Fresnite Posted June 1, 2017 Posted June 1, 2017 How? Like its so hard. Every bone in my body aches because I want to text/call her when she said she would text/call me later. And it's like i did it in the past, she would answer or respond and i feel good again. She herself is kind of clingy, but I'm showing a lot of interest and pursuit, so i think she is falling back. Like she let me know she is, but because I'm showing her a lot of attention she is playing it more cool than me. I don't want to lose this one by showing her to much attention or not enough, because one day i was busy we didn't text much and she was upset with that. I Just need advice how to play it cool and have patience.
Author Fresnite Posted June 1, 2017 Author Posted June 1, 2017 You guys are mean lol, 50 views and no responses? Lol You are playing into my impatience, haha.
todreaminblue Posted June 1, 2017 Posted June 1, 2017 (edited) basically fi you realize its not something you can control and fill your time doing other things you love doing a pet hate of mine is a person who doesnt reply.....i am ocd about it actually because i end up feeling like maybe i said something wrong or maybe something bad happened to them........and i go into panic mode and get anxiety.....luckily people who care about me know this...and they answer as soon as they can...... my anxiety is something i have to live with i manage it the best i can...its attached to my depression....and to feelings of inadequacy....my hands shake my voice shakes i get light headed and if its really bad ....i hyperventilate..or retch ....the walls close in on me.....i feel trapped....and i have passed out.......havent had an attack as bad as that for years now.....i feel blessed.... and again with my anxiety i try to take my mind off the immediate threat i feel....whatever that threat may be......ill do things i love or ill deep breathe and manage my breathing.......ill listen to music....or watch something soothing...or listen to a soothing voice i love.... talking about anything but what i am thinking of......i gravitate to tones......tonal therapy a soothing voice....will help me find my calm place..... so ..... thats how i manage ocd behaviors(has elements of impatience fi you think about it).....or anxiety or even sometimes sadness.....i used to dance it out.... today i felt anxious so i made soup all day with my new soup maker got on here a few times i have been making immune building soups......my soup maker is my new best friend.....scaring the crap out of my kids because its on automatic and blends when it feels like blending ......lol.......hee hee...ahem...laughter is good....relieves many things impatience being one......so does chicken soup...its good for the soul.....i would send some...my tribe would fight you for it though.....smilin...make soup..... whenever you feel impatient..chop veggies dice onion...and make soup...i have made four soups today.....yep i was anxious.....i call it soup therapy...impress your gf with your soup making ability next time your are impatiently waiting ...make the soup and when she texts you invite her to dinner...crusty home made bread...and a soup dinner date........have a :cool:soupy kinda day........deb Edited June 1, 2017 by todreaminblue 2
Gaeta Posted June 1, 2017 Posted June 1, 2017 Being patient means different things for different people. Are you dating exclusively? how often do you see each other? I am a big believer that if it's meant to be, if you are compatible, than it will just unfold naturally without any hurt and frustration. If you have to force it, if your path is full of bump than don't force it, just find someone better suited for you. 2
Author Fresnite Posted June 1, 2017 Author Posted June 1, 2017 basically fi you realize its not something you can control and fill your time doing other things you love doing a pet hate of mine is a person who doesnt reply.....i am ocd about it actually because i end up feeling like maybe i said something wrong or maybe something bad happened to them........and i go into panic mode and get anxiety..... This is me, I get anxious and worry if something bad happened, because crazy stuff does happen in this world. Especially if they normally reply rather well and are consistent. The next time they don't reply at all that day, i feel like my life is over lol. Its not funny, but kind of. I'm very sociable. Especially if I'm into someone romantically and we are exclusive i want as much time with them as possible, text/call/ in person. Thanks though to you both for the advice. 1
todreaminblue Posted June 1, 2017 Posted June 1, 2017 This is me, I get anxious and worry if something bad happened, because crazy stuff does happen in this world. Especially if they normally reply rather well and are consistent. The next time they don't reply at all that day, i feel like my life is over lol. Its not funny, but kind of. I'm very sociable. Especially if I'm into someone romantically and we are exclusive i want as much time with them as possible, text/call/ in person. Thanks though to you both for the advice. with my anxiety doesnt help i have horrible nightmares...after any anxiety...had a persistent last night.....i kept waking myself up and kept going back in to the same nightmare i just hope it doesnt turn into a waking one.....a premonition..it felt ...like it..it was too real....and i couldnt interact with my family...pretty sure i was dead in it...i also have complete recall........so tired today because i was fighting to stay awake and not go back in..... as far as spending as much time as possible with an intimate partner thats understandable but...you have to take in to account the other persons needs and wants...as far as communication goes it should be at a level that's comfortable for both and i feel this organically happens anyway......as long as there is openness and honesty..... when someone truly cares and they know that you have that anxiety normally making your partner feel better and secure is what a person will want to do ...it is for me anyway..its what i want to do ...make a partner feel good and secure in being with me in all aspects of the relationship.....i feel its something people in love should do not only need to do ...but really want to do.......having a good communications style in person will help this organic transferrence into other forms of communication to happen.....i wish you well fresnite...deb 1
spiderowl Posted June 1, 2017 Posted June 1, 2017 I think it depends on what her pace is like with regard to texts/calls. If you do too much, she'll feel smothered and start to back off. If you do too little, she will wonder if you are busy texting someone else or have gone off her. I would just be consistent and assure her of your interest and see how she responds. I am sure you can gauge it so that she is responding with happy texts rather than minimal ones. For me, it's not so much how often he texts or messages, but if he maintains it and assures me he is interested and misses me. I'm fairly intense myself so if I like someone I really want them to show me they feel they same. I like predictability:) 2
Author Fresnite Posted June 2, 2017 Author Posted June 2, 2017 (edited) I think it depends on what her pace is like with regard to texts/calls. If you do too much, she'll feel smothered and start to back off. If you do too little, she will wonder if you are busy texting someone else or have gone off her. I would just be consistent and assure her of your interest and see how she responds. I am sure you can gauge it so that she is responding with happy texts rather than minimal ones. For me, it's not so much how often he texts or messages, but if he maintains it and assures me he is interested and misses me. I'm fairly intense myself so if I like someone I really want them to show me they feel they same. I like predictability:) as far as spending as much time as possible with an intimate partner thats understandable but...you have to take in to account the other persons needs and wants...as far as communication goes it should be at a level that's comfortable for both and i feel this organically happens anyway......as long as there is openness and honesty..... when someone truly cares and they know that you have that anxiety normally making your partner feel better and secure is what a person will want to do ...it is for me anyway..its what i want to do ...make a partner feel good and secure in being with me in all aspects of the relationship.....i feel its something people in love should do not only need to do ...but really want to do.......having a good communications style in person will help this organic transferrence into other forms of communication to happen.....i wish you well fresnite...deb I really appreciate these responses. I agree with what you both say. Ok so our relationship is new, but neither of us want to play games or deal with all the bs of "fake" relationships. So we both have the goal of ltr in mind, she has been hurt in the past. She told me up front that she might text me sometimes out of the blue asking me "are we still alright?" Like she explained it's because she is insecure. She hasn't done that yet though because i tend to text her throughout the day letting her know she's on my mind. But, now it's definitely probably because she is busy, but because of my continuous and consistent texting it seems like she does it less now and is also less available. So I'm not entirely sure if I'm doing it to much and she's pulling back, or because i am consistently reassuring her she is comfortable and feels secure so she is relaxed? Obviously i hope it's the latter lol. When she does text though whether it's within a 5 minute reply or 2 hours, she does always refer to me as "handsome" or "babe" so she's saying cute stuff which to me reaffirms her interest, but when she says she will call me later or text me when she gets home and never does it makes me concerned and wonder.... I mean honestly she has A LOT on her plate which I understand that she might be and probably is to busy to text me or call me which i do understand most of the time. But How hard is it to really send a text? I mean after I say good morning, she will respond, always has with that and we generally exchange a few texts while she is at work but when she gets out we might talk, but when she gets home there is nothing else, no "I'm home" or "goodnight". I always send a text or try to call with no answer or response at night. I always say goodnight without a response. The following morning I'm always the one to say god morning but i do get a response from that. I'm probably over thinking it, its just I'm trying to form an actual conversation with her instead of just random "reassurance" texts throughout her work day. She does have a lot of responsibility though in her life outside work too. I dunno maybe i just have to be more patient, but its so hard because i want to be engaged with this girl (engaged as in like active full on attention, not marriage lol) i want to know more about her, but i feel it's awkward to text and ask deep or serious questions randomly knowing she is at work. And I just feel if it's all repetitive "I'm thinking of you texts" that the interest will diminish. Also admittedly I have fleeting thoughts if she is texting or talking with other guys. I REALLY don't believe this, but i know it's a possibility. But i dunno....i hope not lol Sorry about the length, but I legit care about this lol. Edited June 2, 2017 by Fresnite
Author Fresnite Posted June 2, 2017 Author Posted June 2, 2017 No more advice knowing that last chapter I wrote? Lol
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