NEB01 Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 So I met a girl on the weekend by complete fluke, we all went out with friends and ended up staying at a friends (another couple) just her and I. I made no attempt to sleep with her or anything but after talking all night she asked if I wanted to cuddle her. I didn’t try to have sex with her or anything but we hooked up all night. The next morning she gave me her number because I had to drive a girl home (just a friend). She was telling her friend how she thought I was nice and how good looking I was etc. etc. So we had been talking steady and she told me multiple times how interested she was in me and how much fun she had the night we were together. Last night we went to a concert together, the concert was fine, she was putting her head on my shoulder, kissing etc. Anyways, the concert completely sucked so we left and went to get food, it was a little bit awkward and she was telling me get off my phone and stuff (I was looking at the weather) and also said something to the point of I was different than when we had met on the weekend. When we left the place we were eating she just gave me a peck and a hug and we parted ways. I had a gut feeling something was wrong, so when I got home I texted her and just said “did you make it home?” and she said “yep just got home” to which I responded “I just pulled in as well” then she didn’t respond (it was like 10:30). This morning I texted her and said I’m guessing you really don’t want to hangout again. And she responded “I didn’t say that, last night just wasn’t what I expected.” I just asked why and to keep a long story short she responded with “I felt like you weren’t listening to me and I had to keep repeating myself” and stuff like I don’t realize how privileged I am which I really don’t get. Anyways I just said you have to give me a couple dates as I have some serious comfort and eye contact issues with people I’m uncomfortable with. And she said “Okay I’ll give you some leeway, you were really funny and nice to strangers and very beautiful.” The communication between us has been kind of ****ty all day, I’m putting in all the effort and she told me one of my friends texted her and that hes “nice.” I know he has been texting her but he also doesn’t know were hanging out. She has asked me to come to her town this Saturday for Dinner and a Movie to try again, but I’m still getting a bad vibe because her attempts to keep a conversation going are pretty weak compared to before. She just texted me and said that she “is really impressed how I handled her criticism this morning” Is she just really trying to make me work for this or is she just way too hard to satisfy?
mikeylo Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 She isnt interested for some reason and instead of saying it straight up, is dropping hints. Not the right way but thats how she is doing it.
Author NEB01 Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 She isnt interested for some reason and instead of saying it straight up, is dropping hints. Not the right way but thats how she is doing it. I was thinking the same but like seeing as though she was so honest about how she felt I feel like she woulda just told me. I also feel she wouldn't have asked me to do something Saturday multiple times if she wasn't interested.
angel.eyes Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Not a good idea to be focused on your phone during a date...ESPECIALLY... when your date complains during the date about how you're focused on your phone not her. No surprises that this is now swirling down the drain! ...Last night we went to a concert together, the concert was fine, she was putting her head on my shoulder, kissing etc. Anyways, the concert completely sucked so we left and went to get food, it was a little bit awkward and she was telling me get off my phone and stuff (I was looking at the weather) and also said something to the point of I was different than when we had met on the weekend. When we left the place we were eating she just gave me a peck and a hug and we parted ways. ..... This morning I texted her and said I’m guessing you really don’t want to hangout again. And she responded “I didn’t say that, last night just wasn’t what I expected." I just asked why and to keep a long story short she responded with “I felt like you weren’t listening to me and I had to keep repeating myself” and stuff like I don’t realize how privileged I am which I really don’t get. 3
ZHguy Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 My first reaction was.... 'this B****!'. But maybe because I've barely had success with women. This girl sounds like she expects the world to be some sort of theatrical experience to her, moving to her every whim. I wouldn't text someone critically if it didn't go how I expected it to go. At least not in the first month of dating. That's if I'm not wrong in that this is like the first month (or equivalent if you've been on and off) of dating. I'm just throwing out what I'm thinking here, but if that were me, I'd be working hard to make this a relationship, by effort to 'win you over'. But, you may not notice some of the flaws you may have had. If you thought she was a nice girl to date, and you knew she liked you. You should also have been putting in the effort. Eye contact, listening to her, etc. Just think to yourself, is this girl worth it? Also have a think to see if there's any room for improvement to work on for yourself.
J21 Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 (edited) She doesn't seem too crazy about you based on the replies you've been getting (or the lack of conversation material). How long were you on your phone? If you were just checking the weather it should take like 20 seconds at max. If you were having a good time, you wouldn't have been really on your phone. That's the que she is picking up on. I don't care how lame the concert was, if you enjoy someone's company you are still able to have a good time. You're pretty much on thin ice, girls like to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and give them up to 3 dates. (Assuming she has nothing else going on). If she has other guys lined up or on a dating app, you're 3 tries are pretty much 2. Better get over that "no eye contact" thing and get off your phone for date #2. Edited May 31, 2017 by J21
smackie9 Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Sorry guys but if I was out on a first date...and my date was on his phone, there would be no second date. DEALBREAKER. It's not rocket science...you focus on your date. That isn't being high maintenance, it's about having good manners. if you need to go on your phone excuse yourself and go to the can. Checking your phone, having it on the table, etc is just plain rude. If you want to get into a girl's pants, you need to romance her, be focused and respectful...be a gentleman. Show that you ARE interested in what she has to say, and want to get to know her, enjoy her company. What the weather is, or what the baseball score is, should not be a concern. Jeez Louis! if the date starts to suck, put on a happy face and be positive anyways! 2
Author NEB01 Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 She just texted me and said she got concert tickets for us on Friday like what the heck haha 1
coolheadal Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 So I met a girl on the weekend by complete fluke, we all went out with friends and ended up staying at a friends (another couple) just her and I. I made no attempt to sleep with her or anything but after talking all night she asked if I wanted to cuddle her. I didn’t try to have sex with her or anything but we hooked up all night. The next morning she gave me her number because I had to drive a girl home (just a friend). She was telling her friend how she thought I was nice and how good looking I was etc. etc. So we had been talking steady and she told me multiple times how interested she was in me and how much fun she had the night we were together. Last night we went to a concert together, the concert was fine, she was putting her head on my shoulder, kissing etc. Anyways, the concert completely sucked so we left and went to get food, it was a little bit awkward and she was telling me get off my phone and stuff (I was looking at the weather) and also said something to the point of I was different than when we had met on the weekend. When we left the place we were eating she just gave me a peck and a hug and we parted ways. I had a gut feeling something was wrong, so when I got home I texted her and just said “did you make it home?” and she said “yep just got home” to which I responded “I just pulled in as well” then she didn’t respond (it was like 10:30). This morning I texted her and said I’m guessing you really don’t want to hangout again. And she responded “I didn’t say that, last night just wasn’t what I expected.” I just asked why and to keep a long story short she responded with “I felt like you weren’t listening to me and I had to keep repeating myself” and stuff like I don’t realize how privileged I am which I really don’t get. Anyways I just said you have to give me a couple dates as I have some serious comfort and eye contact issues with people I’m uncomfortable with. And she said “Okay I’ll give you some leeway, you were really funny and nice to strangers and very beautiful.” The communication between us has been kind of ****ty all day, I’m putting in all the effort and she told me one of my friends texted her and that hes “nice.” I know he has been texting her but he also doesn’t know were hanging out. She has asked me to come to her town this Saturday for Dinner and a Movie to try again, but I’m still getting a bad vibe because her attempts to keep a conversation going are pretty weak compared to before. She just texted me and said that she “is really impressed how I handled her criticism this morning” Is she just really trying to make me work for this or is she just way too hard to satisfy? Forget her! She has issues and your not happy with her already. Why did you go and look on your phone for the weather that's a no, no on date. If she did that I would have just walked away.. That all means that she wasn't that important enough for you. Date is 100% attention driver. Cell is the distraction from a bad date. You blew it, there and she has some mental issues. For get her and move on.. Really can't understand someone who's still a stranger and forget what friends say about all of this. They are voicing their own ideas. I frankly don't get it why you didn't act more about her comments then put up with her demurer..
Imajerk17 Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Lemme get this straight: You had a beautiful interested girl in front of you, but you were distracted because, you had to check the weather That's a new one indeed! Go on the date w her this weeknd and this time *focus on her*! 4
mrs rubble Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 She just texted me and said she got concert tickets for us on Friday like what the heck haha cool, leave your phone at home this time. 2
KBob Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 She just texted me and said she got concert tickets for us on Friday like what the heck haha You are massively over analysing everything. Why would you see anything wrong at all with her doing that for you? She picked up concert tickets FOR YOU. To go out with WITH YOU. She's interested IN YOU. Stop analysing her actions, relax and go have a good time with her. And stay off your phone. 2
Author NEB01 Posted June 1, 2017 Author Posted June 1, 2017 Just to be clear I was checking the weather because she wanted to do something on the weekend. Shes come around now and we are back to normal. I'm thinking she just really wants to see me work.
dishwater Posted June 1, 2017 Posted June 1, 2017 So I met a girl on the weekend by complete fluke, we all went out with friends and ended up staying at a friends (another couple) just her and I. I made no attempt to sleep with her or anything but after talking all night she asked if I wanted to cuddle her. I didn’t try to have sex with her or anything but we hooked up all night. The next morning she gave me her number because I had to drive a girl home (just a friend). She was telling her friend how she thought I was nice and how good looking I was etc. etc. So we had been talking steady and she told me multiple times how interested she was in me and how much fun she had the night we were together. Last night we went to a concert together, the concert was fine, she was putting her head on my shoulder, kissing etc. Anyways, the concert completely sucked so we left and went to get food, it was a little bit awkward and she was telling me get off my phone and stuff (I was looking at the weather) and also said something to the point of I was different than when we had met on the weekend. When we left the place we were eating she just gave me a peck and a hug and we parted ways. I had a gut feeling something was wrong, so when I got home I texted her and just said “did you make it home?” and she said “yep just got home” to which I responded “I just pulled in as well” then she didn’t respond (it was like 10:30). This morning I texted her and said I’m guessing you really don’t want to hangout again. And she responded “I didn’t say that, last night just wasn’t what I expected.” I just asked why and to keep a long story short she responded with “I felt like you weren’t listening to me and I had to keep repeating myself” and stuff like I don’t realize how privileged I am which I really don’t get. Anyways I just said you have to give me a couple dates as I have some serious comfort and eye contact issues with people I’m uncomfortable with. And she said “Okay I’ll give you some leeway, you were really funny and nice to strangers and very beautiful.” The communication between us has been kind of ****ty all day, I’m putting in all the effort and she told me one of my friends texted her and that hes “nice.” I know he has been texting her but he also doesn’t know were hanging out. She has asked me to come to her town this Saturday for Dinner and a Movie to try again, but I’m still getting a bad vibe because her attempts to keep a conversation going are pretty weak compared to before. She just texted me and said that she “is really impressed how I handled her criticism this morning” Is she just really trying to make me work for this or is she just way too hard to satisfy? Sounds like she has trust issues and hasn't been treated well by boyfriends in the past. Whether she's too much work depends on how much you like her. Asking her about her dating or family history might help, or not. She seems like a gal in need of comfort. If you don't want to provide that, it might be better to break away.
Maggie4 Posted June 1, 2017 Posted June 1, 2017 She seems open, and straightforward. She told you to get off your phone. Clear instructions on what she needs. You know how many men wish a woman will always tell exactly what she wants him to do? Her reply to you about getting home safely - it was normal. What else is there to say? Maybe you wanted to continue the discussion or be reassured. No problem. If you want that, ask for it. She can't read your mind. Next morning, because you had not been reassured, you decide to escalate it by saying I guess you don't want to see me anymore. WTH? That came out of nowhere. There's some kind of role reversal here of typical men/women behavior in relationships. Or it's like she's having to mother you. People behave according to personality, together with what they learned from their parents, or in many cases these days, single parents that are often the mother. Some boys end up ultra sensitive and resentful towards female criticism. Just don't worry! 2
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