Real36 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 (edited) I've been doing pretty good today. My friends came over and I talked a lot of stuff out. But a few minutes ago he tagged a bunch of our mutual friends in a post on FB that came up. I unfriended him the night of the break up. I knew this might happen but there are so many mutual friends it's hard to unfollow/unfriend everyone. There was supposed to be a party on my deck tonight but that obviously didn't happen. The caption said how much fun he was having with hashtags of #single again #bachelorlife. It hurt to the core. I'm having a hard time now. I feel like I should deactivate FB for a while but I don't really want to need to do that. I might just block him. Anyone have a suggestion? Edited June 5, 2017 by Real36
Marc878 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Yep cut it off you'll figure out a Facebook face is BS anyway. You don't need it. 2
springy Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I deactivated my fb account for a very long time after a hard breakup. It was probably one of the best things I did. Just take a long fb vacation. 2
PegNosePete Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 there are so many mutual friends it's hard to unfollow/unfriend everyone. Are these really mutual friends or just people you're both facebook friends with? If the latter then just delete them all. You don't need to be facebook friends with anyone you're not real life friends with. It's not hard to unfriend people, it takes about 2 minutes to load up your friend list and click "unfriend" a few times. While you're at it, delete anyone else who is not a real life friend or family. I might just block him. Why are you even thinking about this? Just do it, like yesterday. It's not worth the brain power thinking about doing it. Just do it. 1
EdeeMX Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 This was almost similar to my last relationship.. It's better for you to be the one to block him! If you do like having any type of social media account..don't feel pressured to be the one to delete your account. If you guys have mutual friends it's gonna always be inevitable to hear something from him or maybe possibly see him. And plus one advantage of you blocking him first would be that if you ever just randomly feel like seeing his account, you can unblock him. (Even if he has most of his profile private) But if he blocks you.. You won't ever be able to snoop around. I know that the whole idea is to not know about him anymore.. But to me for example, I wonder how he's doing now. I guess curiosity.
Author Real36 Posted June 5, 2017 Author Posted June 5, 2017 I blocked him. For my own sanity, I just can't see another post like that. 5
Maldives Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Don't believe his bs for a minute. Know he did it on purpose. How do I know ? There's clues written all over it. He knows uve unfriended him but not blocked him so he knows by tagging mutual friends u will see his post and writes something he knows is gonna hurt u. My ex did this a quiet a bit till I stopped playing that game. Block him 1
GeekLover Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 First and formost, know that you need to take those posts with a grain of salt. He posted those hashtags on purpose, hoping you would see them. I don't know why some dumpers feel the need to rub more salt in the wound, but they do. In my opinion, it's his way of fooling himself into believing he actually feels this way so it makes it easier on him. Nobody (unless they are a sociopath) would feel happy after a break up. Even someone who was really unhappy in the relationship, or went through abuse or cheating wouldn't feel "happy" about the relationship ending to the point where they need to broadcast it on social media. Relief? Yes. But not happiness...at least not right away like that. I've finally learned that what you see on social media is most likely not the whole picture anyway. It's all speculation. Second, you need to either control your urges to go on any social media platforms you know he's on (tough...I know), or if you know you'll struggle with that, I suggest deactivating for awhile until you're strong enough to run into posts like that and have it not bother you. Better yet...you want to be able to have a little giggle over them! 1
Author Real36 Posted June 6, 2017 Author Posted June 6, 2017 His post humiliated me and 64 people loved/liked something so mean spirited and tacky. Many of them were my "friends". I've never in my life felt so rejected, unattractive, of unwanted. I hate knowing that I was unwanted for so long and didn't really know it. I feel so stupid for putting so much work into it and believing the bull**** that he said. I'm 35. I've spent most of my life single and thought that he might be the one. How dumb was I? Its very possible that I just might be alone for the rest of my life. He definitely did the right thing by ending the relationship but celebrating publicly is pretty evil. He knew I'd see the post and that it would hurt me. I just couldn't imagine doing that to someone.
PegNosePete Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 Many of them were my "friends". Yes there are certain times when you really find out who your real friends are. This is one of them. I'm 35. ... Its very possible that I just might be alone for the rest of my life. Plenty of people meet their partner or spouse after that age. My partner was 41 when we met. Many even later. But don't worry about that for now, just think about yourself and look after yourself. There is plenty of time for finding a new partner later on. Concentrate on your own life, and finding happiness. Do things that make you happy. Go on holiday, take up a new hobby, meet new friends.
elaine567 Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 YOU only split up 3 days ago so there is a limit to how much "fun" he is really having... FB is full of people having "fun" and making a big deal out of it on FB, but I guess a lot of them are crying into their coffee in reality so take it all with a pinch of salt. It latterly wasn't a happy relationship for you, so use that info to help you heal. You're 35 not 85, you have plenty of time to find someone special. btw even 85yos can often find someone too, so it is never too late... 1
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