Am I being unreasonable? MM won't contest divorce, but still vacations with wife?

[TiredOfWaiting]

Hi All

 

I need a reality check and to be told if I am being childish or unreasonable.

 

MM has received Divorce summons, and has said he would not defend the action.

 

He now has the opportunity to have a 4x4 vehicle, fully kitted with rooftop tents etc for the weekend, free petrol, the works.

 

So he said he is thinking of taking his family away for the weekend.

Now - taking the kids, I think that is a very nice idea.

But the wife too?

Huh??????????????

 

I am VERY VERY confused, hurt, astounded that he would take her with him. It is very strange to me. I have been through a divorce, and we handled it VERY differently (separate beds, separate lives etc).

 

They STILL sleep in the same bed, and lead very much a normal family life. He has even said he will not move out until he is ready to.

 

I am ready to go n/c until he can prove he is divorced and moved out.

Seems like the logical thing to do.

[starreyes]

Originally posted by TiredOfWaiting

 

They STILL sleep in the same bed, and lead very much a normal family life. He has even said he will not move out until he is ready to.

 

 

Is this guy for real?? Doesn't sound like a guy ready for divorce or ready to move on with you. In fact, he sounds very selfish.

 

You are not being childish or unreasonable IF you are upfront about how you feel, tell him, and maintain the NC. Then stay true to your feelings and don't give in to any of his BS.

 

Good luck to you and stay strong!

[SoftDrink]

it sounds like maybe he and his wife are trying to work things out.

 

i can't think of another reason they would both choose to go on vacation with each other, right after she served his divorce papers.

 

 

did you, by any chance, happen to see these papers?

[smile95]

Be careful....my best friends MM said he was on the way to divorce and still lived with the wife. He calimed they slept in the same bed and nothing happ or he would sleep on the couch. She believed him. Whattayaknow....she becomes pregnant. Wonder how that happened. If you want to ever be mor than the OW, I would do NC until he moves out or at least seperates and moves out.

[lynnspies1]

He will be tied to his wife forever because of the kids and he is showing you what your future will be like. I just met a woman who went on a cruise this spring with her ex-husband, their kids and his girlfriend. They have been divorced for 10 years but because of the children they go on separate vacations with them and she leaves her current husband and new set of kids at home while she is out with her ex-husband.

 

The whole thing seems like a mess to me. Your MM is making it very clear that you will have to deal with this behavior in the future.

 

Lynn