Popsicle Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I know some women do but is this something some men suffer from as well? Not looking for conjecture here, looking for actual cases.
Els Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Of course some men do. Not sure what sort of examples you're looking for, but I've definitely known a few men who fear the thought of being completely alone. It's a normal and human fear. 5
Fresnite Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I'm young and I have that fear. I'm still trying to find out what is wrong with me, I seem to find amazing woman who I am attracted to and I like their personality, and they always think I'm cute and I do good in the beginning, but for whatever reason i ruin it by coming off too strong or being pushy, or repeating myself. So yeah I fear being alone cause I can't seem to shake my bad habit of not being able to keep someone. I can get them and if you read my other posts, think I had what 3 or 4 "new" girlfriends within past month lol? 1
basil67 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Having people who care about us is a basic human need. 8
Author Popsicle Posted June 5, 2017 Author Posted June 5, 2017 I spent the WHOLE WEEKEND consoling two women I know who both just went through a breakup. They mostly just could not believe that they had no man to be with this weekend. They have never been alone and they were at a loss for what to do with thenselves without a man. I wondered if men experience this too.
d0nnivain Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Read the various posts by lonely confused guys on here. That fear is universal not gender specific. However, women are "allowed" to talk about it. Society expects men to be fearless about all things & not discuss emotion. 7
Bastile Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Society expects men to be fearless about all things & not discuss emotion. Actually, modern society expects men to communicate and be understood by feminine standards. I have no fear of being alone, and I don't operate from that basis. Hence, I have been called things like "commitmentphobe" in younger years, which really screwed with my head. I do want the best possible relationships that I'm capable of. But I've no interest in cultivating them based on this particular issue at all. 2
JuneJulySeptember Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 (edited) I spent the WHOLE WEEKEND consoling two women I know who both just went through a breakup. They mostly just could not believe that they had no man to be with this weekend. They have never been alone and they were at a loss for what to do with thenselves without a man. I wondered if men experience this too. In my opinion and experience, it's definitely less so than women. I can name 4-5 guys off the top of my head who really aren't social whatsoever, have never had a girlfriend, and have no problem occupying their free time with themselves. OTOH, I cannot think of a single female who lives a life of a solitary loner. I definitely know ones that do not date, but they are not complete loners. There's more social pressure on females to socialize. I'm not to the extreme of those guys, but I'm definitely a loner. I could spend a month's worth of weekends by myself no problem and would enjoy it. Edited June 5, 2017 by JuneJulySeptember 1
mikeylo Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Everyone needs a loving and caring partner to spend life with. Some would partner up with anyone despite incompatibilities while some choose to stay alone till the right fit comes along. The former has fear to be alone while the latter isn't but would still want one. It's not gender based. 1
umirano Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Everyone needs a loving and caring partner to spend life with. Not true. Better to be single than in a *****ty relationship. I know a guy who had kids with a woman, got divorced and was single ever since (his early thirties). He's now 60. A truly happy man. 5
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Definitely not gender specific. My mom and I were just discussing this last night. I recently ended a 10 month relationship with a man who hates being alone. On the other hand, I never get lonely and there was a lot of pressure on me to spend all of my available free time with him, which is hard since I have two children 50% of the time. I'm an introvert and love being by myself. I'm never bored. (I'm also self employed so there's always work to do). I can't speak for everyone, but what my mom and I were talking about last night was that (in my world anyway) women have deep emotional connections with other women, and very often men don't have that with other men unless they are gay and in a romantic relationship. Men get that emotional connection from women they are in romantic relationships with, so to me it is logical they'd be more lonely. I know waaaaayyyy more men who "can't" be alone than I know women who "can't" be. I definitely disagree with the poster who said all people need a partner to spend life with. Some genuinely don't. 1
carhill Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Do men have fear of being alone? I did when young, if you mean in the mating sense, but that was more programming/social pressure than any intrinsic fight or flight fear. Now I write it off to being young, impressionable and generally dumb. As I matured, I grew to enjoy being alone and just ignored humans who denigrated that choice. I know some women do but is this something some men suffer from as well?No doubt. We're all different. Not looking for conjecture here, looking for actual cases. I can share that very few, like just a couple fingers on one hand few, men in my social circle have been alone for any length of time. By that I mean more than a couple months max. When they've divorced, they had a new lady in hand before the divorce was final. Same with relationships. They moved from one to the next. Most were married the first time prior to or shortly after graduating high school. Started families young. Divorced, generally, young. Remarried with varying success. I've been alone since divorcing about seven years ago. No fear. A bit of sadness, sure. That's just residual programming from parents who were married from life. It's fading with time. 2
Shining One Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I spent the WHOLE WEEKEND consoling two women I know who both just went through a breakup. They mostly just could not believe that they had no man to be with this weekend. They have never been alone and they were at a loss for what to do with thenselves without a man. I wondered if men experience this too.I imagine anyone who has never been alone will have trouble adjusting to being alone. Those who have spent significant amounts of time single will have an easier adjustment. Personally, I don't know any men who have never been alone.Do men have a fear of being alone?Yes. I had this fear for a good portion of my early adulthood. Ironically, I didn't start having success with women until after I got rid of this fear. 1
GunslingerRoland Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 My wife and I broke up for a time when we were dating, and I definitely feared the idea of being alone. Although not to the extreme of your friends. From what I've seen though, men are even more likely than women to jump right into another relationship after a divorce, so I don't think this is a gender based problem. 1
Jj66 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Yes they do. If they don't, they should. Scientific studies show single men don't live as long. 3
Shanex Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I love solitude. I socialize on occasions but have been enjoying my free time and being left to my thought forever. Part of it is having been raised by separated parents and having no siblings. In fact it's the contrary, I am not seeing myself living with someone despite my age. I need space. 1
caveman621 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Yes. I do anyway. After getting out of a 25 year marriage I do have that fear. I have a girlfriend I love and we plan to marry and that is so wonderful. 1
SammySammy Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I have no fear of being alone. None. I'm totally at peace and comfortable when I'm alone. 1
umirano Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Yes they do. If they don't, they should. Scientific studies show single men don't live as long. Quality over quantity 1
thefooloftheyear Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Nah....No fear....I spend most of my day talking and interacting with people I don't necessarily want to, so I cherish my alone time... I was always a bit of a lone wolf, even as a little kid..Plus, I am a tinkerer...I'm constantly working on and creating/building stuff...I have a really terrific workshop and it keeps me busy ...I also love music and the quiet outdoors and can spend hours upon hours in solitude..Even my exercise regimen is something I primarily do alone... That being said, I do like being wanted and loved by others.....I do want people to care about me beyond just what I can do for them, lend them, or help them...I think people just assume that I am so strong and resolute that I never need it...And I complain about nothing so no one knows what's going on in my head..I'm fortunate to have what I need from those who really matter and care...I am eternally thankful for that... I guess it just depends on the guy, because I have friends that are truly lost without someone/woman in their lives.. TFY 2
JustGettingBy Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I don't fear being alone in the short term, but I definitely fear being alone as in never having anyone. 1
The Urbanyst Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I don't fear being alone at all. I've gone long periods being single and loved it. To me, the worst thing about being single is everyone assuming you don't want to be and acting like you need help or have a problem. Its almost annoying enough to make you date someone just to shut people up lol. 3
preraph Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 People who fear being alone for even a short time make terrible and sudden decisions and end up in unbalanced relationships a lot. 3
Woggle Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 I love my one in a million kind of marriage but if I didn't have that I would have no issue being alone. I pretty much raised myself and thrived while single and I can do it again if need be. 1
carhill Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 One fear could be giving in to the dark side. Women tend to be a stabilizing influence in that regard. All that home and hearth and soft cuddly love give a man a reason to come home and not go off on some crusade 3
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