Luvs2much Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 So, it's been a while since I've been single, a year now. In May right before mother's day my stepdad's(but in my heart he's my real dad) nephew we'll call him J. 41yrs old. He suddenly Messaged me on Facebook He would message me once in a blue moon just to say hello and ask about the family,to keep it short we know each other but not close. But this time its different, we started talking and found out we have alot in common. Relationship wise,personality, mentally,goals, music,likes,aspirations etc. He's expressed he feels we have alot in common, 4 times now in the past 3 weeks straight that we've been chatting. Saying things like, "why didn't we do this sooner" He wakes me up with a goodmorning. And we continue chatting through the the day, even when we're both at work.Weve both had ****ty longterm relationships,he's divorced 10yrs now,single 5. I was in a 10yr relationship, single 1. I've heard from family that his ex caused him alot of disillusionment. But he's taken the time to heal and he's very mature and level headed about his whole ordeal. My mom noticed something was up, so I told her how it started, that I wasn't sure why he was trying to make contact, but when I told her she lit up. She knows him so much better than I do, she kinda feels he might have a crush on me? Last time he was here visiting I was going thru crap with my ex and didn't even spend time with them..my self esteem was ****ty at the time. So we didn't have time to connect I guess. Anywho...Hes invited me to his place to show me his collections next time Im out there in his country(we collect the same things lol)show me around his city and neighborhood were he lives, the bars he likes to go to. He's amazing around kids!he's in a car club(even the families get together)and they raise funds for children with health issues,community functions to help the poor etc. This dude is amazing lol pretty much everything his ex hated I like. Everything my ex hated he likes..maybe that's why we feel attracted to each other? He told me his story, I told him mines and he's been a bit more subtly flirting with me lol,but very respectful about it. He just had minor surgery, so I sent him a funny get well meme and he replies with "but you have to be my nurse if you come down here" I felt he was flirting again. So I replied "sure I'd love to" then he said "you give me advice and brighten up my days" I blushed so hard omg. From what I hear my stepaunt will be coming down with him(that's her son)and Grandpa to visit. He's already said hes on leave for a month and that it would be great if we hung out while he's out here. He really wants to come out here So I guess what I'm asking is, has anyone been through something like this with a stepcousin? I'm having a hard time reading his signals cause I haven't dated in 10yrs :pcould my intuition be right, are his signals those of someone who's interested in more than just friends? Any advice would be great guys. I dont want to over think it and end up hurting myself. But it does seem so strange to me that from having very little contact and not knowing each other so we'll, that he suddenly shows alot of interest. Any advice is appreciated guys and gals thank you!!
mikeylo Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 So, it's been a while since I've been single, a year now. In May right before mother's day my stepdad's(but in my heart he's my real dad) nephew we'll call him J. 41yrs old. He suddenly Messaged me on Facebook He would message me once in a blue moon just to say hello and ask about the family,to keep it short we know each other but not close. But this time its different, we started talking and found out we have alot in common. Relationship wise,personality, mentally,goals, music,likes,aspirations etc. He's expressed he feels we have alot in common, 4 times now in the past 3 weeks straight that we've been chatting. Saying things like, "why didn't we do this sooner" He wakes me up with a goodmorning. And we continue chatting through the the day, even when we're both at work.Weve both had ****ty longterm relationships,he's divorced 10yrs now,single 5. I was in a 10yr relationship, single 1. I've heard from family that his ex caused him alot of disillusionment. But he's taken the time to heal and he's very mature and level headed about his whole ordeal. My mom noticed something was up, so I told her how it started, that I wasn't sure why he was trying to make contact, but when I told her she lit up. She knows him so much better than I do, she kinda feels he might have a crush on me? Last time he was here visiting I was going thru crap with my ex and didn't even spend time with them..my self esteem was ****ty at the time. So we didn't have time to connect I guess. Anywho...Hes invited me to his place to show me his collections next time Im out there in his country(we collect the same things lol)show me around his city and neighborhood were he lives, the bars he likes to go to. He's amazing around kids!he's in a car club(even the families get together)and they raise funds for children with health issues,community functions to help the poor etc. This dude is amazing lol pretty much everything his ex hated I like. Everything my ex hated he likes..maybe that's why we feel attracted to each other? He told me his story, I told him mines and he's been a bit more subtly flirting with me lol,but very respectful about it. He just had minor surgery, so I sent him a funny get well meme and he replies with "but you have to be my nurse if you come down here" I felt he was flirting again. So I replied "sure I'd love to" then he said "you give me advice and brighten up my days" I blushed so hard omg. From what I hear my stepaunt will be coming down with him(that's her son)and Grandpa to visit. He's already said hes on leave for a month and that it would be great if we hung out while he's out here. He really wants to come out here So I guess what I'm asking is, has anyone been through something like this with a stepcousin? I'm having a hard time reading his signals cause I haven't dated in 10yrs :pcould my intuition be right, are his signals those of someone who's interested in more than just friends? Any advice would be great guys. I dont want to over think it and end up hurting myself. But it does seem so strange to me that from having very little contact and not knowing each other so we'll, that he suddenly shows alot of interest. Any advice is appreciated guys and gals thank you!! How old are you ?
mikeylo Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 He could just be being polite or extra friendly because of your relationship via your stepdad or interested romantically. Don't jump the gun and see how it goes. If he is interested, he will make it known.
coolheadal Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 The only problem I see right now with you are in fear of something won't be right since your are sort of related in a family. Why not play it by ear and see what happens. Try not to get your hopes up too much. Treat all of this as friendship. Because you are right you could get hurt and fall back into the inner void where you are right now. To bad he wasn't a guy that was part of your family. That's what makes it very hard to deal with. Cultures are different but you have to talk to him about this in a way you don't get embarrassed doing so. How you might ask, well with some confidence for one. Second you say it like and option of doubt. Meaning what if say two step family members seem to like each other would you or could you see other than that they were related? See what he says about it? Then you judge his answer and then you might suggest you and him? Then see what he says. That's the only way to find out my child. I wish you the best. Love is so hard to find, because of being in a close step family. The risk are hard and the result my be mixed one.
smackie9 Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 Part of a car club? You have a winner there! Go visit and see where it takes you....dress pretty and flirt a lot.
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