Broken up with friday. Just tying to understand

[lawndartsstick]

In a nutshell:

Dated total of 4 years.

Breakbup with me last year in june..because I needed to work on myself.

Got back with me 12 weeks ago because she wanted to try again after the letter I sent her.

 

Her background.

She has depression, possibly bipolar, and is a high functioning aspie.

 

Everything was goingpretty well. A few things she wanted me to work on myself but nothing major.

Thursday I saw her after work. She acted as if we had not seen each other in weeks. Very affectionet, talkitive.

 

The next day I get a "surprise" visit from her at work. On a side road, onevwhere I wouldnt see her if I wasnt out there at that moment.

She saw me, ran accross thevstreet hugged and kissed me told me she loved me and she was there to surprise me.

 

She left, I went back in, but got a bad feeling. Went back outside...sure enough...not on my car. The bad kind.

 

The note stated that:

She loves me, im patient caring and kind...all that.

However a relationship is not one person trying to fullfill the needs of the other..What?

That she wants to go to college, met new people and have new experiances...whos stopping her? I wasnt.

 

She doesnt want to be in s commited relationship with anyone.

 

That im not her forever...how can you know that without forever happening?

 

That because of our history she knowx we cannot be just friends. Maybe shes right? I mean Im persistant and know what I want..its been her since I met her.

 

Do not contact her through any means...that she is so very sorry for hurting me.

This is goodbye.

 

Floored me.

Im not mad at her, nor harbor any ill will towards her..but damn the nuclear option?

 

It goes without saying I still want her.

I have not contacted her at all.

Iv been told to wait it out. She may come back to me.

I have a hard time Not texting her...but as I said I havent.

 

I just dont understand at all..change of mind in 12 hours?

 

Can somebody make since of this?

[MsJayne]

If I interpreted your post correctly then I will say that it sounds as though she likes the idea of you being in love with her but has no intention of returning the feeling. It also sounds like she enjoys a bit of drama. She told you that you needed to "work on yourself"? WTH? How long has she been perfect for? You say she's suffering from depression, is possibly bi-polar, and has Aspergers, (?) I would add Narcissist to that list, and an insufferable one at that! Sounds like she just re-appeared to make sure you hadn't actually moved on and found someone worthy of your time. Believe it or not, there are women out there who won't put invisible hurdles in front of you and make you jump over them. Sorry, but she just sounds like an odious little twerp. Let her be some other guys misery, and find yourself someone who values you for yourself and not what they think you should be.

[lawndartsstick]

I should have gave more info, without it the wrong impression may be made.

 

Things I needed to work on and

The first breakup was due to me becoming depressed, wasting money on stupid **** instead of saving up for a new place we could call our own, I became content with mediocrity, not handling what I needed to handle, not following through wuth my choices, and I got jealous over somthing stupid. Those were the things I needed to work on the first go round...and I didnt start out that way..I just ended up that way.

 

I changed all that because I needed to for myself.

Fast forward 8 months later I sent her a letter. She said she was going to try with me again.

 

The second time, all she wanted me to work on was being overly emotional to certain things she did or did not do. I took some behaviors way too personally. I know her, I know she doesnt things to hurt me on purpose. Thats why the second time I tried to dial that back.

She only asked that of me after giving me a long line of compliments and heart felt thank yous.

[Hurtingguy]

I should have gave more info, without it the wrong impression may be made.

 

Things I needed to work on and

The first breakup was due to me becoming depressed, wasting money on stupid **** instead of saving up for a new place we could call our own, I became content with mediocrity, not handling what I needed to handle, not following through wuth my choices, and I got jealous over somthing stupid. Those were the things I needed to work on the first go round...and I didnt start out that way..I just ended up that way.

 

I changed all that because I needed to for myself.

Fast forward 8 months later I sent her a letter. She said she was going to try with me again.

 

The second time, all she wanted me to work on was being overly emotional to certain things she did or did not do. I took some behaviors way too personally. I know her, I know she doesnt things to hurt me on purpose. Thats why the second time I tried to dial that back.

She only asked that of me after giving me a long line of compliments and heart felt thank yous.

 

I'm so sorry your going through this believe me when I say my heart is wit you and I know how u feel.i have learned my lesson the hard way don't make the same mistakes take the advice from ppl on this board they know what there talking about...only time will tell what will happen but if u do decide to contact her believe me she's gone for good take from someone that's going through this..don't change yourself for somebody else change for you...jealousy kills relationships I've had it destroy mine...keep fixing yourself for you heal yourself and find yourself again like I need to do now..until we both do this we will not be happy again u never know what she's thinking but if she cam back once she will most likely come back again have hope but keep moving on talk to people on here there here for you were all here for each other to help us get through these tough times I hope you get through this friend

[lawndartsstick]

I havent made any contact.

 

shes came back twice now. However weve always remsined friends...this time is different because she decieded to end all contact with me.

 

Will she comeback? I dont know.

A mutual friend says give her time she may realize who and what I am to her.

Then again she may already realize that and doesnt matter to her.

Everything was going great, We were communicating our needs to each other which we never really did before. At least she never really did and poof over a12 hour span she leaves me. It doesnt make since, at all.

 

I know im grasping at anything for hope. This person was and is precious to me.

Do I wait for her to reachbout?

Do I make contact a month from now?

Do I leave it all alone?

 

Id rather not do the last option, theres so many reason why we were good for each other. She knows them, thats what was in my letter 12 weeks ago that brought her back.

[preraph]

She was struggling with the decision, but the truth is once you have that momentum toward wanting to free yourself, in the end, you will do just that. She cares about you, but she knows you're not her forever guy. It's best to just move on. I'm sorry. I know it hurts.

[RustCohle]

That im not her forever...how can you know that without forever happening?

Because "forever" is a bedtime story for the kids. Are you a kid?

 

How you should approach this? Ghost for 5 months. Literally.

You are on the right track because you avoided the death after she dumped you. That's what most people do. Contact and act needy. You haven't done that and you HAVE A VERY HIGH CHANCE OF GETTING HER BACK IN YOUR BED. Don't screw things up! 5 Months of complete ghosting.

 

Then text her with a "Hey there" like nothing is happening, fluff talk a bit without complimenting her and TELL her(not ask her) "Hey! Join me at my place X day at XX time. I'll cook X". When she comes over don't talk about the relationship and the past just be playful and sexual. This is the only way to get her passionate about you again.

 

In the mean time go out and find a new girl.

[lawndartsstick]

Its not that I want her back in my bed.

I want her back in my life.

 

Things were looking very good.

Communication out what we needed out of each other the eeeks before. A new foubd affection from her. At the same time not livingbtogether giving us both space and tine apart.

Then flop...Its just all weird to me.

 

Forever can be forever, in the since that forever isnt forever, its forever to you, till you die.

 

But I will not communicate with her at all.

 

Weirder still, I wasnt blocked on FB, nor any other social media..I mean she stopped following me on insta but she could have just blocked me...its damn confusing.

[lawndartsstick]

Anybod know why she would tell me not to talk her yet still not block me on social media