Found out he asked out a relative before me..And other red flags

[Evanni]

My family owns and run a bakery. There is this one regular customer who I've known for almost a year now, but I only started liking him in January and I guess the feeling is mutual because my family would always tell me how he would always ask about me when he comes in and sees that I'm not at work. Since I went back to school, I haven't been working so we haven't seen each other for months until recently... which is when he finally asked for my number and asked me out on a date.

 

1st date went well, and he contacted me days later to set up a 2nd date. I was really excited until my aunt told me that she met him a couple months ago in our bakery and that he asked her out to dinner (I'm 28, he's 38, my aunt is 40). I don't even know what to think right now. He knows this a family-run bakery so obviously I am related to her. If he was showing interest in me before, why would he go ask out my aunt (she turned him down because she's married), then months later ask ME out as if it's nothing.

 

I'm probably just overreacting because we've only been on one date so far, but I've like this guy for so long and the thought of him even being attracted enough to my aunt to ask her to dinner just makes me upset. And this only gets me to thinking about does he do this often with women he just met? He tells me he travels a lot, and he is always going out every weekend. I can't help but to think that maybe he is a serial dater.. On one hand, I know it is completely normal for people to go on multiple dates before they decide they want to date someone exclusively. But on the other hand, I'm just worried if I see him anymore, I'll just like him more and eventually he'll run into my aunt again and the thought is just plain weird. Should I even ask him about why he asked my aunt out? Should I leave it alone and date him some more and see where this goes? Or am I better off not seeing him anymore?

[preraph]

I wouldn't rule him out because of that. She may have been outgoing with him and he took it as flirty so he asked her out. But sounds like he likes you the most. Anyway, unless you go out with him and he starts flirting with your relatives or friends, I wouldn't let that one incident ruin it for me. You hadn't gone out yet.

[d0nnivain]

It's a little off putting that he asked out your aunt but under the circumstances you describe maybe I could get past it. It sounds as though he liked you, didn't ask you out, asked her out as the 2nd choice & then came back to you, his 1st choice which is why I might let it slide.

 

 

You do need to assume that you are not the only woman he is dating. Do not have sex until you establish monogamy & exclusivity. He's definitely a flirty boy, which IMO is different then a player but it might not be different in your mind. If his gregarious nature will bother you & make you insecure at the very least fasten your seatbelt because he is definitely outgoing, especially if he travels for business.

[kendahke]

I'd take a pass on him.

 

He could have asked your aunt to give you his number if he was that interested, but he didn't do that. He made a play for your aunt first, then came to you second, despite how he acted when you were in the shop. To me, I'd think that he was angling to get next to my aunt and using me as a means to accomplish that.

[mortensorchid]

Well this is a new one...

 

I would not be too ... Excited about this. He's looking to be sure, but could he be one of those who just asks out every woman in his path?