samsmith12 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 My girlfriend and I have been together nearly 7 months. When we first met it was great and we got on well. She was (and still is) a very different type of girl to whom I would normally be attracted to. She was the most caring and thoughtful girl and I knew I would regret it if I never asked her out so, I did. As the relationship has gone on I have begun to realise how different we are. For example she is very keen on getting lots of piercings and tattoos however I am not really attracted to that. We listen to very different music, we are of different religions and she lives almost an hour drive away from me so the distance is becoming quite difficult. We are both about to start university however we are not going to the same one. I am worried that we will not be able to last while at different universities (which are a far distance from one another). Whenever I have asked her thoughts on the distance she says that she loves me and is 100% willing to make it work. I am too however I am not sure I am able to live my life for 4 years where I will only be able to see my girlfriend maybe once or twice every month. She is very sensitive and I know she cares about me loads. If I were to end things, I know she will be distraught and I can't bear the idea of hurting her. I love her but the distance, along with our differences is making me think twice about the relationship. Any advice, be it small or large is greatly appreciated.
mightycpa Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 When going your separate ways by choice of one person, hurt is a given. Don't be afraid of that, and don't think she can't handle it. All you have to do is be sure about your decision before you make it, and firm in your decision after.
d0nnivain Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 A bunch of strangers on the internet can't tell you how to live your life. It's one thing if there is actual abuse going on but here when the issue is more about distance & growing up only you & she can make the decision. LDRs are very difficult. Very few survive the first few months of college. Both of you will have whole new worlds to explore. Many people do not want to remain tied to their HS sweethearts. There is nothing wrong or bad about your relationship. The differences might even make things more interesting (unless her tattoos & piercings totally turn you off) but only you can know what is best for you at the point. There are no right or wrong answers. If you do decide to break up please do so gently, but clearly. Don't ghost & don't be mean.
preraph Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 It sounds like you're both just at that age when you're both changing and it's going in different directions. That's common at your age. If she's all into all that body maiming, she'll be gravitating to that crowd, and you're not so this will become a wedge. I think it's a shame that's the type thing she's exploring instead of the world at large, but you can't stop anyone from doing it. It's usually good to be single in college. So if you're thinking you're not that similar anyway and losing interest, this is as good a time as any to break up. Chances are you'll both be meeting a lot of new people.
RustCohle Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 Long Distance Relationships are bad, very bad. You have nothing to gain from it eventually. Also you have limited view on things. "She was the most" is the typical sentence, a person with limited options, gives. She is not unique there are so many women out there who can give you the same if not more "thoughtfulness" as this girl. I believe you are afraid because of scarcity mentality much more than hurting her. End it in a nice way and she'll understand. Tell her "I can't do LDR and never will. I love you and I want you to be happy. Don't cling on me, move on with your life". She'll appreciate this BUT follow up with it and stick with. Don't start texting from afar. Cut communications slowly. Tell her you are busy and occassionaly don't respond at all if she sends too much. Eventually she'll get the point and she'll stop or find a new guy. If you ever find yourselves near again hit her up on social media or text with "how's it going?" Tell her to come to your place and if she is up for it be sexual. That's the best you can get. But don't count on it.
Whodatdog Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 LDRs take a lot of work and time, time that you both will need to be devoting to studies. The distance,and the differences you mention, will eventually cause a break up. I think its inevitable. The only question is do you break up before you go to college, or wait until you are both at school.
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