Noctu Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 (edited) it has been at least 6 years... Maybe even longer, I don't remember the exact dates. But at least six years ago, I dated a guy whom I met at school. He was this guy I really liked and looked up to. He was so out of my league tho, at least that's what I thought. During my last year at that school, he invited me for a party at his place during "carnaval" I ended up spending the night there. During this party it became pretty obvious he was into me and the next day he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. Obviously I did. We ended up dating for nearly one year but it never ended there. We broke up because I got way to clingy and he either was or became to distant. During the relationship it got so bad that eventually I ended up saying "I love you more!" and he agreed that I did. As this guy took my virginity, and was the first person I truly fell in love with and I never really managed to let go. A lot of things happened, mostly because I was really clingy and basically stalked him for a while. We were friends with benefits for one moment, sworn enemies the other. For the duration of two years after the break up I tried every possible thing I could think of to try and get him back. Without any success. After this he still never left my thoughts. To this day I still dream about him occasionally. I do realize that it'll probably never work between us again. He has another girlfriend now, who's way prettier than me and they've been dating for more than a year now, according to a friend they're planning on living together. This still kinda breaks my heart, even though I don't want it to. Since I've been dating someone for over 3 years now. My current relationship is ten times better than the relationship I used to have with him. But I still miss him, I still dream about him and I still feel guilty about everything I did back then. I must add, I think that because he rejects me so much that's probably one of the reasons why I want to contact him so badly. After the break up he never called or texted or wanted to see if I'm okay and it stings so much that I care about him so much while it seems like he doesn't care about me at all. I don't know what to do here, I feel like it's best just to "let go" but I don't know how, hopefully someone can help me here... I just want to be able to move on but it feels impossible. Edited May 4, 2017 by Noctu
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 Stop romanticizing the loss of your virginity & work on your own self esteem. He was your 1st lover but not your last. Your intellect realizes your current relationship is better than that one so why you do want something inferior. Your EXs new GF isn't "prettier than you"; she's different, You are pretty in your own way. If you remain hung up on this EX, seek therapy. 6 years is too long to be hanging onto something that wasn't working anyway.
Recommended Posts