matthewjames88 Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 Guys I feel like a complete fool and I am embarrassed to write this post. My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me a month ago. She has blamed me for everything about the breakup. The only thing I did wrong was concentrated on my career and exams I had to complete. She has been extremely cruel. I have always been nice to her (too nice). I was in control after the breakup until she called me out of nowhere asking for her to help her with research for her college work, and for me to email her with info. I completely lost it, I questioned the relationship and how I felt. It got out of hand and she kept hanging up the phone. Back and forth like this and then she said do not contact me again and blocked me from everything. Typing this it sounds so pathetic, she and i are 30 years old and we live in different cities. I emailed her apologizing and sent some info for her work. She said thanks for the email. I'm sorry but it's too hard to speak to you, it is too much of an adjustment for me to handle. I replied saying we both need time to adjust and we need space. I'd do anything to have her back. I feel like I've really pushed her away even though in the long run it was her who ended the relationship. What do you guys think. I should move in everyone tells me I should. I can't bare someone hating me or not ever hearing from her again. Can a girl ever unblock in time?
RustCohle Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 The reality is she lost attraction for you. Everything else is her excuse. All women will blame everything on the guy when the break up with him. You are no different. The fact that you live in different cities(so long distant relationship) makes things even worse. You shouldn't be with her in the first place(unless you were near when you met the first time). LDR are very bad and never end well. NEVER. Even if you come close later on there will be bad blood from the LDR that will cause problems down the road. A man with options does not do exclusive LDR. And a woman knows that. She can't unblock in time because you begged. That drives her attraction down to the toilet and there is no turning back.
Frostedflake Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 Can a girl ever unblock in time? She's not a girl, she's a woman. And you're a man. You're both 30 which means this phone tag game you guys played was super immature and you knew better. Get out of that high school mentality, stat. Second, anyone can unblock someone after some time. The reason they would, however, is because of the state of their life at that point. As in, they considered you are an important part of their life and they are mature enough to work through the relationships problems with you and get back together. Or they are suffering from the period of low self-esteem that comes following a breakup where they've lost all comforts and things they're accustomed to and even though it's BAD IDEA they chase that familiar feeling by getting back into a broken relationship or testing the waters/dragging their feet with you until they've properly moved on. On a personal note, I would listen to the advice you've been given to move on. It did not sound like a mature relationship to begin with. Build yourself a little better and find someone new who will meet you halfway.
mightycpa Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 I'm quite sure that you know people you'll never see again. Probably from as recently as last year. Don't overdramatize that, it happens all the time. So far, based on what you've written, what little I know of your ex is that she's: -- a blamer -- one sided -- extremely cruel -- self-interested -- uncommunicative -- punishing -- done with you for romance -- probably going to be back for other stuff she needs Everyone is right. Move on. Block her back. Find a girl with some better qualities than the ones you listed. 4
RustCohle Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 The reason he blocked him is because he acted needy and begged. Had he said "Fine. Have fun!" and going after dates, she wouldn't have blocked him. The begging and neediness after the breakup causes the death of any hope. The reason a woman seeks for you in the future and years later is because she wants to play around some more with the easy target and feel better for her esteem. I don't think anyone wants to be back in such a relationship. But had he acted aloof as I say above, she might seek him out in the future because she is attracted to him. That sets the right direction.
preraph Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 Sounds like she just wants to use you to do her homework for her and doesn't care otherwise, so I think you're wasting your time and emotions on her and can find someone better to love who supports you in your career and education. 2
d0nnivain Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 People block EXs solely because they are EXs. If two people are no longer together there is no reason for them to have windows into each other's lives. It's over. Accept that. Move on. Dwelling only keeps you stuck longer. 1
RustCohle Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 No people block EXs because of the reaction to the break up. If you are aloof to the break up and continue with your life, there will be no bad blood and no blocks. People use the word EX like it is the greatest disaster in the world. If that ex contacts me a year later I would gladly tap her and without feeling forced to commit to her. How great is that? An ex should be just another girl in your life. Simple as that. If she returns for sex great. If not great again.
d0nnivain Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 Granted I never broke up with anybody in the age of social media but civil or not, if we're no longer together, you're off my friends list. I don't want an EX knowing that level of detail about me & even if I'm over him, I don't need to see his new GF. No thank you. I'd rather simply not know. Look at all the drama having an EX on social media causes around here because they new SO doesn't like it. Ignorance is bliss. 1
RustCohle Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 If you are bothered about his new GF then you are not over him. That's the problem. That's a needy and childish mentality. You should be focusing on getting a new BF instead. Drama happens because the dumpee is bothered. Block him. What are you going to achieve? Yes he is gone from your life forever. And? Does that make you feel better?
Author matthewjames88 Posted June 6, 2017 Author Posted June 6, 2017 Thanks guys. I know she is bad news. She has been married in the past, divorced. since I've known her basically all her relationships have lasted for 2 years max. She wanted to move in get engaged etc. We have loads in common and that's why I thought it would be different with me and her. It's like she is another person now. When I was with her I witnessed her getting in touch with her exs to ask for favours like to use Netflix accounts etc .. I would have just been one of those on the shelf. I will not contact her. 2
preraph Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 That using the exes was your red flag right there. She just views you as resources. 1
elaine567 Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 The begging and neediness after the breakup causes the death of any hope. Its not really the begging and neediness that causes the death of hope it is the begging to deaf ears that causes the death of hope. This girl broke up with him, she is done, she does not want to get back with him, so any begging he does will always be futile, in fact anything he does is going to be futile. Had she been receptive to his attentions and was willing to take him back, then begging may have done him the world of good.
RustCohle Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 Really? Do you know a lot of situations of this happening? Or do you watch a lot of soap operas?
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