scratch Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 Being acquaintances or friends with someone that you would date if you are single is far different than developing an emotional romantic relationship. Yes, there is a fine line but you know if you've crossed it. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=68083 Is it emotional cheating if your best friend is a different person than your SO?
theclash Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 I feel like everyone I know has cheated on a significant other at some point. Sometimes I feel likeI'm the only one who hasn't. Am I alone? um, I have NEVER cheated on a boyfriend. I wouldnt even dream of it. Not everyone out there are two timing idoits
A Fly onThe Wall Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by scratch What's an emotional relationship? Do you mean that if you're in a relationship, you cannot have contact with anyone with whom you'd be willing to date were you single? In an emotional relationship you rely on that person emotionally. You share things that you should be sharing to your SO. You go to them for comfort when you should be going to your SO. In basis you get from them all the nuturing emotional things of value that should be coming from you SO.
Author JS17 Posted August 4, 2005 Author Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by scratch Is it emotional cheating if your best friend is a different person than your SO? do you really not know the difference between your best friend and your SO? i think you're just antagonizing.
scratch Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall In an emotional relationship you rely on that person emotionally. You share things that you should be sharing to your SO. You go to them for comfort when you should be going to your SO. In basis you get from them all the nuturing emotional things of value that should be coming from you SO. The "should be" is incredibly nebulous, but I think I get your meaning. The rub comes, however, when what we often need is comfort or support about our relationship with our SO.
J dub Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 While I have to admit I am one who has cheated before, and been cheated on, I do want to point out that life has a funny way of working out for the best. I understand everyone makes conscious choices but generally if youre cheating, youre not getting your needs met which means that person isnt right for you anyway. It's a very selfish act to commit, and I hate myself for doing it. BUT, karma is a b*tch and believe me, I got my payback for what I had done
elijahBailey Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 Closest I came to was when me and a co-worker were flirting quite a bit. When I ended it, the withdrawal hurt like shyt, and it was weird between us for a while. But that's not really cheating per se, right? So then, uh, I've never cheated before.
scratch Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 do you really not know the difference between your best friend and your SO? i think you're just antagonizing. I thought I did. Then I read the definiton of "emotional relationship" set forth in the link you provided. How carefully did you read it? I am antagonizing, to the extent I demand you back up your positions instead of just throwing around words and accusations, Mrs. Woggle.
Author JS17 Posted August 4, 2005 Author Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by scratch I thought I did. Then I read the definiton of "emotional relationship" set forth in the link you provided. How carefully did you read it? I am antagonizing, to the extent I demand you back up your positions instead of just throwing around words and accusations, Mrs. Woggle. I believe that AFOTW explained it very well and I would just be repeating what he said if I were to explain it further. I could draw you a picture if you still don't understand it, maybe with some crayons. You're just ticked because I called you out for cheating.
scratch Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 I believe that AFOTW explained it very well and I would just be repeating what he said if I were to explain it further. I could draw you a picture if you still don't understand it, maybe with some crayons. You're just ticked because I called you out for cheating. Actually, at the point when you accused me of being antagonistic he hadn't explained anything. I acknowledged his explanation as valid. Honey, you can call me out for anything you wish. If anything, my cheating was worse than most people's because it was of the most self-serving sort, and I went on to articulate that. I'll try this again - what of the instance where you need comfort and support regarding issues within your relationship? Feel free to answer without stamping about and spewing irrelevant insults and accusations.
Author JS17 Posted August 4, 2005 Author Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by scratch Actually, at the point when you accused me of being antagonistic he hadn't explained anything. I acknowledged his explanation as valid. Honey, you can call me out for anything you wish. If anything, my cheating was worse than most people's because it was of the most self-serving sort, and I went on to articulate that. I'll try this again - what of the instance where you need comfort and support regarding issues within your relationship? Feel free to answer without stamping about and spewing irrelevant insults and accusations. I accused you of being antagonistic because I found it so hard to believe that someone would not be able to tell the difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship that has not yet become physical. Personally, if I found the need to discuss my relationship with someone of the opposite sex I would not go to someone I had romantic feelings for. I would go to a male friend, most likely someone I've known for a while and trust, with relationship problems, of course. I also know that I would never go out with these guys that I'm talking to about my problems, they are friends and they will forever stay friends (assuming they are nothing like yourself). Of course, things happen, sometimes you develop feelings for a friend when you would not expect to. At that point, if you continue on with both members of the opposite sex, even in a non-physical way, and continue to have feelings for both then it is emotional cheating. In my personal experience, I've seen it happen more so with new people in someone's life....the man/woman meets someone new with dating potential and develop an intimate relationship without getting physical. Do you mean stomping? I find stomping ineffective since I'm a rather petite woman. If you mean stamping, I only do that when I send letters in the mail and you don't need to do that for your internet mails.
dreaming4ever Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 I also have never cheated on anyone but I've been cheated on and know how much that hurts, I could NEVER cheat on anyone, I couldn't do that to someone I loved. People who cheat and think it's ok make me feel sick to my stomach. I mean, how can you do that to another person?? If you don't want to be with them, just break up with them. I just hope I can find a guy to marry who feels as strongly about cheating as I do so he'll never do it. It's so discouraging knowing the number of people who cheat like it's nothing these days. And not knowing if the person your dating is that kind of person until you fall in love with them and experience it really blows
Woggle Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by dreaming4ever I also have never cheated on anyone but I've been cheated on and know how much that hurts, I could NEVER cheat on anyone, I couldn't do that to someone I loved. People who cheat and think it's ok make me feel sick to my stomach. I mean, how can you do that to another person?? If you don't want to be with them, just break up with them. I just hope I can find a guy to marry who feels as strongly about cheating as I do so he'll never do it. It's so discouraging knowing the number of people who cheat like it's nothing these days. And not knowing if the person your dating is that kind of person until you fall in love with them and experience it really blows You can marry me. I hate cheating as much as you do.
dreaming4ever Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET! Sounds great Woggle....where and when?
scratch Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 I accused you of being antagonistic because I found it so hard to believe that someone would not be able to tell the difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship that has not yet become physical. Ah, "not yet become physical" means something altogether different than the post to which you referred me or Fly's explanation. In fact, it was my first thought - a closeness with someone you'd date were you single. Yet I'm the one being antagonistic, eh? Originally posted by JS17 Personally, if I found the need to discuss my relationship with someone of the opposite sex I would not go to someone I had romantic feelings for. I would go to a male friend, most likely someone I've known for a while and trust, with relationship problems, of course. I also know that I would never go out with these guys that I'm talking to about my problems, they are friends and they will forever stay friends (assuming they are nothing like yourself). I think most people have had a friend of the opposite sex with whom they were very close, yet thought about that person romantically. Every female friend I can think of who wouldn't date me is either someone who I turned down, or someone who has a type (very tall, very heavy, or very good-natured) I fall well without. You'd never go out with a guy who was nothing like me? JS, are you flirting with me again? Originally posted by JS17 Of course, things happen, sometimes you develop feelings for a friend when you would not expect to. At that point, if you continue on with both members of the opposite sex, even in a non-physical way, and continue to have feelings for both then it is emotional cheating. In my personal experience, I've seen it happen more so with new people in someone's life....the man/woman meets someone new with dating potential and develop an intimate relationship without getting physical. So you feel that you need to cut a friend out of your life if you develop feelings for him when you have a boyfriend? Seems rather draconian to me. Is there a more moderate step one can take without being branded a cheater? Originally posted by JS17 Do you mean stomping? I find stomping ineffective since I'm a rather petite woman. If you mean stamping, I only do that when I send letters in the mail and you don't need to do that for your internet mails. Here ya go, stampy; today's vocabulary lesson. http://www.brainydictionary.com/words/st/stamp223493.html
Author JS17 Posted August 4, 2005 Author Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by scratch Ah, "not yet become physical" means something altogether different than the post to which you referred me or Fly's explanation. In fact, it was my first thought - a closeness with someone you'd date were you single. Yet I'm the one being antagonistic, eh? Yes, yes you are. I think most people have had a friend of the opposite sex with whom they were very close, yet thought about that person romantically. Every female friend I can think of who wouldn't date me is either someone who I turned down, or someone who has a type (very tall, very heavy, or very good-natured) I fall well without. You'd never go out with a guy who was nothing like me? JS, are you flirting with me again? I would never flirt with you. You would also never forever stay my friend because I would never be friends with a pompous twit such as yourself. So you feel that you need to cut a friend out of your life if you develop feelings for him when you have a boyfriend? Seems rather draconian to me. Is there a more moderate step one can take without being branded a cheater? No there is not. Here ya go, stampy; today's vocabulary lesson. http://www.brainydictionary.com/words/st/stamp223493.html Personally I preferred: to crush or to pulverize.
Woggle Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by dreaming4ever SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET! Sounds great Woggle....where and when? Let me move to Canada. I am sick of Bush. Give me about 2 months to sell the house and take care of business.
Marshbear32 Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 I would never flirt with you. You would also never forever stay my friend because I would never be friends with a pompous twit such as yourself. Wow, JS. Let him have it between the eyes..
Author JS17 Posted August 4, 2005 Author Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear32 Wow, JS. Let him have it between the eyes.. well someone's got to put this monkey in his place. yesterday he decided that there were 4 intelligent people in this forum and asked people to pm him if they wanted to know. how judgemental can one person get? when i was younger, kids like this used to get beat up in school.
A Fly onThe Wall Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by scratch Mrs. Woggle.
Marshbear32 Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 well someone's got to put this monkey in his place. yesterday he decided that there were 4 intelligent people in this forum and asked people to pm him if they wanted to know. how judgemental can one person get? when i was younger, kids like this used to get beat up in school. Are you refering to Alpha's post on your favorite advice givers? The thread didn't last and got deleted. I would not discount anyone's advice if they took the time to post. I may not agree but I wouldn't block them unless they were rude. You just have to go on and let some people think their "all that" because no matter what you say you will never change their minds. I have never cheated in a relationship and I never would. I would end the relationship if I felt the need to go to that level. It would mean my feelings had changed for that person and I would give them the respect of ending it before I embarked upon a different path. Take care.... P.S. I would be your friend....
whichwayisup Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 Sometimes it's best not to react to a post you don't like...Read it and let it roll on by...
Merin Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 I have never cheated on anyone. However I have been cheated on... The most interesting case of this was my last BF who cheated at every opportunity, denied like there was no tomorrow AND accused like a champ I remember growing up thinking there was only one good relationship in the world that I thought was immune from infidelity... I watched my Dad's buddies cheat on thier Wifes like crazy and always thought that was them but not my Dad... Until... Damn, that killed me... it made me look at things in a whole different way from then on.
Author JS17 Posted August 4, 2005 Author Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Sometimes it's best not to react to a post you don't like...Read it and let it roll on by... Agreed and 99.9% of the time I do. In general I'm pretty nice to everyone but if you piss me off, watch out! Originally posted by Marshbear32 I have never cheated in a relationship and I never would. I would end the relationship if I felt the need to go to that level. It would mean my feelings had changed for that person and I would give them the respect of ending it before I embarked upon a different path. [quoteIt's funny that you said that, my ex-bf said the same thing (almost verbatem) when we first got together and he told me about how he cheated on his ex-gf. P.S. I would be your friend.... thanks, i'd be your friend too. A Fly onThe Wall - haven't you heard, Woggle served me divorce papers. he's marrying someone else.
Author JS17 Posted August 4, 2005 Author Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by Merin I watched my Dad's buddies cheat on thier Wifes like crazy and always thought that was them but not my Dad... Until... Damn, that killed me... it made me look at things in a whole different way from then on. sorry Merin, I can't even imagine. that must have been rough.
Recommended Posts