M3ll0 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I been in love with my highschool sweethearts since the moment I saw him. In 2015, things became rocky due to too many circumstances. I got pregnant and he wanted an abortion. I was devastated because I thought our relationship can overcome anything that comes our way but he just didn't want it due to money issues. So then I got arrested in April because I was in his car waiting for him to get out work late at night and the police found illegal substance in the car. I went to jail for a day and I was waiting for him to bail me out but the system did because it was my first offense. My parents told me he didn't even call. So I was 2 weeks probation but for those two weeks he went to Amsterdam with his best friend on a cruise that he paid for prior to all of this and met an older women. He wrote to her three months later in an email that he fell in love and I broke up with him for like a week. That week I was talking to someone else because I needed someone and he was there for me but we didn't reconnect until later on. In 2016, my ex decided to make some money by marrying a family friend and bringing her into this country. When he told me he wanted to do this I was upset because I would have to leave him alone for 2 years. They would have to live together to make it legit. I was just so ****ing heart broken that I gave up and told him the truth if he does that I will leave for good. I started talking to my best friend and we became closer. We would go to trips out of town just to see what's new in the theme parks and I was enjoying my time with him. I soon began cheating and feeling wrong about it because I was hurting both people. I tried to stop talking to my best friend but I couldnt. Now my ex found out two weeks ago for the past year I been with him and he left me. I started the no contact rule immediately and he called me in a week trying to talk to me be a friend and such. Then 2 days later we went to the park and had sex, the best sex we ever had. He said he is here because he loves me and wants to build trust. He wants to be here as a friend for now. He rather be with me then with a random women. he wants to have sex alot and to me I just want him back. Our relationship is so ****ed up but I know that I only cheated because I resented him. Now he's hot and cold with me. He just wants to be friends but he's affectionate. I just want to fix this. Should I go back to the no contact rule even though he just wants to be friends. I love him being here but he's not fully here. What should I do.
Zahara Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 You sound young OP and you are making some really bad decisions for your life. You need to stay away from this guy and move on from him. He's used you from day one and it's unfortunate that you choose not to accept it. And yes, he is again using you, and for sex. He does not love you nor does he value you. The day you were in jail while he was traveling and having fun was the day you should have left him. He clearly has no care for you. Please seek counselling and help. You are in a very unhealthy mindset. This obsession for a man that treats you poorly is toxic.
Author M3ll0 Posted June 5, 2017 Author Posted June 5, 2017 Thanks I know he did. It just ****ing hurts. I don't know how to cope with this new transition of life. Which is why I'm here again to deal with this same relationship. You sound young OP and you are making some really bad decisions for your life. You need to stay away from this guy and move on from him. He's used you from day one and it's unfortunate that you choose not to accept it. And yes, he is again using you, and for sex. He does not love you nor does he value you. The day you were in jail while he was traveling and having fun was the day you should have left him. He clearly has no care for you. Please seek counselling and help. You are in a very unhealthy mindset. This obsession for a man that treats you poorly is toxic.
Zahara Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Thanks I know he did. It just ****ing hurts. I don't know how to cope with this new transition of life. Which is why I'm here again to deal with this same relationship. Well, the hurt you feel from ending with him is temporary. You'll one day move on from him. The pain you will feel staying with him will be indefinite, prolonging and damaging. It already has damaged you immensely. You cope by blocking him from any form of contact. You lean on your friends and family and push through the pain. You seek counselling to help you manage your emotions and reframe your way of thinking because right now, your perception of what is right and wrong is completely warped. Your self-esteem is broken. You see little value in yourself. So, any form of attention from this guy makes you feel loved and valued. Unfortunately, he does not care for you.
Author M3ll0 Posted June 5, 2017 Author Posted June 5, 2017 I ended up paying for the abortion by myself. He didn't go through with the marriage. He is 25 and I'm 24. He been faithful to me since 2016 to 2017 He been going out with his friends more and although he ask me to come he rather be alone with his friends. My bestfriend treated me better emotionally and physically both before and after this breakup now he's waiting for my decision.
Zahara Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I ended up paying for the abortion by myself. He didn't go through with the marriage. He 25 and I'm 24. He been faithful to me since 2016 to 2017 He been going out with his friends more and although he ask me to come he rather be alone with his friends. My bestfriend treated me better emotionally and physically both before and after this breakup now he's waiting for my decision. Leave him.
Redhead14 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I been in love with my highschool sweethearts since the moment I saw him. In 2015, things became rocky due to too many circumstances. I got pregnant and he wanted an abortion. I was devastated because I thought our relationship can overcome anything that comes our way but he just didn't want it due to money issues. So then I got arrested in April because I was in his car waiting for him to get out work late at night and the police found illegal substance in the car. I went to jail for a day and I was waiting for him to bail me out but the system did because it was my first offense. My parents told me he didn't even call. So I was 2 weeks probation but for those two weeks he went to Amsterdam with his best friend on a cruise that he paid for prior to all of this and met an older women. He wrote to her three months later in an email that he fell in love and I broke up with him for like a week. That week I was talking to someone else because I needed someone and he was there for me but we didn't reconnect until later on. In 2016, my ex decided to make some money by marrying a family friend and bringing her into this country. When he told me he wanted to do this I was upset because I would have to leave him alone for 2 years. They would have to live together to make it legit. I was just so ****ing heart broken that I gave up and told him the truth if he does that I will leave for good. I started talking to my best friend and we became closer. We would go to trips out of town just to see what's new in the theme parks and I was enjoying my time with him. I soon began cheating and feeling wrong about it because I was hurting both people. I tried to stop talking to my best friend but I couldnt. Now my ex found out two weeks ago for the past year I been with him and he left me. I started the no contact rule immediately and he called me in a week trying to talk to me be a friend and such. Then 2 days later we went to the park and had sex, the best sex we ever had. He said he is here because he loves me and wants to build trust. He wants to be here as a friend for now. He rather be with me then with a random women. he wants to have sex alot and to me I just want him back. Our relationship is so ****ed up but I know that I only cheated because I resented him. Now he's hot and cold with me. He just wants to be friends but he's affectionate. I just want to fix this. Should I go back to the no contact rule even though he just wants to be friends. I love him being here but he's not fully here. What should I do. Leave him immediately! This is not a relationship, it's a toxic one at best. Build trust???? There's nothing to build on. There isn't even a basic foundation for that. If you're best friend came to you with this story, what would you tell her. I'll never understand how a woman can allow herself to be treated like this or treat herself this way. He just wants to be friends but he's affectionate -- Well, even he knows it's hard to have sex with a woman if he's not at least affectionate. He wants his cake and eat it to. Shove it up his -- you know what!
Author M3ll0 Posted June 5, 2017 Author Posted June 5, 2017 I just feel like it's all my fault and I don't have no friends which why I am on here pouring out my soul. I'm the one who cheated. We was planning to go to mexico to get married and I ruined it. Idk what I am doing. I feel like I'm not living right now.
Zahara Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I just feel like it's all my fault and I don't have no friends which why I am on here pouring out my soul. I'm the one who cheated. We was planning to go to mexico to get married and I ruined it. Idk what I am doing. I feel like I'm not living right now. He met an older woman while he was with you and fell in love with her. You then broke up with him. Stop with the self-blame. You were planning to get married? Again, you need counselling and help emotionally and mentally. Your thinking is completely warped. Until you learn to love yourself, you're going to stay in dysfunction and allow yourself to be treated poorly.
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