AT15 Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 I am over my ex. I am not in love anymore. The thought of him with someone else does not hurt me. The thought of me with someone else makes me super happy. The irony is you can't let go until you're over them. Weird right? I still have anger but then it switches at times to indifference. Being in this place of strength and hope is a very sweet place. My ex was bpd/narc, and the relationship caused a lot of drama and damage within my emotional self which then manifested in my day to day life. Now, with a clear head, I have to rebuild in some ways. I've learned so much about people who you just can't help. I've learned about manipulation. I've learned about emotional abuse. It is SO very important that you know and take care of yourself above your significant other and the relationship. You matter! And a healthy partner does not put you in scenarios where you feel you have to lie about your needs to make them happy. That's not what I call a healthy relationship. It does so much harm. No contact whatsoever, is the best road to recovery. They are doing you a favor by not contacting you. The feeling of abandonment is temporary. It's a temporary emotion. It will change. Listening to self help YouTube videos helped my mindset as far as letting go. There was one guy who broke it down so well that I stopped hurting as intensely as I was. Thank you everyone for "trying" to talk sense into me. I couldn't hear you because my emotions were running my life. But, I appreciate all the support. 3
Whodatdog Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 Most people think the opposite of love is hate. It isnt. Its indifference. You are there. Congratulations. 1
1fish2fish Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 That's awesome! I am so happy for you. Do you have the name of those videos?
babysacay Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 I can't wait to be where you're at!!! What YouTube videos would you recommend? I'm struggling getting there.
preraph Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 It's nice when you finally let go. In my case when I finally got over someone who really drove me crazy, it was unfortunately from the frying pan into the fire.....
Real36 Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 I'm so happy for you! I can't wait to get where you are. I'm 5 days post-break up and doing much better than I thought. I have been no contact since the minute he walked out of the door. There was a hiccup on Monday but once I worked that out of my head I've been on the right path. Congratulations!
Altair0770 Posted June 8, 2017 Posted June 8, 2017 The common mistake people make is forcing themselves to get over someone, putting themselves down sub-conciously for not being over someone that broke up with them. It's best to let it happen naturally, rather than put yourself in the position to think about them by thinking you are getting over them. I still have thoughts about my ex, but they happen less and less. Let it happen naturally. Congrats on being there. 1
Author AT15 Posted June 8, 2017 Author Posted June 8, 2017 This is the link to the YouTube videos that helped my mind understand why I was feeling the way that I felt... It helped me a lot. I hope it helps you all, too. https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCUmIWUO-oHqQIPFbwDfTjWA There is a part of me that is still confused about why I made the choices that I made. Was I really in love? Was I trying to fill a void? Why didn't I walk away after the first cheating scandal? The questions have switched from "why did he?" to "Why did I?". None of the drama would have happened if I would have walked away at the first red flag. I don't think I know what real love feels like. I just know what it feels like to have a void filled. So, I'm working on discovering real love. 3
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