Stopme Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 OK, I have been separated for over 12 months, about to get the divorce thing happening . I met this guy about six months ago, he had just come out of something and didn't want a relationship. Not sure I did either but we really enjoyed each others company and had great sex:p. This friends with benefits thing was OK for a while but I ended things about a month ago as I was not feeling OK with being a booty call. There is no contact at all with him. I don't want to contact him as he doesn't want what I want, that is to be in a relationship. I just want to know how to stop thinking about him. I have been dating other guys but that isn't working because I'm too emotional about him. I'm probably not ready for a relationship myself but I don't do friends with benefits. I could just stay alone and do other things that doesn't involve dating but I get lonely, I am not good alone, never have been. Anyway, i'm venting really but any advice would be good.
preraph Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 You said you don't like being alone, so you're just grabbing the first guy that came along. Of course, that isn't going to be a good way to meet the right man, so you've got to grow up a little and learn to slow down and have standards and do without sometimes. You're extra vulnerable now because of coming divorce. You really, in my opinion, should be going on a man moratorium and for once in your life, be on your own and learn to like it and learn to be confident about taking care of yourself and being with yourself so that when you do choose a man, you are doing it from a more mature and stronger position.
Lilyana76 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I am much like you, I hated being alone. I was married for 20 years. Being alone was something I had never been before. I realized though, that if I couldn't be alone and happy, I would latch on to the first guy that gave me a little affection. I didn't want to be with someone just to avoid being alone. I want to be with someone who truly loves me and wants to be with me. Someone who will be my teammate, friend and lover. I started doing stuff for ME. Joining groups and clubs to learn something new and meet new people. Going to movies and shows alone. Just be with you, learn about you. Spend time with just yourself, and enjoy being just you. The right one will come along when you learn more about what the right one is for you. Reaching out to someone just because you don't want to be alone, is the worst way to start anything. It will go no where. Have fun just being YOU. 6
smackie9 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Anything looks good on the menu when you are trying to fill the void (loneliness). What helps is not other men but doing things for yourself like getting involved with a new hobby, interest, make new friends, reunite with old ones, etc. Start filling your calendar with fun activities. A man doesn't define your happiness, you do.
dangerous Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 As others have said, work on yourself. Get social with other female friends, and mixed groups. By all means date but just get to know people and see who you get on with, be open minded, enjoy their company, and in time you will find someone compatible. 1
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