Marshawn Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 ive met this girl at school and shes the shy, quiet type. i had asked her for her number and have been texting with her almost every day. She calls me frequently and talk about every thing. she is the one who always calls me. My problem is, she always flakes whenever we make plans to hang out. Like ive said, i think she is just too nervous and shy to hang out one on one because she really likes me. She even admitted that she likes me and is interested in me but i am a little confused as to why she would never want to hang out. i even called her out on it and she told me she wasnt playing any games. Trust me, i am not needy as i know when to back off but i really do like her a lot and even told her that. i dont think she an attention seeker because she had blocked this other guy who was desperately trying to get with her. (then again, he did lie about going on a date with her so she got creeped out). I also dont think she has any other guys she is talking to because she ALWAYS calls me right after work, or late at night so that is not it either. but the motto i go by is, actions speak louder than words, so i am confused as to why she always make excuses to not hang out. is she just really nervous and shy to hang out one on one? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 With a young girl under 20 this is entirely possible. Through the phone she can be free & flirty because you can't touch her. One on one she assumes you will want things she's not ready for -- hugging, kissing & maybe even sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marshawn Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 With a young girl under 20 this is entirely possible. Through the phone she can be free & flirty because you can't touch her. One on one she assumes you will want things she's not ready for -- hugging, kissing & maybe even sex. right, but we always hug when i walk her to her car and when we meet in class. Suck because the semester alrdy ended so the only way to see her again is for us to actually hang out. I am 25 and shes 24 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 maybe you need to define hang out vs date.....if she is interested in you hanging out and chillin isnt the same as dating is it?...deb Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 No, this is next to an impossibility at the age of 24. Maybe she's married? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marshawn Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 No, this is next to an impossibility at the age of 24. Maybe she's married? Nope, she is not married trust me. She was in a 7 year relationship but that ended about 1.5 years ago. I, myself got out of a 4 year relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marshawn Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 maybe you need to define hang out vs date.....if she is interested in you hanging out and chillin isnt the same as dating is it?...deb Dinner and a movie. Very casual. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Dinner and a movie. Very casual. make sure its clear thats a date...deb Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I'm thinking the same thing. Ask her out on a date. It's different than "hanging out." Hanging out at home can lead to "other things," of which she possibly isn't ready for until she has time to spend with you in a safer environment. Plus, if she's really that shy, it will give her time to know you more and feel more comfortable. Impress her. Make her feel special. Take her out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 right, but we always hug when i walk her to her car and when we meet in class. Suck because the semester alrdy ended so the only way to see her again is for us to actually hang out. I am 25 and shes 24 Oh geez, I thought you were teenagers. I would just say straight up to her, that you like her, but you want to actually date someone, and that this isn't what you are interested in. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Tell her straight you want to date her but she keeps turning you down so you're asking her one more time and then moving on. She may just be someone silly who likes to talk and kill time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marshawn Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 Tell her straight you want to date her but she keeps turning you down so you're asking her one more time and then moving on. She may just be someone silly who likes to talk and kill time. Yeah i completely feel you, that is what i am afraid of as well. The way she talks to me makes me feel that is not the case. I told her, if she was just a random girl and blew me off twice, then i would have already given her the boot. So hopefully, next time she won't blow me off. I am not going to push the issue anymore and wait until she asks me because i do not want to force or pressure into anything. But i really hope we hang out before june 26th, bc im leaving for deployment 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Does she live with her parents? maybe her parents are very strict. or She may be agoraphobic or have some other anxiety type disorder... Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Whatever the case, it's the fact she keeps dodging hanging out with you....you should be ditching her and focusing on meeting someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Yeah, don't just focus only on her. She could be talking to a half-dozen guys the same way she is to you. Anyway, I hope your deployment goes well. Thanks for your service. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 How much distance is involved. When the semester was in session & you routinely saw each other it was easy. If now it's a p.i.t.a. to see you she may not want to start something over the summer. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I concur with deb and act00 –– the difference between date and hang out may be significant to her, and she's waiting for you to ask her on a proper date. My suggestion would be to plan a date that requires some effort on your part, perhaps reservations, etc. such that both asking and flaking would be more significant. When she accepts, let her know that this a big deal to you. Then if she flakes, you should ghost her for a few days. You need to make it apparent that you're not going accept a virtual girlfriend. She either dates you or you're moving on and finding someone who will. Obviously you don't say that... you let her surmise it from your actions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I concur with deb and act00 –– the difference between date and hang out may be significant to her, and she's waiting for you to ask her on a proper date. My suggestion would be to plan a date that requires some effort on your part, perhaps reservations, etc. such that both asking and flaking would be more significant. When she accepts, let her know that this a big deal to you.. I disagree. Grown women want proper dates & want to see effort. College girls want to "hang out". Proper dates scare the bejezzus out of them. She may only like the OP as a friend or she may not be willing to make the effort off campus during summer. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I disagree. Grown women want proper dates & want to see effort. College girls want to "hang out". Proper dates scare the bejezzus out of them. She may only like the OP as a friend or she may not be willing to make the effort off campus during summer. She's 24. I also don't think such sweeping generalizations are valid, certainly not true of all. The idea is to get her into a commitment that she can't cancel so easily. Maybe she'll decline the offer, but if he doesn't change something, it is what it is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marshawn Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply, i really appreciate it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Just say, how come you flake out when I ask you out? I want to see you before my deployment June 26. What would you like to do? Dinner and a movie? Something else? My treat. You pick the date. If she says no, or she doesn't respond, forget her. Link to post Share on other sites
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