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I broke up with him. Did I do the right thing? Need words of Comfort...

eri123

By eri123
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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eri123 New Member

eri123

Posted
Posted

I apologize in advance if this doesn't make sense. I can't seem to think straight and am in so much pain...

 

Everything was going amazing until three weeks ago. I had finals week for my last semester in my MA program and he got upset that I could not meet up with him late at night. We had made plans the day before for earlier (around 8pm-9pm) but he ended up having to stay at work till late (He works at a bar/club at a hotel). He did not call me until 11pm to make plans to get a drink. When he called me I began trying to figure out how we could see each other, but before I was able to say anything he hung up on me mid-sentence. I tried calling him back but he refused to pick up and completely ignored me. He then proceeded to post pictures of him going out with other people on social media. I was so hurt and stressed that I stopped trying to contact him. He knew what was going on and how stressed I was. I only had finals for the next four days until I was completely done with school.

 

My graduation went by without a single phone call or apology from him. He did not contact me until over a week later with a simple "I wanna see you." I was planning to never speak to him again but I was too weak and wanted to give him a chance to explain. Last Saturday we met up to talk. During the whole entire conversation, he never once apologized. He just kept saying it was a "miscommunication" and that "he was stressed too." We left it there with him saying that he would text me/call me later. But Saturday and Sunday went by and he didn't reach out at all. Afterwards, I couldn't get my thoughts as well as my friends comments out of my head.

 

My close friends all said that he changed a lot after he started working in a nightclub (he started smoking more and drinking more). Even worse they said they thought he was jealous. They said that he conveniently picked that day to have our first big argument because he was trying to sabotage and was jealous of me graduating (He has not finished his bachelor's degree). He has never quite acted supportive or helpful during my stressful times in classes. But I never once thought of it until my friends mentioned it.

 

I couldn't stop thinking about it. About how hurt I was that when I needed him, he didn't care at all. I didn't even notice how far and few his calls/texts had gotten since he began his new job (I looked through our old text messages). Though I was crying the whole time, I broke it off Monday. The only response he gave me was "ok." That broke my heart even more. Since then, I blocked him on all social media. But it's been so hard.

 

Did I make the right choice? In my mind, I am almost sure I did but I miss him so much. I never thought my graduation would end up like this. I thought we would have more time together and that he would be happy and proud. I never thought this would happen.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted

This last straw that broke the camel's back may not have been that dramatic & it may have been a miscommunication as he put it, but overall if you're honest you have had a sense that something was off since he got the new job. Granted it all game to a head & put a cloud over your graduation but it may be that it's time for you to move on.

  • Like 1
ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted

You did the right thing. I'm sorry he put such a damper on such an important day for you, too.

 

It almost seems as though he staged this fight and purposely ignored this big milestone in your life because he wanted out. Perhaps this was his very immature, rude and indirect way of ending it.

 

How long had you been together? Had you seen any similar signs of trouble before?

  • Like 1
mightycpa Established Member

mightycpa

Posted
Posted (edited)
....The only response he gave me was "ok." That broke my heart even more.
you warmed my heart with that one. I did that once too, and she was PO'd when I turned to leave. Never saw her again.

 

Back to your problem. Your ex is an @$$hat who is, due to your good sense, no longer your problem. Your problem now is that you don't recognize the good you did for yourself.

 

He should have been over at your place making you tea and helping you get rest so that you'd do the best you could on your exams, not asking you out to go have drinks during exam week. Exams are exhausting enough without adding partying on top of them. You party when you're done.

Edited by mightycpa
  • Like 4
spiderowl Established Member

spiderowl

Posted
Posted

You did the right thing. He wasn't there for you. He did not give you any explanation for hanging up on you. He clearly has issues which may or may not be related to you. If a guy refuses to be there for you when the chips are down, lose him.

 

I know it hurts and it is a lot to go through with all the stress of your exams too. I am sorry things went this way. This guy is nowhere near mature enough for you.

  • Like 1
LivingWaterPlease Established Member

LivingWaterPlease

Posted
Posted

Agree that you did the right thing and now it will just take time for your emotions to catch up with your head, which is on straight, good for you!

 

From the way you describe him he sounds immature, self-centered and a bit gamey. You'd have only had more of the same treatment. Now you can heal and prepare to be with a great guy who will treat you well and you can have good times with!

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