alec007 Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 Didn't start dating until 23, due to anxiety and self confidence issues. Recently I have been on a few dates, but they're going nowhere. I feel like girls can tell I'm sexually inexperienced as I've not gone at any bases so to speak. Is that a huge turn off for women ? I think I come off as a nice guy and a friend kind of guy. Any tips ?
BaileyB Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 Everybody starts somewhere... We all need to "do the work" to gain experience. You are no different than anyone else. Just think of each date as another experience - an opportunity to practice. With the right girl, it won't matter if you don't have much experience. You are only 24, not 42. Don't worry about it - try to have fun! The fun, is in the learning... 2
Maggie4 Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 She doesn't know you are inexperienced, unless you act really stressed. Some men seem comfortable even when very young, and some are awkward even in middle age. I think a big help is being sensitive and don't think you know what mary likes just because susan liked it previously. 1
preraph Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 Don't EVER tell a woman you are a virgin. She has no way of knowing. A lot of more experienced guys are, nonetheless, crap in bed, so there's no way she'll ever know. 6
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 I think it's very important to tell a woman that you're serious about that you are a virgin at the right time. If she is mature enough, she won't be phased by it. Every woman deserves the truth, because nobody wants to be lied to. If you get to sleep with her eventually, because you are in love with a particular women you're serious with or you are ready or comfortable to do so, then it's better to be truthful about your virginal status rather than pretend to be more "experienced" than you actually are. And it is true, that experience does not equal to a guy or girl being sincere, unselfish, kind, loving, romantic, genuine or even good in bed. I slept with a guy many moons ago who boasted about how many women he slept with and how he liked to eff the s#*t out of girls. He was not good in bed. He was selfish, rude and just gross. He could never keep a relationship, despite always having a girl on the go. No surprises as to why.
ScienceGal Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 Are you sure it's the lack of sexual experience? How did you deal with your anxiety and self-esteem issues? Might there be residual vibes that your dates are picking up on?
Robratory Posted June 3, 2017 Posted June 3, 2017 Didn't start dating until 23, due to anxiety and self confidence issues. Recently I have been on a few dates, but they're going nowhere. I feel like girls can tell I'm sexually inexperienced as I've not gone at any bases so to speak. Is that a huge turn off for women ? I think I come off as a nice guy and a friend kind of guy. Any tips ? There's a framing problem with "sexually inexperienced." The framing assumes that sex is about technique and procedure, when it's not. There's no move, no swirl, that you can use on every woman and be successful. Nobody is good at sex in general because sex happens between individuals, and everyone's different. We are "sexually inexperienced" every time we get involved with someone new, and the experience we gain with one person doesn't help us with the next person. My tip is that you shouldn't fall into the trap of thinking of girls as harsh taskmasters who sternly determine who gets favored status and who doesn't. The truth is that they're just as freaked out and just as clueless as we are. If you like someone, think of her as her and not a member of some female tribe. It's just you and her. Let her know that you really like her. This is as easy as catching her eye and saying, "You know? I really like you!" Not every girl will like you back, but in those cases, thank them graciously and move on. It will take a few rounds, but you will find a girl who is as into you as you are into her, and then everything will fall into place. 2
mortensorchid Posted June 3, 2017 Posted June 3, 2017 It wasn't until fairly recently that I realized how many guys out there are virgins who are into their twenties and even their thirties. When I posted on this topic before I got some very hostile responses from the guys saying I am thinking like a woman and I don't understand how hard it is for guys to get laid. Ok, I suppose that's the case and I will no longer post those kinds of questions because of that fact. There are three I know of from my life story who were virgins until later in life - two met me and they did IT with me for the first time, the other said he did not have sex until he was 29 (not with me but someone else). Of the two I was with, he was 23 and said he had not done IT when I questioned him because he didn't feel confident about himself. The other? He had at least 2 serious gfs before me, one he was with for six years. They were living together for the last two of them, were engaged to be married, and he never did IT with her. Odd? Certainly. Once again one of my rules that if something doesn't seem right, it usually isn't. You may never know what that is or is not, but if you ignore it it will always linger. But that's another story of course ... As to your situation? Don't automatically volunteer the fact that you are a virgin upon meeting someone even for a casual greeting. You'll sound odd to them. Over time you should tell that person that you are if it gets to that stage of things. If the woman learns this and then turns her back on you, she's not a good woman. Then again, I take things in stride with others and say it's not really my business if you are or are not, it's just what it is. 2
d0nnivain Posted June 3, 2017 Posted June 3, 2017 Stop projecting. Unless you tell people, nobody knows you are a virgin. Confidence is a fake it til you make it thing. Even when you don't feel confident, act confident anyway. Like the commercial says, "never let 'em see you sweat." Do what feels natural. If you are happy in your own skin & you think that you are worth spending time with, you will be just find. If you walk around thinking you are defective, other people will pick up on that vibe. 2
hercules22 Posted June 3, 2017 Posted June 3, 2017 yep dont bother telling them that you are just pretend your not it will make you confident it will be the best way for you to get experience anyway
starrynight4321 Posted June 3, 2017 Posted June 3, 2017 Hon, there are so many men out there who like to point out their "sexual experience" who don't even know the first thing about pleasing a woman. Don't worry about it. Honestly, I would never consider rejecting a guy I actually liked for being a virgIn. Never. Wouldn't happen. I'd reject the guy bragging about his experience in a heart beat. I think it's going to be rare that you run into a situation where a woman is totally horrified by you being a virgin. If she likes you enough, it's not going to matter. People hype up sex wayyyyy too much in terms of skill. For the most part you have to learn what your partner likes anyways. To be honest, if you never told the person they probably wouldn't be able to figure it out. If you want to be honest with women though, that's very respectable. Someone who has already formed a connection with you outside of sex is not going to dump you over being a virgin. 3
amazonrambo Posted June 3, 2017 Posted June 3, 2017 Don't EVER tell a woman you are a virgin. She has no way of knowing. A lot of more experienced guys are, nonetheless, crap in bed, so there's no way she'll ever know. I agree. Even if it's a white lie, who cares.. You finally aren't a virgin at the end of it. Ideally if you're going to lie, make sure it's with a girl you don't plan something long term with.
No_Go Posted June 3, 2017 Posted June 3, 2017 They just pick up your anxiety. They have no way to know you're a virgin unless you tell them. Sex is not rocket science, you'll figure out what to do very fast because as humans, we just are hard wired to know how to do it. [i was older than you when I started dating and having sex - sex wasn't a big deal, knowing how to communicate with my dating partners was the hard part]. Even for experienced fathers btw most dates go to nowhere. Just keep meeting different people.
Springsummer Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 you could be a criminal instead. oh wait being a virgin is worse to females why? what's wrong with innocent and purity? if that's by choice?
Popsicle Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 Didn't start dating until 23, due to anxiety and self confidence issues. Recently I have been on a few dates, but they're going nowhere. I feel like girls can tell I'm sexually inexperienced as I've not gone at any bases so to speak. Is that a huge turn off for women ? I think I come off as a nice guy and a friend kind of guy. Any tips ? Go for some bases?
coolheadal Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 Didn't start dating until 23, due to anxiety and self confidence issues. Recently I have been on a few dates, but they're going nowhere. I feel like girls can tell I'm sexually inexperienced as I've not gone at any bases so to speak. Is that a huge turn off for women ? I think I come off as a nice guy and a friend kind of guy. Any tips ? Wait a minute here stop the presses.. What did you just say here? Come on now do you really think that's what it's all about being a virgin still. Everyone was a virgin too, not just you. Don't let them tell you such a tail. When your ready you will know it to lose it. Build up some self confidence, self esteem and stop living with your head behind your legs. Get out of the friend-zone get out of the kitchen okay wrong term but still you need to be more aggressive, but not over bearing You can be sweet, you can be tough around the edges. You can be what you want to be, but you need to grow some and understand it's not all about sex it's bout who the heck you are inside. Now get out there and be a man and go get a real woman to love you and more.
smackie9 Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 You are ready to give up because you went out on a couple of unsuccessful dates? Dates are unsuccessful for many different reasons and it's not always something so personal as being a virgin. It could be as simple as no compatibility or chemistry. You are going to go through a lot of unsuccessful dates, just like anyone else. Tip: make your goals smaller, like just enjoying the interaction of being with women, learn their body language. Once you gain experience that way, then take it to the next level like holding hands or going in for a hug. When you have such high expectations, all you are doing is getting discouraged. Take baby steps.
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