Zakimozart Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 This girl in my circle friends i had a crush for more than 3 years. She was had a two year relationship with my close friend(cheated twice on her). Valentines i found out they broke up because the guy cheated AGAIN so then i thought i found an oppurtunity because the guy already found another GF so then i surprised her on valentines day she said yes with no hesitation. In the first month things went so good , i was her priority she didnt want to lose me and gets jealous and all that stuff. I fell for her so bad because i already liked her and waited for her for 3 years and then she kinda gave me a feel of her kinda love even gave me a specch about “god knows how much i want to love you but i cant because i still love my ex”. After the first month things kinda got confusing. All of the sudden she kinda got unsure of me(or was this all me). And i noticed she was entertaining other guys (i got so jelous) talked about it to her expressed how i got hurt and she even said sorry about what happened at first month she told me she just wanted someone to replace the attention her ex gave her (**** destroyed me but i still pushed through) . And she kinda gave me the lets be friends speech but then i turned it around and told her give me a chance so then i became her special someone again . Things kinda got hard for me because i was already inlove with her and i didnt feel it was reciprocated but still i pushed through again. The third month i felt something again and i kinda got hurt again. Because i asked her if i had a chance she gave me the “i really dont want to answer that right now” and i also asked her if she had feelings for me she told me “soon you’ll know” i was really confused and scared that i might get hurt again in the future that she might replace me because i didnt know what i was to her. I saw a post in her FB that kinda really hurt the hell out of me and so then i tried to move on and told her i need space to love myself i suddenly blocked her without waiting for her response (wrong move) after a week we talked . She expressed that she tried to love me the whole time but all of the feelings wasted because of the block thing and to my crazy ass brain i asked for another chance but yeah she told me that she just wants us to be friends asked her why i was so easily put there at the friendzone after everything that happened she told me “why did you easily leave and block me and i didnt even know what i did” i told her “ that **** was the hardest decision and i clearly stated i needed space . You got confused on what you did? Well i got confused on what i was to you ” . We talked for an hour first 30 min things were so serious but after 30min i thought things were really going good because she kinda felt happy and comfortable i thought i could be her special someone again, but then that night she told me again she just wants us to be friends like before (i got destroyed) for 4 days she still treated me as kinda special but she started backoff and it kinda felt ****ty. And i asked her again what she wanted . And she said friends again so then we had this agreement that she wont bother me because i told her my feelings for her was really big. 2 weeks passed of no contact circle friends were having a meet and i never thought she would go so **** me, **** went out of hand . I got uncomfortable and talked to her again about everything because my mind was clear but still had feelings for her. She told me that i was the only one that she was really trying to love and after i left there is this guy that is persuing her (hurts me again) but then she told me she missed our old “thing “ and maybe we could have it back and she expressed how she wanted me and told me i deserve better. she cried because she was still not over her ex she mummbled “ why wasnt it you why wanst it you” she also told me that she didnt want to be my experiment relationship because i never had a gf before and she said sorry for using me she actually told me that maybe we could be together in the future she gave me the “maybe” i dont know WHAT TO DO I'M CONFUSED SHOULD I STILL PERSUE HER BECAUSE NOW SHE MIGHT BE HAVING a thing with OTHER GUY OR i dont know BUT IM ALSO SCARED OF GETTING HURT BECAUSE OF UNREQUITED ATTENTION AND LOVE AND I DONT KNOW WHY I GET HURT WHEN SHE IGNORES ME ONLINE **** MAKES ME OVERTHINK **TL;DR**- Fell inlove with a broken girl ,got used for awhile. she's confused . I didnt know what i was to her gets hurt because of unrequited attention. Im confused i got hurt she got hurt we talked she explaind she actually loved me but idk if she meant it should i push or move on. I really love this girl
Ami1uwant Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 A few rules 1. You don't date your bst friends ex, epically after they broke up. There may be a reason he cheated snd quickly moved on due to her. 2. You never date domeone right after they broke up a multi year relationship unless you want yo be Mr rebound and likely fail. You should have waited a few months before dating her. My advice...move on from her.
Marc878 Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 You have nothing here. Stay away from rebounds. Go dark if you're smart 1
act00 Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 Dating someone so quickly after a long, tumultuous relationship, surely means rebound. She's broken and needs to heal. Repeatedly she told you she's still in love with her ex. She has repeatedly told you "just friends." She may "slip" and give you more from time to time. She probably does care for you and also craves affection, but she's not ready for another relationship. Not what you want and the way you want it. And I'm not sure she's really that into you. You seem to be convenient. It seems that she reaches out and sort of strings you along...and I doubt she's doing this consciously, but she seems like she dangles the carrot, then pulls back. She's not ready. She doesn't know what she wants. It's time for you to move on. No more trying to get with this girl. The timing isn't right, and I'm not sure she's right for you or you for her. You'll keep going through this circle of pain and insecurity. Leave her to do her thing. You need to meet someone who's ready. In a couple of years, if this girl still trips your trigger and she's had a chance to heal, maybe...maybe. You've built her up over the years. You expected her to leap into a long-term, committed relationship after a recent split from a LTR and ugly one at that. It doesn't work that way. She doesn't know what she wants right now. Leave her alone. I know it hurts, but forcing it to work with her also hurts, and possibly hurts more. "Just friends" probably won't work either. You'll have to figure out how to manage yourself and her at group gatherings, but avoid her outside of those, and possibly seek other groups and activities.
doyathinkso Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 Don't be a sucker. The girl you pined for from afar existed only in your mind. You don't really want to be with this other one.
hercules22 Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 what does your close friend think of this i sure as hell wouldnt want any of my friends to be dating my ex . i would just move on clearly shes not over your best friend and who knows how long it will take for her to fully get over him could be months up to a year even and u cant be just friends it doesnt work you cut contact it way to hard to be friends when u fall for someone you will always get out of line
Sara1989 Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 Why oh why did you jump in with a girl who just recently broke up with her ex? you should have bid your time. Now, i would stay away from her as shes no way ready for an relationship. You look more attractive if she seea you getting on with your life. Also start dating other girls! 3 years a long time to pine after someone.
preraph Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 She only wishes she felt that way about you because then life would be easier since you like her, but she has tried and tried and simply doesn't feel that way about you. She has told you like five or more times that she doesn't feel romantic toward you and only likes you as a friend and nothing more. This isn't going to change even if the "close friend" whose woman you poached gets hit by a bus and dies tomorrow. It has no bearing on her mindset. She isn't that attracted to you and doesn't feel a romantic connection and the more you stick around the more times you're going to get shot down and humiliated, so learn to move on when someone bluntly tells you you're in the friendzone. Once you're there, you're never going to be in any other zone except if you disrespect her by persisting as if you can coerce her into being attracted to you, the creep zone.
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