Jobber22 Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 I have been friends with a co worker over a year. We have never flirted but a few months ago during a break up I told her my feelings and that I had s crush on her. She is a single mother of 2 and 9 years older than me. She played it off at first but once she saw I was being serious she said ok we can try it if you want but she has not seen anyone or been with anyone in 4 years. Finally got my own place and she asked me over for dinner, it was weird because of us knowing each other for so long but managed to cuddle on the couch and hold each other. Have been over to her home twice but no kiss yet. She text me and said she wished she had and I told her next date I was 100% kissing her. She said she was comfortable with me and hadn't felt that way in awhile and she like it. Issue I am having is she's hot and cold with texting me. I saw her at work, she looks into my room every time she walks down the hall etc. but last 3 days I have to initiate conversation via text. Tonight I sent a random text and she text me she was watching a movie with her son so I sent another random text and she said lol. Nothing to keep convo going. Not sure what to do from here. I do feel she likes me as I have already met her kids which she told me was a big deal for her and even asked for my help at work and sent xoxo after her message. Any advice?
Author Jobber22 Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 Bump, any advice is appreciated. Not sure what I'm missing
d0nnivain Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 My advice: don't worry about the texting. She is dating you. She is looking forward to the kissing. There was been cuddling. She pops by your office. In all of that the texting frequency is meaningless. Not everyone is glued to their phone like a teenaged girl.
Author Jobber22 Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 My advice: don't worry about the texting. She is dating you. She is looking forward to the kissing. There was been cuddling. She pops by your office. In all of that the texting frequency is meaningless. Not everyone is glued to their phone like a teenaged girl. Thank you for replying, I think I feel this way due to have always dating younger girls. This is different for me as I know they are glued to their phones
live2ndin Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 I have been friends with a co worker over a year. We have never flirted but a few months ago during a break up I told her my feelings and that I had s crush on her. She is a single mother of 2 and 9 years older than me. She played it off at first but once she saw I was being serious she said ok we can try it if you want but she has not seen anyone or been with anyone in 4 years. Finally got my own place and she asked me over for dinner, it was weird because of us knowing each other for so long but managed to cuddle on the couch and hold each other. Have been over to her home twice but no kiss yet. She text me and said she wished she had and I told her next date I was 100% kissing her. She said she was comfortable with me and hadn't felt that way in awhile and she like it. Issue I am having is she's hot and cold with texting me. I saw her at work, she looks into my room every time she walks down the hall etc. but last 3 days I have to initiate conversation via text. Tonight I sent a random text and she text me she was watching a movie with her son so I sent another random text and she said lol. Nothing to keep convo going. Not sure what to do from here. I do feel she likes me as I have already met her kids which she told me was a big deal for her and even asked for my help at work and sent xoxo after her message. Any advice? Hi, @Jobber22. It sounds to me like you have a chance to get this one right from the beginning. I can understand why you are both being a little timid and that is not at all a bad thing. Often our current culture demands everything to be sped up, and forces us to rush into things. I would encourage you to take a step back, and slow things down and I really hope that you are able to cultivate a special and meaningful relationship here. Do you have an older married man that you can look to as a mentor?
OatsAndHall Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 To be honest, I think that work place romances can be a bad idea.. It sounds like this could go south on you if you feel she's being "hot and cold'. I asked a co-worker out last fall after she dropped hints at hanging out Nothing materialized out of it and it didn't bother me. I haven't treated her any differently and have been open and friendly. But, there have been issues that have stemmed from that ONE conversation where I asked her out. I thought that they were done and over with but things have gotten strange again.. A few of us were getting together to go fishing last weekend and we invited her. She opted not to join us but we had a blast. Several of us sent her a pic of a large fish I caught with the caption "you missed out!". She has been outright witch at work since then. She won't make eye contact with me, she doesn't talk to me and is just being a flake. I walked into her office to ask her a work related question yesterday afternoon and there were other co-workers chatting with her. The conversation completely stopped (uncomfortable dead silence) when I came in and she was extremely abrupt with me. To be honest, I'm pretty irked by the situation as I have found that she has a bad habit of running her mouth about people. I can't even imagine what would have happened if her and I had actually gone out a few times and things had gone badly.
smackie9 Posted June 9, 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 Welcome to dating a single mom. Her time with her kids is first priority...in fact her kids are her first priority ALWAYS. Texting you is the last thing she is thinking about when getting the kids to bed, making their lunches, cooking cleaning, helping with home work, watching a movie taking them to the park, etc. It's a 24/7 responsibility. You will need to get used to taking a back seat in this relationship. 1
Author Jobber22 Posted June 10, 2017 Author Posted June 10, 2017 Thanks for the reply guys, she text me about our date and asked when I was wanting to go out and told me she was excited about it.
smackie9 Posted June 10, 2017 Posted June 10, 2017 That's the thing....she is the one that is going to pretty much call the shots...when she has time to. It's all about adjustment. You need to adjust your expectations and dating habits to suit dating her.
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