oneinamillion93 Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 I met him at our mutual friends party and we hit it off. It was the first time we met officially, I see him once or twice before without talking at all. Even though I can't figure it out why would I go for him but yeah it happened. The thing is: he's 19 and I'm 25. I'm mature but still haven't had much life experience even though I work and pay rent and live on my own for years already. He's apparently not that mature. But he tried to be one so sometimes I can see that he's trying hard to act like a grown up. Which is nice but I can sense how much he had to putting up with it. He confessed his feelings for me but I just simply say thanks without rejecting him because I don't really know what to do. He hasn't texted me since then. I'm still wondering and unsure if I want this. I like him but the age gap is no joke. Plus I know his family and relatives I don't know if they ever thought of me seduce young guy or have some problems in mind that go after their kid. Should I start it or leave it? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 It's not a huge age gap, but then it kind of is. I mean, if you didn't have ties to his family, you could just have fun and try not to get serious, but it could get sticky with friends or family involved and you'd have to keep running into each other. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author oneinamillion93 Posted June 3, 2017 Author Share Posted June 3, 2017 It's not a huge age gap, but then it kind of is. I mean, if you didn't have ties to his family, you could just have fun and try not to get serious, but it could get sticky with friends or family involved and you'd have to keep running into each other. This. Exactly what I thought. Plus everyone at the party knew he hitting hard on me and we kinda flirting with each other. I wanted to just date and have fun but the fact that I know his relatives really gets me on nerves Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 At this point in your life, it is a bigger deal than you think it is. He's far less mature than you are. One of my recent bfs was/is 6 years younger than me. When we were together I was 37 and he was 31 (today I am 42 and he's 36). I said remember when he was 19 I was 24, people would think that's disgusting. They'd look at me like I was a cradle robber. And, I'm afraid that people will look at you like this as well. At least, at the ages that you are. Plus by some of the behaviors (not returning your text messages), I think that it's best to move on from this. He's not that interested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hercules22 Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 age gap to big doubt he would want to get serious i hate bumping into 18 or 19 year old girls i dont invest in them sometimes these girls i meet i think there like 22 or 23 lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 Depending on where you live the gap is more significant than you think. In the US you can't even take him to a bar for 2 more years. If you see him in person again be friendly. Quietly explain that the timing is not right but let him down gently. Make it super clear that nothing can happen until he's over 21. Don't mention maturity. call is being at different life stages. I mean, what are you going to do, go to a frat party with him or a school pep rally? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 With all the people on the planet to choose from I don't know why you'd want to be "keeping it in the family". You'd be setting yourself up for a lot of meddling into your relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author oneinamillion93 Posted June 3, 2017 Author Share Posted June 3, 2017 At this point in your life, it is a bigger deal than you think it is. He's far less mature than you are. One of my recent bfs was/is 6 years younger than me. When we were together I was 37 and he was 31 (today I am 42 and he's 36). I said remember when he was 19 I was 24, people would think that's disgusting. They'd look at me like I was a cradle robber. And, I'm afraid that people will look at you like this as well. At least, at the ages that you are. Plus by some of the behaviors (not returning your text messages), I think that it's best to move on from this. He's not that interested. Well I actually kinda ignored his text so he didn't text me since then. I think I shouldn't do anything at all and let things go. You're right. We're so much different. Link to post Share on other sites
Author oneinamillion93 Posted June 3, 2017 Author Share Posted June 3, 2017 age gap to big doubt he would want to get serious i hate bumping into 18 or 19 year old girls i dont invest in them sometimes these girls i meet i think there like 22 or 23 lol I don't want anything serious either. But the fact that people would know the age gap makes me feel sick. I don't think I can get over it. Depending on where you live the gap is more significant than you think. In the US you can't even take him to a bar for 2 more years. If you see him in person again be friendly. Quietly explain that the timing is not right but let him down gently. Make it super clear that nothing can happen until he's over 21. Don't mention maturity. call is being at different life stages. I mean, what are you going to do, go to a frat party with him or a school pep rally? This. We can't even go to a club together. Maybe I'll just tell him come back when he's 21 lol With all the people on the planet to choose from I don't know why you'd want to be "keeping it in the family". You'd be setting yourself up for a lot of meddling into your relationship. I know right. Sometimes we just can't explain things Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 I don't want anything serious either. But the fact that people would know the age gap makes me feel sick. I don't think I can get over it. This. We can't even go to a club together. Maybe I'll just tell him come back when he's 21 lol Well I actually kinda ignored his text so he didn't text me since then. I think I shouldn't do anything at all and let things go. You're right. We're so much different. If the age gap is "making you sick" you can't date him. That seems a little harsh & shallow but I get not wanting to date a guy you can't take to a club. Failing to respond to his text is fine. He's gotten the message. Nothing else is required now. Do not "tell him to come back when he's 21." That's harsh & gives him false hope. When you see him in person walk a very fine line. Be gracious & warm but not flirty. Act like he never asked & resume your normal interactions. If he pushes quietly & gently explain you are at different life stages & the timing is wrong. Be very cautious not to damage his ego, or make him feel bad about being 19, but don't give false hope. A lot can happen in 2 years. You may both meet someone else or at least one of you will. Link to post Share on other sites
Author oneinamillion93 Posted June 5, 2017 Author Share Posted June 5, 2017 I have an update guys Last night was my friend birthday party and he invited both me and him. It was at a night club and his relatives were also there as well. I became null and silent and awkward. He came on to me really strong and I somehow got scared. Today I asked him something kind of what we are and where we stand he answered my text as he's only think of me like a sister. Because I asked him if he liked me as a man with a woman or a boy with his sister. I ****ed up big time. I really am regret it. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 5, 2017 Share Posted June 5, 2017 I dated a few 19 year olds when I was 24-25. They have no idea what they want in a relaitonship but they do know they want sex. You regret nothing because he isn't what you need. Link to post Share on other sites
Author oneinamillion93 Posted June 5, 2017 Author Share Posted June 5, 2017 I dated a few 19 year olds when I was 24-25. They have no idea what they want in a relaitonship but they do know they want sex. You regret nothing because he isn't what you need. When I was 24 I went for a 21. Things seemed fine because I'm young at heart and he also matured. For now I feel like I'm regretting something that I won't have a chance to taste. Like Adam eating an apple. But yeah I'll be fine. In the end things will fade away. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 5, 2017 Share Posted June 5, 2017 Big difference between 19 and 21. there's a lot of growing during those two years. Link to post Share on other sites
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