Poutrew Posted June 13, 2017 Posted June 13, 2017 There is a reason she doesn't want to be in bed with you. The cat is just a convenient excuse to cut that time in half. Now, if when she is in your bed she doesn't want to have sex, or comes up with flimsy excuses to stay away from you, I'd suspect she is getting her loving from another source, and it's not the cat. I know if it were me, I'd straight out tell her you don't need her in your bed at all. As a matter of fact, the neighborhood divorcee who lives down the street will volunteer to stand in for her, so she could get more pussy time ( ) with tabby. If she is agreeable, then go out and have some fun.
todreaminblue Posted June 13, 2017 Posted June 13, 2017 sleeping with cats is a nightmare literally for me....because they end up on my face and i end up with cat hair in my mouth yuck....i feel sorry for my old cat but i bought him a bed...he is deaf and senile.........and he got pissed with me and has now decided to sleep in the pencil box with scissors and textas instead......contrary animal..... look it isnt right...pets are beautiful couldnt imagine my life without being surrounded by animals..im a bit of an animal whisperer......i am an empath.but animals they should have their place in the heirarchy that is a home.........should never usurp the human presence.....its bad ....if they do...so talk to her....and let her know how you feel...after all....your marriage should come first.....you made compromises getting a cat you didnt even want...its her turn now....deb
lucy_in_disguise Posted June 13, 2017 Posted June 13, 2017 Odd situation indeed! I love animals but can't relate to the school of thought that loving them means they must sleep in your bed. I am allergic to cats and would never compromise on that. Why does she think the cat needs to sleep with her? Clearly it's doing fine on its own if it sleeps alone half the week. I think taking the cat back to the shelter is going to cause some major resentment, but at the same time, this set-up is totally ridiculous. Have you expressed how much this is hurting you and your concerns it will harm your marriage? What does she say in response? I feel like she isn't really hearing you. Could you compromise by both of you giving the cat more attention, including cuddles, in the evening before you go to bed?
Author JoeBumble Posted June 13, 2017 Author Posted June 13, 2017 Odd situation indeed! I love animals but can't relate to the school of thought that loving them means they must sleep in your bed. I am allergic to cats and would never compromise on that. Why does she think the cat needs to sleep with her? Clearly it's doing fine on its own if it sleeps alone half the week. I think taking the cat back to the shelter is going to cause some major resentment, but at the same time, this set-up is totally ridiculous. Have you expressed how much this is hurting you and your concerns it will harm your marriage? What does she say in response? I feel like she isn't really hearing you. Could you compromise by both of you giving the cat more attention, including cuddles, in the evening before you go to bed? Thanks for your response. I'll try to answer a few of the questions I am seeing. Initially I was against a cat because on of our dogs (female) would probably tear the cat apart if she ever got a hold of it. As a result the cat has to stay upstairs. I like all our pets but like you I don't equate that with allowing them in our bed. I don't have a cat allergy but I don't like the hair. To me a couple's bed is just that a space for the couple. The world intrudes on a couple's space enough and that is one area that is off limits to everyone and everything else. It is where we are intimate and can be with each other exclusively. The obvious exception to that was our kids when they were little (sick, the occasional bad dream etc.) People who want to sleep with their dogs and cats can do what they like. To me it is our space period. I have explained this to here a couple times now, and she insists that it isn't about me. We're at a bit of an impasse.
Mrs. John Adams Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 After 30 years of marriage you certainly know how to compromise....and this is one of those times when you are going to have to compromise. I have had a cat or two...in the house for the last 26 years....in addition to the barn cats who stay outside. Any cat i have ever had in the house...sleeps in our bed. They always sleep next to me or at my feet. They also seem to have a sense of "when" to come to bed...if you get my drift. I tell you these things because I think you already know the answer to your problem. She is not going to give up her cat...and she really should not have to. Nor should you have to give up your wife every other night. First...you know you have to tell her you miss her and you really want her in your bed...and if that means allowing the cat to sleep with her...you are willing to compromise. But set your boundaries...I dont want the cat on my side of the bed...I dont want the cat in the bed if we are having sex.... You know you both can work this out and be happy...you might even grow to love the cat. I am an animal person...and i am so thankful my honey allows me to have pets that make me happy. My guess is...your wife wants a baby to love and cuddle. She wants a baby that loves her back...and sometimes as moms...when our kids move away...we need to have an animal baby to love and spoil. I wish you the best of luck.
Author JoeBumble Posted June 14, 2017 Author Posted June 14, 2017 sleeping with cats is a nightmare literally for me....because they end up on my face and i end up with cat hair in my mouth yuck....i feel sorry for my old cat but i bought him a bed...he is deaf and senile.........and he got pissed with me and has now decided to sleep in the pencil box with scissors and textas instead......contrary animal..... look it isnt right...pets are beautiful couldnt imagine my life without being surrounded by animals..im a bit of an animal whisperer......i am an empath.but animals they should have their place in the heirarchy that is a home.........should never usurp the human presence.....its bad ....if they do...so talk to her....and let her know how you feel...after all....your marriage should come first.....you made compromises getting a cat you didnt even want...its her turn now....deb Thank you.
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