Jenn2 Posted June 1, 2017 Posted June 1, 2017 So there is this guy who I think is cute....... I knew of him already kind of and saw him out back at a birthday party about a month ago and I'm like what do I do?! He was starring at me that night and I swear he wanted to talk to me but I didn't think anything about it! And I kind of freaked. I am really outgoing but super self conscious so I freak out haha! I added him on FB a few days after back in April and I just completely forgot about him hahahah Well I saw him before I left for a trip about a month after and omg he was glaring at me! He probably thinks there's that crazygirl that I don't know that added me on FB My friends boyfriend knows him so I'm asking Her to get the scoop. I never go out... what do I do? I don't want to just so happen to run into him, I don't get out much anymore! I never act on anything that has to do with guys bc that's just not me but I can't quit thinking about it! It's really weird. I don't even know him but I just have this weird feeling. It freaks me out... I never get like this! He also has a son and I would Never ever have thought I'd be into someone with a child but it doesn't matter with him? Something is weird here hahahaha! One of my girlfriends told me to FB message him! Omg what do I say? I don't want to come off as a crazy! I'm really laid back and that just isn't me. I'm super self conscious and I'm just terrified! But I've been single for some time and need to get out there!!! I live in a small town and the chances of us bumping into each other are slim. I haven't cared for a while but I just can't quit thinking about it!
smackie9 Posted June 1, 2017 Posted June 1, 2017 "Hi I think you are super cute, want to go out sometime?"
CptInsano Posted June 1, 2017 Posted June 1, 2017 Or more specific in case he doesn't remember you. "Hi, remember xyz's birthday party. I didn't get to talk to you then, and I'd really like to get to know you. Are you also going to (insert upcoming event)?" 1
Author Jenn2 Posted June 1, 2017 Author Posted June 1, 2017 Oh gosh I don't know.... is that not creepy? Should I just wait and see if I run across him again? I'm the type of person that wants to take the chance but then it scares the heck out of me. I don't want to come off as a creep : / I know I'm not but still... haha
salparadise Posted June 1, 2017 Posted June 1, 2017 Just do it. Act confident whether you are or not. It's not creepy, and I guarantee nobody is going to judge you harshly. If he's attracted to you, which I think he is based on the looks you've exchanged, it will be welcome and probably open the door to good things. Also, learning to push through your fear will make you feel great. Whenever I've taken a chance and push out of my comfort zone it has felt great and usually had positive results. Take the chance –– you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. 1
Author Jenn2 Posted June 2, 2017 Author Posted June 2, 2017 I'm just so self conscious bc I think I could be skinnier ... I'm afraid I also come off like a bit** bc I am shy at times. I don't feel like I'd meet his standards? But then I'm like wait... He might think he won't meet my standards? I don't know.... I just over think things and never follow through anything. I just can't quit thinking about this! I'm afraid he won't say anything and then omg if I run into him? How humiliating! Won't he think it's weird that I randomly messaged him but can't say hi in public?
TheFinalWord Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 So there is this guy who I think is cute....... I knew of him already kind of and saw him out back at a birthday party about a month ago and I'm like what do I do?! He was starring at me that night and I swear he wanted to talk to me but I didn't think anything about it! And I kind of freaked. I am really outgoing but super self conscious so I freak out haha! I added him on FB a few days after back in April and I just completely forgot about him hahahah Well I saw him before I left for a trip about a month after and omg he was glaring at me! He probably thinks there's that crazygirl that I don't know that added me on FB My friends boyfriend knows him so I'm asking Her to get the scoop. I never go out... what do I do? I don't want to just so happen to run into him, I don't get out much anymore! I never act on anything that has to do with guys bc that's just not me but I can't quit thinking about it! It's really weird. I don't even know him but I just have this weird feeling. It freaks me out... I never get like this! He also has a son and I would Never ever have thought I'd be into someone with a child but it doesn't matter with him? Something is weird here hahahaha! One of my girlfriends told me to FB message him! Omg what do I say? I don't want to come off as a crazy! I'm really laid back and that just isn't me. I'm super self conscious and I'm just terrified! But I've been single for some time and need to get out there!!! I live in a small town and the chances of us bumping into each other are slim. I haven't cared for a while but I just can't quit thinking about it! Bravo for taking the risk! Did he accept your request? If so, why not message him on FB? Just look on his wall and see if you have anything in common that you can message him about. Or you can just message and say hello. If he doesn't respond after a week or so, just assume he isn't interested and then move on from it. I doubt he thinks your crazy; most people connect over social media these days.
Kamille Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 Wait. He glared at you the second time you ran into him? Glared? What's that about? That would turn me off. 1
Author Jenn2 Posted June 2, 2017 Author Posted June 2, 2017 Yes he accepted my request over a month ago!!! I've known of him and we might of hung out back in the day (we are from different towns) but haven't really been introduced. We know of each other. Tons of mutual friends. He didn't glare as in being rude. We had never really had a conversation before or I would of said hi. We ran into each other at a store..... we were far apart. He wasn't being rude... he probably was thinking that's that crazy girl that added me on FB hahaha! Just kidding we do have tons of mutual friends. If I wouldn't of been so caught of guard to look up and see him I would of smiled and said hi.
Phoenician Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 Send him an add about a film or play or event and write under it " Interresting event that are played on day xx, time YY, one should wait for it at ticketing box.." if he grasps the hint , he is yours , otherwise he is an idiot . Best
smackie9 Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 A guy getting hit on by a girl is creepy??? since when? 1
Author Jenn2 Posted June 2, 2017 Author Posted June 2, 2017 I only think its creepy because we've never been formally introduced or hung out... like what would I say? I live in a very small town where everyone knows everyone. I don't want to come off as a weirdo haha! I am not the type of person to statight up ask a guy out... its just not me. I'm too self conscious and I can't do it. I have major anxiety lol I need help with a way on how to stoke up a convo!
smackie9 Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 Ya I know and it's that anxiety is doing all the talking here. If it's a small town, he knows of you for sure. You need to get over this fear. Nothing wrong with just coming out and telling him he's cute....guys like that stuff. Confidence is attractive. just think....how does it make you feel when a guy says to you, that you are super cute? You would be all flushed and flattered. Guys have those emotions too you know.
Author Jenn2 Posted June 2, 2017 Author Posted June 2, 2017 I just have ZERO self confidence. I don't like anything about myself! I feel like I might need to work on that before I can expect anyone else to like me. I'm blonde, blue eyes and try to stay tan! Some people might look at me and think I'm gorgeous (I get told that) but I don't believe them.. I don't know what happened to me! I need to lose some weight and that's another reason why I'm afraid to talk to guys. All of my friends are super skinny and here I am. I've been skinny before and I was so self confidant. (Years ago) Then a part of me might think hm... maybe he is scarred of me? Maybe he thinks I'm "too pretty" for him and then I laugh because that isn't it. It's so hard to lose weight and I've struggled with it. I'm in no way obese I'm just super tall and curvy. I'm not writing all of this to get anyone to feel sorry for me... I'm just venting!!! It's hard being a girl! It might be hard to believe but I am very shy as well. I think it has to do with my lack of self confidence. I'm afraid he thinks I'm a "snooty bi***" bc he was right there by me and I didn't say anything. I just freaked out! I could tell he wanted to talk to me.
Author Jenn2 Posted June 2, 2017 Author Posted June 2, 2017 I didn't show any interest. A friend tried to hook me up with a guy a while back and she told him I thought he was cute and when we all hung out, I froze! And he asked her "are you sure she was into me" bc I just got so awkward! I felt like I didn't look pretty enough that night to talk to him!!
smackie9 Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 If you have no self confidence about yourself, you are not ready to date. When it's a hindrance it's time to seek proper therapy. If you are in therapy, it's not working, find someone else. The title of this thread should read "How to I develop confidence and learn to love myself".
Bastile Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 I just have ZERO self confidence. I don't like anything about myself! I feel like I might need to work on that before I can expect anyone else to like me. I'm blonde, blue eyes and try to stay tan! Some people might look at me and think I'm gorgeous (I get told that) but I don't believe them.. I don't know what happened to me! I need to lose some weight and that's another reason why I'm afraid to talk to guys. All of my friends are super skinny and here I am. I've been skinny before and I was so self confidant. (Years ago) Then a part of me might think hm... maybe he is scarred of me? Maybe he thinks I'm "too pretty" for him and then I laugh because that isn't it. It's so hard to lose weight and I've struggled with it. I'm in no way obese I'm just super tall and curvy. I'm not writing all of this to get anyone to feel sorry for me... I'm just venting!!! It's hard being a girl! It might be hard to believe but I am very shy as well. I think it has to do with my lack of self confidence. I'm afraid he thinks I'm a "snooty bi***" bc he was right there by me and I didn't say anything. I just freaked out! I could tell he wanted to talk to me. We all have insecurities. It's completely normal. Approaching someone you like, especially a relative stranger, is one of the most difficult social interactions that we can have. What I've learnt is that insecurities don't disappear. They come from fear. Fear is always there on some level when we approach someone that we like. It's a good thing. Life would be boring without it. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Only difference between you, and someone that does it often, is that the more experienced has learnt better to manage the fear/insecurity. None of us are carved from stone
Author Jenn2 Posted June 2, 2017 Author Posted June 2, 2017 Oh I love myself. I am a great person with a huge heart! I have an amazing life! I'm a people person! I have goals in life. Just have problem with looks : ) 1
Bastile Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 If you have no self confidence about yourself, you are not ready to date. When it's a hindrance it's time to seek proper therapy. If you are in therapy, it's not working, find someone else. The title of this thread should read "How to I develop confidence and learn to love myself". Therapy isn't the answer to all of life's problems. Give me the average "therapist", and I'll take him out. We'll see how secure he really is. Easy to sit around theorizing and taking people's money.
Author Jenn2 Posted June 2, 2017 Author Posted June 2, 2017 Yeah that's not why I wrote this post at all! I'm wanting advice on how to approach him or if I should at all? Need ideas on what I could say!
smackie9 Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 +But the thing is with all the suggestions made, we are hit with "NO I CAN"T DO THAT!" So that means there isn't really anyway to "approach" when you can't bring yourself to do it in any manner or form.
Kamille Posted June 3, 2017 Posted June 3, 2017 Oh I love myself. I am a great person with a huge heart! I have an amazing life! I'm a people person! I have goals in life. Just have problem with looks : ) Oh how I wish I hadn't spent my 20s thinking up "problems with looks". I thought I wasn't as pretty as everyone else and would do exactly what you describe. Now, when I look at pictures of me back then, I think I'm absolutely cute, charming and understand why guys I know later reported that they had a crush on me but that I was unapproachable and hard to read. Don't be like I was. Don't let your fears get the in the way. Guys need encouragement to ask you out. They need to know you're approachable. They need to know you're interested. I wish there was a magic pill you could take that would take that insecurity away. It's a total waste of time and opportunities, as you are learning.
Author Jenn2 Posted June 4, 2017 Author Posted June 4, 2017 I know.. it's so hard! I think I'm just so afraid of rejection. I just don't know how to approach him or how to start up a convo! I so would I just want to in a mature way and not turn him off and him think I'm a freak
coolheadal Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 (edited) I know.. it's so hard! I think I'm just so afraid of rejection. I just don't know how to approach him or how to start up a convo! I so would I just want to in a mature way and not turn him off and him think I'm a freak Do want a piece of advise your not really ready to ask, or to be asked out just yet, because all what you said so far. 1. Where you raised by two loving parents? If so did these parents show you love, like I love you, your my best little girl, we're so happy to have you in our family. Did you get all of that when you were growing up? Please answer truthfully? Something is wrong here with you. Your all over the place with emotions. Your not stable yet to be with a guy or any guy. You need to find your true self and to know what love is all about. You might love yourself that's great but can you love someone else but you? Find a quiet place in your house or even sit in the closet. If you have cell that can get on youtube? You need to silent to: 8 Hour Sleeping Music, Music Meditation: Delta Waves, Deep Sleep Music, Relaxing Music, ☯177 YellowBrickCinema - Relaxing Music Meditation you need this in your life you need to find the inner self of your being so you can cope with the life around you. Once you can fulfill this part of your life then you can meet guys and find that love you seek. You lonely now but one day you will have that guy you seek. Try this too.. Repeat after me, I am who I am, I am loved by many, I can do anything I set my mind too, I am me, I am who I want to be, because I am free of pain and fear. I do not fear anything, I do not care what others say about me, I only care about me. I am who I am, because I am me! Start saying that ever chance you can get.. You ask how to meet this guy or get this attention, You can do this, carry something in your hands then drop them in front of him, try to go pick them up and let him do and say the rest. Just smile and say thank you.. If he asked your name just say it! Because remember you are me! Edited June 4, 2017 by coolheadal
Author Jenn2 Posted June 4, 2017 Author Posted June 4, 2017 Thank you for the advice but I didn't mean for any of this to come off like that! I have a wonderful life with a wonderful family! I am too blessed almost... I just came here for some man advice! I don't need any help or anything like that : ) I haven't dated in quite some time and just needed a little help with how to get things going! One friends tells me to message him and one says that's creepy so I was torn.
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