that she (rightly so) prioritizes. It's probably best to go your separate ways. Aside from all that, whatever reason she has given you for not being able to leave the Philipines - again, be careful...it's easier for them to rip you off if you're on their turf. Best of luck : ) I'm noticing quite a lot of xenophobia here. Would you say the same thing if the OP's girlfriend was, say, an American woman who didn't want to relocate to the UK because she didn't want to uproot her children who were still going to school in America? Why is that a valid reason for a Caucasian woman to not want to move, but not if the woman is of any other race?
MsJayne Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 OP, I'm noticing quite a lot of xenophobia here. Would you say the same thing if the OP's girlfriend was, say, an American woman who didn't want to relocate to the UK because she didn't want to uproot her children who were still going to school in America? Why is that a valid reason for a Caucasian woman to not want to move, but not if the woman is of any other race? I take offence at your comment, Elswyth. I am not a racist just because I see, (frequently), a specific pattern of behaviour from a particular culture. Also, I didn't say she didn't have a valid reason for wanting to remain in her home country, however, it's common knowledge in the Southern Hemisphere that women from some SE Asian countries very often want to get out of their own country because of poverty, crime, politics, and generally a much harder life and tougher culture. Whilst there are plenty of Australians who choose to live there, the majority bring their Asian wives back to Australia and it's seen as a step up in the world for the woman, (especially if she comes from a village background). Also, it's not uncommon for the women to leave their children with relatives long term if they want to move overseas but don't want to disrupt the children's lives. They often do this when they work overseas where they are contracted as house staff or in other menial, poorly paid jobs, and they then send money back home so their children can go to school, etc. Like I said, I'm not a racist. My partner is Russian, one of my best friends is Chinese, another of my closest friends is married to a Philipino woman, (and, incidentally they're in the throes of divorce, oddly enough she decided she wanted to separate right after she gained permanent residency in Australia). I'm an immigrant myself....... So, no I wouldn't say the same thing if the OP was speaking about an American woman, because I don't hear frequent stories about American women ripping off men who come from similar Westernised, (wealthy), countries. Perhaps my view would be perceived as politically incorrect, but I don't care for PC rubbish, I prefer the truth. : )
CptInsano Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 I think the key here are not so much the cultural and demographic differences in itself, but rather certain stereotypes that exist and are often fed by services that try to arrange marriages between western men and Asian women. A friend of mine met his Thai wife in college, and both had very realistic expectations regarding the other person, their backgrounds and each other's countries. No problem. I'm sure that a lot of men are looking for Asian women with expectations that cannot be met, and vice versa. As far as I know the Philippines have the highest female to male ratio of executives in the world. And there is a reason for that. But I have the feeling that many men do not exactly have a highly educated businesswoman in mind when they are looking for women overseas, nor do they take into account that family takes a very different priority in different parts of the world.
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