How long before cutting off a potential?

[coolheadal]

That goes without saying lol. So I am asking you cool as a guy. Say A girl messaged you on fb and your corresponding back and forth. She obviously is interested because she initiated messaging you and she responds to your messages in a reasonable amount of time. What do you think is a reasonable time for you yourself to ask her for her number, call her, and ask her to meet you on a date? Assuming you enjoy her conversation. I want to know from you what you think is a reasonable time for a girl like me to

give to a guy to ask for her number, call her, and ask her out on a date. A week? Two weeks? Three? Month? I genuinely want to know your opinion. Thank you in advance.

 

Today while here she contacted me we're been talking all day again.. She prompt me so fast around the clock quicker than anyone I've text before. But don't you get it she's interested that's why. She said talking to me me she felt free. I have her cell number already got that last night. She gave it to me without worry. I told her to come and see me when she can get to the US. She said next holiday she would be here. That's good. I've dated off FB before but it's been a very long time. I do not use FB for finding someone. I run a lot of groups and sometimes things happen. This one was telling me she was searching for someone and find me interesting.

 

For you how long have you been talking to her? What should happen next everything should fall into place. I already got her flower I just knew it was a rose, just ask her what color and I got 3D virtual one she was happy and her smile prove it with her smile.

 

Mine voice chat me so many times and quickly switched to video chat. The connection was bad on both ends weather today wasn't the best.

[Curiousroxy86]

I'm afraid this is still an "it depends" answer. In one case, I asked a woman out the same day I first messaged her. In another case, I waited well over a month before asking her out. It all depended on the vibe I got from the woman. If I felt she was enthusiastic about getting to know me, I would ask her out quickly. If I felt she was being guarded and/or she gave indications she wanted to move slowly, I would wait a while.

 

Thank you for your answer.

[mortensorchid]

Haha yea yours is a lot more cut throat I think lol. 4 to 6 emails. I'm on pof. I went on a date last night with a guy and we have only been talking for two weeks. He calls regularly and I do think he asked for my number after about a few messages back and forth. He asked for a second date on the date. And he texted me this morning. So based off that one instance I can see your logic on quickly cutting those who don't fit that description. I am just not sure if it's fair to assess that just because he didn't ask after say the 6th email that he is not going to in a reasonable amount of time. Only reason I say that if I was a guy and I had 2 nights set to date a week and I am corresponding with girls online and maybe I already agreed to take two girls out already and a girl I find attractive messages me. I don't want to lose momentum with her because the dates may not pan out. So I talk to the girl who messages me but I don't ask her out cause I am already going on a date with two women before her. I feel like being that cut throats doesn't take that's reality in account. I don't want to be unrealistically restrictive but I don't want to foolishly waste my time. But I don't know I guess we shall see. I may adjust accordingly. Thank you for your response.

 

Those are my rules for initial contact. After he has called / texted within said 48 hours, that's another ballgame.

 

1) Text in 48 hours - I am on the fence about texting because texting is a passive form of communication. He may text within an hour of departure, which is fine. He has to say in the text "I had a very good time and I want to see you again." I am here to tell you that this text has NEVER BEEN received by me. What usually happens is that the man sends a text the next day saying "Good morning hope you are having a good day". I respond "I am thanks, how is yours?" We may start chatting about another topic all together, and it ended with my response to one of his texts ... And I never hear from him again after that.

 

2) Phone call - The most positive sign that he's interested within 48 hours. If and when I get that phone call I am happy. This has happened maybe three times in so many years of OLD. One I did see a few times after that for about 6 weeks, then he treated me very badly and cut me out of his life. Another the same, he was a nutcase/loser, and the third kind of screwed it up for himself.

 

Situations where neither of those three mentioned above were THE ONE by any means. It's what it is.

[BluEyeL]

Makes me want to break every damn one of those rules... so I'd never be stuck that kind of negativity. I want to be with someone who is about warmth, kindness, understanding, cooperation. If someone turns out to have too much expectation, combined with a militant attitude about how a man is supposed to be... that's when I know it's time to say adios.

It's not that they knew I had all of these boundaries. I never came out to list a series of expectations. But if someone didn't meet me after a reasonable time he's out without being told why, if he makes sexual innuendo he's out and so on. I never had a militant attitude I just did what was good for me so I can cut through the crap. I think a man who sees me once a week after asking me out once we chatted for a few messages and takes his time to know me is someone whom I can definitely date and the standards are not to high. Those who are talking about sex before meeting and don't ask a woman out are not good prospects . I think it is a very reasonable thing to expect. Only this type of person will become a serious relationship .

 

I don't think men should eagerly pursue a woman. Just meet her, and if the first date was good see her again next week and take it from there.

 

Pleople who talk to yo for months , sporadically make dates and talk about sex before meeting are not serious prospects. They just aren't. So it doesn't matter if they break the rules I have in my head becausw they are upset with my attitude. Never had that happen because there is no I attitude.

Edited June 5, 2017 by BluEyeL