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Best response to a girl who flakes on the day of date?

fmfan08

By fmfan08
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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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I just went with "Sorry to hear that. Hope you guys can solve it. Let me know what day works for you " as I accepted the rejection, leaves it on a positive note if she was telling the truth but I can't see it. Not had a response tonight so my gut feeling was probably right.

 

I could understand this after a first date if she wasn't feeling it but why agree and why keep asking questions of details about our date then cancel. I'd have taken silence instead when I asked her. It's not like I even got a chance.

Edited by fmfan08
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JuneJulySeptember Established Member

JuneJulySeptember

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Everything was good in the run up to out date and yesterday when I said I was starting work, she said "Have a nice shift, see you tomorrow ?" so all good, but 5 hours before our date today she sent a text saying "Hey, had a huge fight with my housemate/best friend and honestly I feel like crap. Can we postpone the date for tonight? Really don't feel like going out. Sorry".

 

Now I know this date will never happen or she doesn't actually want to go through with it as she didn't offer an alternate day, but what's the BEST matured response to flaking like this?

 

I don't understand why women do that.

 

If you are on the fence, then just go on the planned date. It shows courtesy...

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thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

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FFS....I can't see why so many people are so bent about a cancelled date??....It's a date, it's not a parole board hearing....:laugh:

 

But really...Just relax..Wait and see what happens before you jump the gun and start calling foul.....

 

TFY

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hercules22 Established Member

hercules22

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i always give one chance if shes flake a 2nd time then goodbye that when i will never ask again and wont contact ever again

act00 Established Member

act00

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I think at this stage, since she has seemed to be interested, give her the benefit of the doubt. Wish her well and ask if she's open to the following night or when she's available. If she flakes a second time, move on. I've had this happen to me, and while you suspect they're not interested or they met someone that seemed more interesting to go out with, whatever is going on could be legit. If she cancels a second time or is a bit wishy-washy about another date, at that point I would let it go.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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So have you heard back yet?

 

 

Sadly the more time that passes, the less likely that she's interested. Good for you for being mature & gracious about the whole thing though.

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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Earlier today she text me "Hey I can meet you on Monday if this is okay with you :)"

 

I replied "Sure, see you at the same place at 4pm?"

 

She said "Can't do 4pm. I can meet you at 7:30pm :) as I'm in my placement until 7pm".

 

I said "Unfortunately I'm busy later on, what other days are you free?"

 

She said "Next week that is my only free evening"

 

So I just replied "When you have a free day let me know and we'll sort something then :)".

 

I do actually have a date with a different girl (girl #2) Monday night. I was talking to this other girl last night asking if she's free Monday and she responded today saying yes, so I'm not going to switch that date to another day with girl #1 who's already cancelled on me. Am I right to do this?

 

Just I feel like girl #1 blew her chance so I'm prioritising girl #2 for that day. I'm sure girl #1 has another day free during the week and is possibly "acting hard to get" because I said I was busy that evening after she cancelled on me originally, if you get what I'm saying

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CautiouslyOptimistic Established Member

CautiouslyOptimistic

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Earlier today she text me "Hey I can meet you on Monday if this is okay with you :)"

 

I replied "Sure, see you at the same place at 4pm?"

 

She said "Can't do 4pm. I can meet you at 7:30pm :) as I'm in my placement until 7pm".

 

I said "Unfortunately I'm busy later on, what other days are you free?"

 

She said "Next week that is my only free evening"

 

So I just replied "When you have a free day let me know and we'll sort something then :)".

 

I do actually have a date with a different girl (girl #2) Monday night. I was talking to this other girl last night asking if she's free Monday and she responded today saying yes, so I'm not going to switch that date to another day with girl #1 who's already cancelled on me. Am I right to do this?

 

Just I feel like girl #1 blew her chance so I'm prioritising girl #2 for that day. I'm sure girl #1 has another day free during the week and is possibly "acting hard to get" because I said I was busy that evening after she cancelled on me originally, if you get what I'm saying

 

I think you handled it perfectly :).

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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I think you handled it perfectly :).

 

Me too.

 

 

See good things come to those who don't ghost.

 

 

Now you have 2 dates

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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Me too.

 

 

See good things come to those who don't ghost.

 

 

Now you have 2 dates

 

I don't though, I only have one date. Which is better than none, I guess..

 

The first girl, which this thread is about, said she could only do 7:30pm on Monday, but the problem is I have a date at 8pm with a DIFFERENT girl so I told this first girl I was busy and what other day she could do. She told me that Monday evening was the only evening she was free this week. So I said to her to let me know if she's free another day and we'll sort something.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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You are going to get to go out with her. It will just take a tad more finagling & scheduling. But it will happen.

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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You are going to get to go out with her. It will just take a tad more finagling & scheduling. But it will happen.

 

Would it be wise to suspect that she's saying Monday is her only free day this week to play "hard to get" after I said I was busy then? Just wondering if she's going to assume that I'm playing hard to get after she cancelled the other day.

 

When she did cancel, I did tell her to get back to me when she knows she's free and then she actually did. I've done the same again, so I'm guessing when she knows she's free she'll tell me.

 

If I hear nothing by next Wednesday I'll reach out to her and try again, seeing as she did reach out to me about arranging a date on Monday, so fair is fair.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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You said Monday at 4:30. She said she she's not available until 7:30 which doesn't work for you. (I give you huge kudos for not rescheduling the date you already have). Stop gaming this & just ask her when she is free next. It's likely the week after next. Set the date up. Relax & enjoy your date with the other woman.

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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You said Monday at 4:30. She said she she's not available until 7:30 which doesn't work for you. (I give you huge kudos for not rescheduling the date you already have). Stop gaming this & just ask her when she is free next. It's likely the week after next. Set the date up. Relax & enjoy your date with the other woman.

 

Yeah, I did ask this other girl to go out Monday first so not changing that.

 

The girl who cancelled is on the "backburner" of mine and I'll text her next Wednesday if I hear nothing by then. I would usually just move on but she was actually wanting to meet despite me being busy, so benefit of the doubt.

 

I'll revisit this thread if anything updates, thanks for your help :p

CautiouslyOptimistic Established Member

CautiouslyOptimistic

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Would it be wise to suspect that she's saying Monday is her only free day this week to play "hard to get" after I said I was busy then? Just wondering if she's going to assume that I'm playing hard to get after she cancelled the other day.

 

When she did cancel, I did tell her to get back to me when she knows she's free and then she actually did. I've done the same again, so I'm guessing when she knows she's free she'll tell me.

 

If I hear nothing by next Wednesday I'll reach out to her and try again, seeing as she did reach out to me about arranging a date on Monday, so fair is fair.

 

Good plan, and no, don't assume she is playing hard to get. She might actually just be busy.

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