Withoutaqueen Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 Gosh where do i start? Im a single guy in my thirties living in SE USA. Been that way since MLK day 2010 when my first and only GF dumped me for "i don't love you anymore" mostly due to religious differences (im agnostic). Ironically when i replied to her plenty of fish profile in 2008 one of the reasons i did was it said she was non-religious (she was 18 at the time). Like Bobby Degeneric i have a knack for misperceiving people's words or in this case POF didnt have any options beyond that. But things were fine until her family took a turn for the worse and sge when ultra religious. Not that this should matter but for the purpose of this posting i will reveal i am black and people at times say i dont act like it. My EXGF was too. Since losing her I've loss considerable attraction to black women for several reasons not necessarily related to her because i was attracted to her for her tendacies to go against the stereotype of african americans like sounding as a valley girl but still had that ethnic flair which was a good mix. In short i don't like the way most of them carry themselves lifestyle and mentally and the few i do aren't into me. What i liked about our relationship was her attachment to me, she always wanted to be around me but that made her twin sister jealous and was trying not to damage that relationship but she kept choosing me. Being the youngest of 2 boys no sisters and virtually NEVER having a social life her attachment was refreshing and enlightening. Spending quality intimate time together watching videos online, chatting therapeutically, engaging in constructive projects....when that all came to a sudden end with no replacement in sight, life hasn't felt worth living anymore, and that feeling hasnt changed in the 7 plus years since. I still have NO SOCIAL LIFE outside of work (when i can keep a job), there a few women at my job and those arent my type or taken, i come home to myself; i was living back with my parent until recently. There are no visitors. I try going out but i dont like what i see out there. My personality and mindset is very unique. Im very introverted but desire a small inner social circle of about 2 to 4 friends who also share the same unique personality traits. I like people who are really smart and modest not much into commercial lifestyles of music/celebs/movies the lastest stuff parties clubs and bars but the latter is what over 95% of the population is in saturation. The other 5% is hidden somewhere if they even exist. So i stay home searching online but the same jerks are there too. I feel like a misanthropist in a cynical way. I'm disenchanted with the way most people think and live their lives or what they all want (the same thing). I wish i could organically attract women outside my race or at least a black woman that isn't so blech in her attitude. I see so many non-black women profiles saying "No Black Men" almost never see no white or hispanic. I understand people have their preference but it still sucks in my case. Another reason is with the recent presidential election and in the last couple of years I'm seeing more of a divide in people, less tolerance for the other side. I been moreso neutral to libertarian the last decade which tends to favor me being a liberal. However despite not voting for Trump i like in general what he's doing and dislike what the left is doing to stop him. Now why am i mentioning this? This is also a factor in me finding someone to date. A person that says "if you voted for or support Trump do not reply" is the kind of intolerence im finding. Everyone seems like this. I can't seem to find people who share or tolerate my agnosticism, interracial dating for a black guy, low key introverted lifestyle and reformed liberal to conservative politics. Because in my family both paternal and maternal many people my age aren't married nor have children themselves i see this also being my fate. Not much into pets due to the maintaince, $$$, and respect i have for keep animals in as much natural environment as possible which isn't always in our homes. I'm looking for a modest kind intellectual sweet woman who may be a bit eccentric and awkward. Likes spending quality time, not too much into the commercial lifestyle doesn't mind occasionally being a stick in the mud (laid back) but still have occasional aspirations to go out and explore. I want to start out as friends first with no major pressure for an ltr that leads to marriage but still serious about the mental connection, but i also dont want an NSA With dating sites and real life looking not working (im also a little shy to ask women out because of the awkwardness of asking a complete stranger to hang out with you might be a little creepy, most of them already have boyfriends or husbands anyways), i don't know where to turn to. Maybe this forum will point me in moreso in the right direction.
mikeylo Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 Gosh where do i start? Im a single guy in my thirties living in SE USA. Been that way since MLK day 2010 when my first and only GF dumped me for "i don't love you anymore" mostly due to religious differences (im agnostic). Ironically when i replied to her plenty of fish profile in 2008 one of the reasons i did was it said she was non-religious (she was 18 at the time). Like Bobby Degeneric i have a knack for misperceiving people's words or in this case POF didnt have any options beyond that. But things were fine until her family took a turn for the worse and sge when ultra religious. Not that this should matter but for the purpose of this posting i will reveal i am black and people at times say i dont act like it. My EXGF was too. Since losing her I've loss considerable attraction to black women for several reasons not necessarily related to her because i was attracted to her for her tendacies to go against the stereotype of african americans like sounding as a valley girl but still had that ethnic flair which was a good mix. In short i don't like the way most of them carry themselves lifestyle and mentally and the few i do aren't into me. What i liked about our relationship was her attachment to me, she always wanted to be around me but that made her twin sister jealous and was trying not to damage that relationship but she kept choosing me. Being the youngest of 2 boys no sisters and virtually NEVER having a social life her attachment was refreshing and enlightening. Spending quality intimate time together watching videos online, chatting therapeutically, engaging in constructive projects....when that all came to a sudden end with no replacement in sight, life hasn't felt worth living anymore, and that feeling hasnt changed in the 7 plus years since. I still have NO SOCIAL LIFE outside of work (when i can keep a job), there a few women at my job and those arent my type or taken, i come home to myself; i was living back with my parent until recently. There are no visitors. I try going out but i dont like what i see out there. My personality and mindset is very unique. Im very introverted but desire a small inner social circle of about 2 to 4 friends who also share the same unique personality traits. I like people who are really smart and modest not much into commercial lifestyles of music/celebs/movies the lastest stuff parties clubs and bars but the latter is what over 95% of the population is in saturation. The other 5% is hidden somewhere if they even exist. So i stay home searching online but the same jerks are there too. I feel like a misanthropist in a cynical way. I'm disenchanted with the way most people think and live their lives or what they all want (the same thing). I wish i could organically attract women outside my race or at least a black woman that isn't so blech in her attitude. I see so many non-black women profiles saying "No Black Men" almost never see no white or hispanic. I understand people have their preference but it still sucks in my case. Another reason is with the recent presidential election and in the last couple of years I'm seeing more of a divide in people, less tolerance for the other side. I been moreso neutral to libertarian the last decade which tends to favor me being a liberal. However despite not voting for Trump i like in general what he's doing and dislike what the left is doing to stop him. Now why am i mentioning this? This is also a factor in me finding someone to date. A person that says "if you voted for or support Trump do not reply" is the kind of intolerence im finding. Everyone seems like this. I can't seem to find people who share or tolerate my agnosticism, interracial dating for a black guy, low key introverted lifestyle and reformed liberal to conservative politics. Because in my family both paternal and maternal many people my age aren't married nor have children themselves i see this also being my fate. Not much into pets due to the maintaince, $$$, and respect i have for keep animals in as much natural environment as possible which isn't always in our homes. I'm looking for a modest kind intellectual sweet woman who may be a bit eccentric and awkward. Likes spending quality time, not too much into the commercial lifestyle doesn't mind occasionally being a stick in the mud (laid back) but still have occasional aspirations to go out and explore. I want to start out as friends first with no major pressure for an ltr that leads to marriage but still serious about the mental connection, but i also dont want an NSA With dating sites and real life looking not working (im also a little shy to ask women out because of the awkwardness of asking a complete stranger to hang out with you might be a little creepy, most of them already have boyfriends or husbands anyways), i don't know where to turn to. Maybe this forum will point me in moreso in the right direction. Stop looking. The old cliche: you will find someone when you are not looking , could be in for you. In the meantime, live your life.
preraph Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 Okay, you like politics, such as it is. You hate the media/celeb followers and I get that. It gets silly, just an ever changing parade of 15-minute celebrities. And people who are way into that are probably also way into living beyond their means, I would imagine. So how to find your niche? Well, let's use politics as your stepping off point. Volunteer to help make phone calls and make signs and do social media for a politician of your choice. Contact your local Libertarian or Democratic organizations. Believe me, once you give them your phone number or donate $25, you'll never be lonely again. So next councilman or mayoral or governor election, get involved. There will always be a party at the end of every campaign full of wannabe politicians and they'll talk your ear off. I think you might find an intelligent, unshallow, wellspoken woman in your color of choice at such a party and also making signs. Get on Twitter and start following politicians or organizations of your choice and go to their events. If you want to meet more substantial people, go do that. It's a place to start. You can also volunteer at other things and meet a better class of people, so google your town name and "volunteer" and see what all there is. You only have to do it like once a week or something for a couple of hours. For example, when I volunteered at the zoo, I met everyone from zookeepers to socialites who raise the funds. If you want to meet single mothers, volunteer for that program that dresses underprivileged teens for prom. My friend does that and says it's the best thing she's ever done, and you meet so many people. Also, I attend community meetings with the police, and I'm there to support them. If you are of that mindset, the police (who at least where I live in Dallas are very multicultural) always need support and eyes in the black community and it's been at an all-time low lately. They need it to help catch criminals who are killing blacks. For example, I went to a homicide meeting and we have what may be a random serial killer killing blacks who are just like walking their dog around this one area of apartments that no one has come forward as a witness. Hardly anyone except old out of touch people like me show up at those meetings, so we're no help. But someone with feelers may help just by retweeting a wanted photo out to their friends. Now, I know police aren't for everyone. I used to hate them myself when I was a hippie. But those community meetings are a great place to mingle and meet both police and neighbors who are community minded. So get out there and make a difference and find your people. 2
Author Withoutaqueen Posted June 4, 2017 Author Posted June 4, 2017 Stop looking. The old cliche: you will find someone when you are not looking , could be in for you. In the meantime, live your life. See the that's the thing. I stopped looking for more than a year. Nothing happened. The truth is looking or not looking isn't going to change anything, it's all about exposure. How can anyone find you if you aren't exposed? Think of a celebrity you never heard of? Would you look him or her up? That's essentiall what I am. There is another conflicting cliche out there, it's called "put yourself out there" So which one am I suppose to honor Mikeylo?
Author Withoutaqueen Posted June 4, 2017 Author Posted June 4, 2017 Okay, you like politics, such as it is. You hate the media/celeb followers and I get that. It gets silly, just an ever changing parade of 15-minute celebrities. And people who are way into that are probably also way into living beyond their means, I would imagine. So how to find your niche? Well, let's use politics as your stepping off point. Volunteer to help make phone calls and make signs and do social media for a politician of your choice. Contact your local Libertarian or Democratic organizations. Believe me, once you give them your phone number or donate $25, you'll never be lonely again. So next councilman or mayoral or governor election, get involved. There will always be a party at the end of every campaign full of wannabe politicians and they'll talk your ear off. I think you might find an intelligent, unshallow, wellspoken woman in your color of choice at such a party and also making signs. Get on Twitter and start following politicians or organizations of your choice and go to their events. If you want to meet more substantial people, go do that. It's a place to start. You can also volunteer at other things and meet a better class of people, so google your town name and "volunteer" and see what all there is. You only have to do it like once a week or something for a couple of hours. For example, when I volunteered at the zoo, I met everyone from zookeepers to socialites who raise the funds. If you want to meet single mothers, volunteer for that program that dresses underprivileged teens for prom. My friend does that and says it's the best thing she's ever done, and you meet so many people. Also, I attend community meetings with the police, and I'm there to support them. If you are of that mindset, the police (who at least where I live in Dallas are very multicultural) always need support and eyes in the black community and it's been at an all-time low lately. They need it to help catch criminals who are killing blacks. For example, I went to a homicide meeting and we have what may be a random serial killer killing blacks who are just like walking their dog around this one area of apartments that no one has come forward as a witness. Hardly anyone except old out of touch people like me show up at those meetings, so we're no help. But someone with feelers may help just by retweeting a wanted photo out to their friends. Now, I know police aren't for everyone. I used to hate them myself when I was a hippie. But those community meetings are a great place to mingle and meet both police and neighbors who are community minded. So get out there and make a difference and find your people. Yeah I get what you are saying but I'm not really a political person I'm a spectator, and I don't want to get involved in any kind of activism I just want to use my natural voice and let the govt stay out of our lives. Donating money to politics doesn't help anything at my level, I believe in grassroots campaigning. I will never donate to the Democrats like Jon Ossoff is raking in all of that out of state money to steal Tom Price's seat and for what? In other words that's not the way I want to make friends but I'll think about in another way soon. I just need to find them. I do have a twitter account since August 2014 but only a few people I never heard of follow me. I post a few things and get a few likes and retweets but that's about all she wrote. My niche...hmm good question. For a moment it was creative writing. So I tried a few meetup groups. But it was more about getting it published and having it in certain format, granted I wanted that eventually but it wasn't about developing the concept and getting inspiration. Making TV shows/film, when I went it was all about making the hottest latest crave thing, or some sex video, nothing about what I wanted so it turned me off. Depression groups, they were inconsistent in meetings and didn't always talk about the issue, and a lot of people there didn't really belong there and their issues were mild, and i tried to keep in touch with a few and they disappeared which has been a reoccurring theme in my life. But you know shortly after she left me I waffled on volunteer work but I never could find something I liked both the cause and the volunteer-mates I would be working with. The idea in principal intrigued me but the reality of results (and the effectiveness of the volunteer work actually making a significant difference) killed it. But it's not completely off the table either, just looking for the right one. I'll take another look at your suggestion on that if I fail to find a second job to pay of this apartment and that's been another issue. I been plagued with inconsistent income so I spend a lot of my time working or trying to find a job or cutting cost by not driving everywhere and it's hurt my social life.
d0nnivain Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 There is another conflicting cliche out there, it's called "put yourself out there" So which one am I suppose to honor Mikeylo? I'm not Mikelo but I will answer your Q. You have to put yourself out there in the sense that you have to so something more then sit home & hope. You have to be active so you have chances to meet people. But you can't be desperate. If you act like the dog in the Beggin' Strips commercial going crazy because it wants fake bacon -- and you're like OMG, I want a relationship, I want a relationship -- then you won't find one because you seem desperate. You are shooting down the idea of getting active in politics to find a like minded person because you don't think you can change the outcome of an election. Revisit your stance. We are suggesting you volunteer to widen your social circle, not necessarily to become an influence peddler. Getting involved here may also help you get a job. For now, focus on getting a job. Go to networking events & job fairs. While there look around. I met my husband at a business card exchange. Whatever your hobbies & interests are, use them to spur you connect with new people. If you are enjoying the group activity itself you will appear happy & at ease -- a good relationship prospect -- to a potential partner. Also tell friends & family you are open to being fixed up. Perhaps try a niche dating site for black people. I know you said you have a waning interest in your own face but scroll through the sites at least. If you don't like what you see, move along.
preraph Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 Yeah I get what you are saying but I'm not really a political person I'm a spectator, and I don't want to get involved in any kind of activism I just want to use my natural voice and let the govt stay out of our lives. Donating money to politics doesn't help anything at my level, I believe in grassroots campaigning. I will never donate to the Democrats like Jon Ossoff is raking in all of that out of state money to steal Tom Price's seat and for what? In other words that's not the way I want to make friends but I'll think about in another way soon. I just need to find them. I do have a twitter account since August 2014 but only a few people I never heard of follow me. I post a few things and get a few likes and retweets but that's about all she wrote. My niche...hmm good question. For a moment it was creative writing. So I tried a few meetup groups. But it was more about getting it published and having it in certain format, granted I wanted that eventually but it wasn't about developing the concept and getting inspiration. Making TV shows/film, when I went it was all about making the hottest latest crave thing, or some sex video, nothing about what I wanted so it turned me off. Depression groups, they were inconsistent in meetings and didn't always talk about the issue, and a lot of people there didn't really belong there and their issues were mild, and i tried to keep in touch with a few and they disappeared which has been a reoccurring theme in my life. But you know shortly after she left me I waffled on volunteer work but I never could find something I liked both the cause and the volunteer-mates I would be working with. The idea in principal intrigued me but the reality of results (and the effectiveness of the volunteer work actually making a significant difference) killed it. But it's not completely off the table either, just looking for the right one. I'll take another look at your suggestion on that if I fail to find a second job to pay of this apartment and that's been another issue. I been plagued with inconsistent income so I spend a lot of my time working or trying to find a job or cutting cost by not driving everywhere and it's hurt my social life. Yes, reality intervenes. I have to say, though, you ARE political. And becoming involved in grass roots would be the best way for you. Yes, keep looking for volunteer ops, but I know what you mean. I have two jobs and no time to even read a book, much less write one. I read all day doing what I do. And still just struggling to get it all paid. Well, since you may want a second job, I have a couple of suggestions there. My rule was on a second job (they never pay well) either do something fun and social like work retail or a restaurant where you'll meet tons of people or in the alternative, it should be something new they will train you to do so you come out of there with a new skill.
Author Withoutaqueen Posted June 4, 2017 Author Posted June 4, 2017 I'm not Mikelo but I will answer your Q. You have to put yourself out there in the sense that you have to so something more then sit home & hope. You have to be active so you have chances to meet people. But you can't be desperate. If you act like the dog in the Beggin' Strips commercial going crazy because it wants fake bacon -- and you're like OMG, I want a relationship, I want a relationship -- then you won't find one because you seem desperate. You are shooting down the idea of getting active in politics to find a like minded person because you don't think you can change the outcome of an election. Revisit your stance. We are suggesting you volunteer to widen your social circle, not necessarily to become an influence peddler. Getting involved here may also help you get a job. For now, focus on getting a job. Go to networking events & job fairs. While there look around. I met my husband at a business card exchange. Whatever your hobbies & interests are, use them to spur you connect with new people. If you are enjoying the group activity itself you will appear happy & at ease -- a good relationship prospect -- to a potential partner. Also tell friends & family you are open to being fixed up. Perhaps try a niche dating site for black people. I know you said you have a waning interest in your own face but scroll through the sites at least. If you don't like what you see, move along. You're right that I need to get out there but the issue is finding out what speaks to me. I simply can't go out there and do anything if my mind and heart is not in it because in my experience it never works, but again you are right that's what I need to do. As for politics I am not a very political person. I simply want to see Trump's politics win. Another is I'm in a very liberal saturated area (the city), with very bad traffic to get around. The few people who are on the other side have their own closed circle, hard to find, live too far away or I can't really get near them, so Twitter is my best friend on that with some of the few Pro-Trump policies. It's not that I cannot revisit my stance, but moreso the market isn't favorable for me to do this on a consistent basis. I'm not republican, and I don't like how many of them aren't fighting back. So I can't really support the party but moreso certain factions and hard to find people to network through that especially when it's so few. On top of that I don't think many "conservatives" are into a guy like myself I have a job for now but it could end at any point because it's temp (another issue with Atlanta as I'm very proletariat economically), and I'm trying to secure a second job for insurance which would kill my time to find volunteer work and other recreation but I did look at some since my last post on this thread and will look at Habitat for Humanity a bit. Even so I'm not really expecting the result I'm seeking but trying to see if there is a new avenue somewhere. I tried the interests thing on meetup and it's never actually what I was looking for not catered to that interests the way I needed, I have no friends to tell anything, and my family is very...old fashioned and don't do anything I feel passionate about. They are religious based hanging around the same kind of people that gets me nowhere, and I'm not. And black datings sites I don't even know why that was mentioned they are all pro-ethnic peddling based on the type of people it would attract and I want things to be more neutral. It's the way I would want to raise my children if I ever got to be a father and I would always be at odds with my woman about that.
Author Withoutaqueen Posted June 4, 2017 Author Posted June 4, 2017 Yes, reality intervenes. I have to say, though, you ARE political. And becoming involved in grass roots would be the best way for you. Yes, keep looking for volunteer ops, but I know what you mean. I have two jobs and no time to even read a book, much less write one. I read all day doing what I do. And still just struggling to get it all paid. Well, since you may want a second job, I have a couple of suggestions there. My rule was on a second job (they never pay well) either do something fun and social like work retail or a restaurant where you'll meet tons of people or in the alternative, it should be something new they will train you to do so you come out of there with a new skill. I'm only as political as the average anti political person. It's only because of the Trump effect. I am really more into sports than politics, but because the Left is going Batcrap over him for no reason and europe is under attack for what Trump is trying to protect us from that I want to defend what we need to save here, but I don't want to be politics 24/7, I'm more about other things, I like being self sufficient, writing stories, sports chat, making things efficient, connecting with other introverts. Life is more than about politics dude. I know second jobs don't pay well but they pay something if you have another better paying job and they are regular to bring income incase my first job collapses since it's a temp job. It will keep me focused on being productive and being in retail will help me see more new people than I'm seeing now and at least I'll get paid for it, but you did mention retail. 1
preraph Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 Oh, I hate politics. I only helped out a time or two and it was one and done and back to my life. But you are looking for a place to meet women who aren't oriented like the majority, so you have to get into something different to find that. But you don't have to make a lifestyle out of it, of course.
Author Withoutaqueen Posted June 5, 2017 Author Posted June 5, 2017 Oh, I hate politics. I only helped out a time or two and it was one and done and back to my life. But you are looking for a place to meet women who aren't oriented like the majority, so you have to get into something different to find that. But you don't have to make a lifestyle out of it, of course. Yeah it's only that I have to figure out how to find it. I'm here so we can keep brainstorming or at least until a miracle happens and a new wave of enlightenment flows through and sweeps us into it.
bradt93 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Gosh where do i start? Im a single guy in my thirties living in SE USA. Been that way since MLK day 2010 when my first and only GF dumped me for "i don't love you anymore" mostly due to religious differences (im agnostic). Ironically when i replied to her plenty of fish profile in 2008 one of the reasons i did was it said she was non-religious (she was 18 at the time). Like Bobby Degeneric i have a knack for misperceiving people's words or in this case POF didnt have any options beyond that. But things were fine until her family took a turn for the worse and sge when ultra religious. Not that this should matter but for the purpose of this posting i will reveal i am black and people at times say i dont act like it. My EXGF was too. Since losing her I've loss considerable attraction to black women for several reasons not necessarily related to her because i was attracted to her for her tendacies to go against the stereotype of african americans like sounding as a valley girl but still had that ethnic flair which was a good mix. In short i don't like the way most of them carry themselves lifestyle and mentally and the few i do aren't into me. What i liked about our relationship was her attachment to me, she always wanted to be around me but that made her twin sister jealous and was trying not to damage that relationship but she kept choosing me. Being the youngest of 2 boys no sisters and virtually NEVER having a social life her attachment was refreshing and enlightening. Spending quality intimate time together watching videos online, chatting therapeutically, engaging in constructive projects....when that all came to a sudden end with no replacement in sight, life hasn't felt worth living anymore, and that feeling hasnt changed in the 7 plus years since. I still have NO SOCIAL LIFE outside of work (when i can keep a job), there a few women at my job and those arent my type or taken, i come home to myself; i was living back with my parent until recently. There are no visitors. I try going out but i dont like what i see out there. My personality and mindset is very unique. Im very introverted but desire a small inner social circle of about 2 to 4 friends who also share the same unique personality traits. I like people who are really smart and modest not much into commercial lifestyles of music/celebs/movies the lastest stuff parties clubs and bars but the latter is what over 95% of the population is in saturation. The other 5% is hidden somewhere if they even exist. So i stay home searching online but the same jerks are there too. I feel like a misanthropist in a cynical way. I'm disenchanted with the way most people think and live their lives or what they all want (the same thing). I wish i could organically attract women outside my race or at least a black woman that isn't so blech in her attitude. I see so many non-black women profiles saying "No Black Men" almost never see no white or hispanic. I understand people have their preference but it still sucks in my case. Another reason is with the recent presidential election and in the last couple of years I'm seeing more of a divide in people, less tolerance for the other side. I been moreso neutral to libertarian the last decade which tends to favor me being a liberal. However despite not voting for Trump i like in general what he's doing and dislike what the left is doing to stop him. Now why am i mentioning this? This is also a factor in me finding someone to date. A person that says "if you voted for or support Trump do not reply" is the kind of intolerence im finding. Everyone seems like this. I can't seem to find people who share or tolerate my agnosticism, interracial dating for a black guy, low key introverted lifestyle and reformed liberal to conservative politics. Because in my family both paternal and maternal many people my age aren't married nor have children themselves i see this also being my fate. Not much into pets due to the maintaince, $$$, and respect i have for keep animals in as much natural environment as possible which isn't always in our homes. I'm looking for a modest kind intellectual sweet woman who may be a bit eccentric and awkward. Likes spending quality time, not too much into the commercial lifestyle doesn't mind occasionally being a stick in the mud (laid back) but still have occasional aspirations to go out and explore. I want to start out as friends first with no major pressure for an ltr that leads to marriage but still serious about the mental connection, but i also dont want an NSA With dating sites and real life looking not working (im also a little shy to ask women out because of the awkwardness of asking a complete stranger to hang out with you might be a little creepy, most of them already have boyfriends or husbands anyways), i don't know where to turn to. Maybe this forum will point me in moreso in the right direction. Not to get into politics, but noone is "stealing" anything, just because the seat was held a previous republican doesn't mean it should go to a republican again. It's not Tom prices "seat", it's an open congressional seat.
Sweetfish Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 (edited) Its really hard to respond fully to this thread. Its like you have years of built observations and personal issues and they all unload in one point (here). Its like you have multiple threads in one thread. life hasn't felt worth living anymore, and that feeling hasn't changed in the 7 plus years since.This is the bulk of your problems. If for the last 7 years you have felt this way.. I can only guess in the last 7 years you have done little to nothing to improve your self. I mean mentally, physically, and financially. All you need is two of the three, but all three are ideal. I still have NO SOCIAL LIFE outside of work (when i can keep a job) i come home to myself; i was living back with my parent until recently. There are no visitors. I try going out but i dont like what i see out there. You've pretty much allowed society to direct your life. You blame society for your current position and made your self a black sheep. My personality and mindset is very unique. Im very introverted but desire a small inner social circle of about 2 to 4 friends who also share the same unique personality traits. I like people who are really smart and modest not much into commercial lifestyles of music/celebs/movies the lastest stuff parties clubs and bars but the latter is what over 95% of the population is in saturation.While I would be a liar if I did not agree that a mass part of the population are into parties and bars... I think your 95% of the population is way off and do not agree with this statement. Sometimes our years of observation is not what we think and we have to be more open-minded to not be trapped in our own perception. I see so many non-black women profiles saying "No Black Men" almost never see no white or hispanic.Who cares... what your reading is again your "knack for misperceiving" You will be surprised that this is not what it means... again you are unique so therefore you are not the stereotype. Do not cloud your judgement. Do not allow 10 no's to decide your faith. Elon Musk was called crazy and insane for trying to start a rocket program and also crazy for starting not only a car manufacturer in the USA..but an electric car company. Do not allow others to cloud your judgement and keep your self esteem strong or you will be doubtful and fail in everything. A person that says "if you voted for or support Trump do not reply" is the kind of intolerance im finding. Everyone seems like this.Most big cities. NY, Atlanta, California, and Florida the people will most often favor the left side where more Midwestern (the bible belt) will favor the right. Be glad you don't waste your time dating and find out later she hates your point of view. waste of time and waste of money. Im sorry.. but call it tough love. You barely can keep a job You possible do not own a home. You show no reliable resources that will attract a woman or capacity that makes her believe you are a reliable resource. This is her biology as its in your biology to like a beautiful female. What do you have to offer? If you decide to talk about religion or politics on a date/online your better off leaving your balls at home 24/7 because most likely most men will put their foot in their mouth eventually and that one statement will kill any chances unless you align 100% I can't seem to find people who share or tolerate my agnosticism, interracial dating for a black guy, low key introverted lifestyle and reformed liberal to conservative politics.You are too concern with finding someone... You should be more focused more on you and this makes you desirable. Edited June 5, 2017 by Sweetfish
Author Withoutaqueen Posted June 5, 2017 Author Posted June 5, 2017 Not to get into politics, but noone is "stealing" anything, just because the seat was held a previous republican doesn't mean it should go to a republican again. It's not Tom prices "seat", it's an open congressional seat. Dude you know what i mean. You dont need ro be literal. But essentially the dems are stealing the seat. The 6th district has been republican for a few decades and if you seens the ads ossoff is running he sounds like a republican in cutting taxes and fiscal responsible spendings, very deceptive as dems never do that.
Author Withoutaqueen Posted June 5, 2017 Author Posted June 5, 2017 Its really hard to respond fully to this thread. Its like you have years of built observations and personal issues and they all unload in one point (here). Its like you have multiple threads in one thread. Ok let me try to answer your retorts so you can understand me more This is the bulk of your problems. If for the last 7 years you have felt this way.. I can only guess in the last 7 years you have done little to nothing to improve your self. I mean mentally, physically, and financially. All you need is two of the three, but all three are ideal. I've heard his so much but I've learned sometime you need another person to help you grow develop and evolve. People erroneously think you need to be "improved to have a succesful relationship. While there is a truth to it its a fallacy as the only solution. Relationships are give and take an nowdays no one has the tolerance to deal with anything beyond the trite perfect person. I mean i was like this before my EXGF very depressed and when she came in my life things improved. Also plenty of people have imprefections and still have friends family and dating matess. So again all one needs is another who's willing to walk with them and open their mind to something a little unusual. Ive seen it. Not saying you are wrong but relationships aren't limited to "you have to work on yourself first" you can only do that so much and im not really as broken as you think its just we live in a world of low tolerance to slightly imperfect people. If i "work on myself" it would involve conforming to a mainstream in which i lose my identity to fit other people's "imperfections not the lateral move i want. You've pretty much allowed society to direct your life. You blame society for your current position and made your self a black sheep. Actually i would say the opposite based on my previous comment While I would be a liar if I did not agree that a mass part of the population are into parties and bars... I think your 95% of the population is way off and do not agree with this statement. Sometimes our years of observation is not what we think and we have to be more open-minded to not be trapped in our own perception. Again it's being too literal you know what i mean i was using the 95-5 rule Who cares... what your reading is again your "knack for misperceiving" You will be surprised that this is not what it means... again you are unique so therefore you are not the stereotype. Do not cloud your judgement. Do not allow 10 no's to decide your faith. I don't know what you are trying to say here bit i dont let thinks ultimately change me Elon Musk was called crazy and insane for trying to start a rocket program and also crazy for starting not only a car manufacturer in the USA..but an electric car company. Well now elon musk is pulling out of trumps team for him pulling out of a bad deal for the U.S. that did nothing to improve our environment. He should learn from his own success and not succumb to pressure from the left. Do not allow others to cloud your judgement and keep your self esteem strong or you will be doubtful and fail in everything. Again answered earlier Most big cities. NY, Atlanta, California, and Florida the people will most often favor the left side where more Midwestern (the bible belt) will favor the right. Be glad you don't waste your time dating and find out later she hates your point of view. waste of time and waste of money. Can't disagree here. I simply cant seem to attract midwesterns anymore either. And im happy to not have bad matches Im sorry.. but call it tough love. You barely can keep a job You possible do not own a home. Im good at saving money when i do have one and very frugal. You show no reliable resources that will attract a woman or capacity that makes her believe you are a reliable resource. This is her biology as its in your biology to like a beautiful female. What do you have to offer? I know what you're getting at and you do have a point but we as human beings have the ability to curve the trend of succumbing 2 hour biological urges which ironically improves Our Lives in this case if people learn to not succumb to biological urges of what seems to be the most attractive person but it ends up ruining our lives things will be better and that's what I'm trying to find at this moment people have the wrong idea of what is attractive based on these biological urges If you decide to talk about religion or politics on a date/online your better off leaving your balls at home 24/7 because most likely most men will put their foot in their mouth eventually and that one statement will kill any chances unless you align 100% I'm only talking about it because you see how everyone keeps bringing it up and their replies so you see my point You are too concern with finding someone... You should be more focused more on you and this makes you desirable. Thanks so much for your replies im hoping mine gives people to understand how deeply i think by spending so much time by myself so you can see why i need an occasional person. No one should be alone if they don't want them to. How can one work on oneself if he/she is always alone. That's why im trying to find friends first then dating but people want ltr to marriage or nsa. Its very frustrating
Author Withoutaqueen Posted June 5, 2017 Author Posted June 5, 2017 And guys I want you to understand despite my imperfections I was attracting some women but something changed in mid-2014 where it start it to decreased very rapidly I've always been the same person all the sudden people's taste and dating changed and in my opinion for the worse they got less tolerant of certain kinds of people people became less therapeutic less open-minded less open-hearted and it may have had something to do with everyone getting a smartphone and using apps and getting away from the classic chat rooms in 2013 I met a girl that I was very close to dating 5 years after my ex girlfriend broke up to me she was very nice and sweet and she also said had some interpersonal issues herself that's why I don't believe the notion that you always have to quote unquote on yourself to find the ideal relationship we both had our own problems the thing is she had a situation with a she kept getting into the wrong crowd and I wasn't getting ready to jump into a relationship with her she eventually disappeared and that was 3 years ago in 2014
Popsicle Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 And guys I want you to understand despite my imperfections I was attracting some women but something changed in mid-2014 where it start it to decreased very rapidly I've always been the same person all the sudden people's taste and dating changed and in my opinion for the worse they got less tolerant of certain kinds of people people became less therapeutic less open-minded less open-hearted and it may have had something to do with everyone getting a smartphone and using apps and getting away from the classic chat rooms in 2013 I met a girl that I was very close to dating 5 years after my ex girlfriend broke up to me she was very nice and sweet and she also said had some interpersonal issues herself that's why I don't believe the notion that you always have to quote unquote on yourself to find the ideal relationship we both had our own problems the thing is she had a situation with a she kept getting into the wrong crowd and I wasn't getting ready to jump into a relationship with her she eventually disappeared and that was 3 years ago in 2014 I love how you made this run-on sentence work. I have a question for you. Were your prior (substantial) relationships all formed online or from chat rooms? My first inclination is to tell you that most people in their twenties are exploring and experimenting even if they don't know it. This is why they seemed more open minded.
Sweetfish Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Negative... the best time to work on you is when you are single. On rare instances being with someone yields a better person. In 4 years you could have a degree or master something. In 4 years you could have self developed, learned a trade, or travelled to many places. When you are single you can learn to love your self. You on the other hand like so many people have to be with someone and only with that someone. This is how relationships fail because how many years can you be tied to the hip.. You need to have friends and start doing things outside the relationship. You cant simply depend on each other. How can you keep the relationship fresh or exciting if its the same thing year after year. Day after day.. have outside friends and an active social circle.. (doesnt have to be big) adds new and freshiness to a relationship. You said it... you were depressed prior to your relationship and depressed after.. so how did being in a relationship help you? It was a band-aid. You were a codepedant. I see that with so many men here and I bet your using the last relationship ad a template. You even said you dont see what is worth your wild living. You can argue a point... to argue.. or see reality for what it is.. You have not developed a social life or social skills. You have not built your wealth. You pine on the fact that your black so therefore dating is harder for you. In other words... you refuse to bend for society and hope it will bend for you. You need to compromise or simply live a difficult life. Your in your 30's now.. what has changed is your pool of women. The older you get the more women will expect out of you and the more stable you should be. Stop making excuses.. your hoping that you can be a nice guy and get what you want... Well 7 years counting... right? Being nice just yields being nice and thats it. It doesnt always yield attraction. If you have nothing... your chances of getting what you seek are vastly lower.
Author Withoutaqueen Posted June 6, 2017 Author Posted June 6, 2017 Negative... the best time to work on you is when you are single. On rare instances being with someone yields a better person. In 4 years you could have a degree or master something. In 4 years you could have self developed, learned a trade, or travelled to many places. When you are single you can learn to love your self. You on the other hand like so many people have to be with someone and only with that someone. This is how relationships fail because how many years can you be tied to the hip.. You need to have friends and start doing things outside the relationship. You cant simply depend on each other. How can you keep the relationship fresh or exciting if its the same thing year after year. Day after day.. have outside friends and an active social circle.. (doesnt have to be big) adds new and freshiness to a relationship. You said it... you were depressed prior to your relationship and depressed after.. so how did being in a relationship help you? It was a band-aid. You were a codepedant. I see that with so many men here and I bet your using the last relationship ad a template. You even said you dont see what is worth your wild living. You can argue a point... to argue.. or see reality for what it is.. You have not developed a social life or social skills. You have not built your wealth. You pine on the fact that your black so therefore dating is harder for you. In other words... you refuse to bend for society and hope it will bend for you. You need to compromise or simply live a difficult life. Your in your 30's now.. what has changed is your pool of women. The older you get the more women will expect out of you and the more stable you should be. Stop making excuses.. your hoping that you can be a nice guy and get what you want... Well 7 years counting... right? Being nice just yields being nice and thats it. It doesnt always yield attraction. If you have nothing... your chances of getting what you seek are vastly lower. Well sir I will just have to agree to disagree with you just because you don't agree with me doesn't mean I'm wrong but I will say you're not wrong on being able to work on yourself by yourself however my view is I think you can work on yourself by being with another person as well so I try not to live in my thoughts just won the missional thinking you can develop yourself with another person it's just another way to do it another facet I've reached a point where I've been alone for so long I'm getting dissociate so the only way I can better myself is to be with another person I know myself better than you will ever know but I won't discredit everything you say because you have your own experience I have mine you say I also don't compromise but I've done a lot of compromising in my life just to get to this point and I'm tired of doing it and not getting rewarded for it so I need something to happen for my favor because that is what is what truly makes me happy everyone will come up with their own assessment because of what work for them but it doesn't mean it's what works for other people
elaine567 Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 I've heard his so much but I've learned sometime you need another person to help you grow develop and evolve. People erroneously think you need to be "improved to have a succesful relationship. While there is a truth to it its a fallacy as the only solution. Relationships are give and take an nowdays no one has the tolerance to deal with anything beyond the trite perfect person. I mean i was like this before my EXGF very depressed and when she came in my life things improved. Also plenty of people have imprefections and still have friends family and dating matess. So again all one needs is another who's willing to walk with them and open their mind to something a little unusual. Ive seen it. Not saying you are wrong but relationships aren't limited to "you have to work on yourself first" you can only do that so much and im not really as broken as you think its just we live in a world of low tolerance to slightly imperfect people. If i "work on myself" it would involve conforming to a mainstream in which i lose my identity to fit other people's "imperfections not the lateral move i want. Maybe you just want another person to again transport you out of your "horrible" life, so you don't actually need to do anything.
GunslingerRoland Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 I like people who are really smart and modest not much into commercial lifestyles of music/celebs/movies the lastest stuff parties clubs and bars but the latter is what over 95% of the population is in saturation. The other 5% is hidden somewhere if they even exist. I'm not sure what to think of your situation but it sounds like it goes a lot deeper than just your lack of a relationship. It sounds like you are very high on yourself, to the point where you don't have any relationships (including friendships) with anyone, because you don't think anyone is up to the standard of your liking. You have a lot about what you don't like, but what are you actually into? Also if you are this brilliant mind that is so much better than 95% of the population, how come you can't hold down a job?
Author Withoutaqueen Posted June 6, 2017 Author Posted June 6, 2017 I love how you made this run-on sentence work. I have a question for you. Were your prior (substantial) relationships all formed online or from chat rooms? My first inclination is to tell you that most people in their twenties are exploring and experimenting even if they don't know it. This is why they seemed more open minded. The run-on sentence is probably cuz I am using a text to speech app I apologize for that
Chilli Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 if it's any consolation , reading right through ls, and other places and knowing people, it seems hard for anyone don't worry. male , female , even model looks. but if your not feeling right about so much time alone , which ls a problem l have to because l live mostly alone now and l work at home too. but even the little things help , even just making a habit of gong up the local shopping center and sitting around for a coffee, even doing your shopping . even getting out for walks ir garage sales on a sat morng, any tiny thing at all in everyday life all help the isolation a bit and get you among people , picks you up, the tiny little things are a good start while your thinking about the bigger ones. me l wanna find some hiking or rock climbing, with people, that's something l love doing and l've heard some great stories. l also love markets and the beach in summer. your on the right track and figuring out things you'd like to get out there and into, fir another good start.
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