Murali_14 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Hey, so been dating this girl for a month and a half and have been on 4 dates since then (three of them initiated by her). She has been the one to initiate contact over texts or calls since day one so I assume that shows a high interest level.. the conversations after our last date were also fun and engaging. So I asked her out last Sunday but she unfortunately had other plans so couldn`t meet up, she rescheduled it to this week and I was fine with it. A week passed, we chat over texts, everything is going fine, Sunday comes and she sends a text asking if the plan can be cancelled as she had to work the whole weekend due to tight deadlines the coming week.. I got pissed and said that I was sorry that she has to work during weekends too, and that I dont like repeated cancellations of plans to meet up. Did not get a reply for sometime, but eventually got it.. said she cant give up work as it was her responsibility to finish it in time and hoped I`d get that, she said she has been very busy with work lately and that she did not like my reaction to top it off.. I took some time to think it through and apologized to her for reacting that way, and told her that I had special plans for the meeting this time, I was really looking forward to meeting her and I was disappointed as a result. She said "Hey no problem forget it".. I asked her if we`re fine now.. She said not really as she needs some time to get back to normal and cool off after the argument. Have not heard from her in a day and a half.. too late to fix?? what should I do now?.... I am putting my hopes on the fact that she was the one who was more interested in me and that she might give a chance if I play it right...
Whodatdog Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 You handled that really badly. She won't want a repeat of your attitude, so I dont know if she will get back with you or not. Her job is more important than you are, its her livelihood. She can't screw it up. A little maturity on your part would do you a lot of good. 5
amazonrambo Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 She sensed your weakness and you failed her test. I know because I've made this mistake countless times before.. Best way to learn from this in the future is always assume a rejection like this is a "test" and that she's testing your strength. If you accept it and move on, there's a possibility she'll come back to you and if not, you find a girl who's better for you anyway.
Lilyana76 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 She didn't flake on you, she explained to you her work issues, and you took it poorly. At this point I would give her some space to cool down, and let her reach out to you if she decides to do so. Next time, breathe before responding, don't let your initial reaction be the one you put out there. Be calm and rational, say ok lets do it another day, and let it go. I understand not wanting to reschedule all the time, but you also have to understand that some times, sh*t happens. You've had 4 other dates with her, did she have a habit of rescheduling those or is this the first time this has happened? Best of luck!
Author Murali_14 Posted June 5, 2017 Author Posted June 5, 2017 Should I send a bigger apology stating that this wont happen again or will it only make matters worse??
ExpatInItaly Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 You already apologized. You could let her know you would like to make it up to her by taking her for lunch/ice cream/glass of wine if she is interested, and leave it at that. There might not be much you can do, just as there might not be much she can do if work is particularly busy for her right now. I can understand you being disappointed but getting huffy the way you did was unnecessary. This one's in her hands now.
Author Murali_14 Posted June 5, 2017 Author Posted June 5, 2017 You've had 4 other dates with her, did she have a habit of rescheduling those or is this the first time this has happened? Nope has been very punctual in setting up dates, I just dont know why I acted like a jerk this time..
J21 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 If she alreay made up her mind it's already done. Repeated apologies isn't really gonna change anything 1
Lilyana76 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Send no more apologies right now. Let her cool down and come to you. Chalk this up as a lesson learned. Hopefully she will reach out to you soon, but don't be surprised if she doesn't. You know you over reacted, she might see it as a possible temper problem that she doesn't want to deal with. She may also chalk it up to nothing, and reach out to you soon. But it's up to her, another apology will do nothing for you. Give her time. 3
smackie9 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 This is what it's going to be like when you start to get serious...can you handle her cancelling plans and working weekends? This won't be the last time. Something to think about. 1
kendahke Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 So I asked her out last Sunday but she unfortunately had other plans so couldn`t meet up, she rescheduled it to this week and I was fine with it. A week passed, we chat over texts, everything is going fine, Sunday comes and she sends a text asking if the plan can be cancelled as she had to work the whole weekend due to tight deadlines the coming week.. From what you've written, she only cancelled one time. You asked her and she told you she had other plans. Nothing was agreed upon yet--she wasn't available when you asked--that's not cancelling. You basically blew up over one cancellation. If there were other things going on that were turning her off, this sealed that deal. There is no fixing this. I'd just move on if I was you. 1
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