jamesholver Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 (edited) I'm 39 years old [and] I have been married for only 4 years and already my marriage has seemed to hit a wall so to speak. Since when in a relationship feeling like roommates feels more appropriate then feeling like lovers? I have tried counseling with her, going on vacation together, being home more often and nothing seems to work. I don't want to be 30 years old and divorced. As I said I'm not old, and I know I suddenly did not put on 50 pounds and turn ugly. I am 6'1, in good shape, take care of myself, get hit on when I go out (never jumped on an opportunity but recently questioning if I should) Is this normal for marriages? If you are in a similar situation I would love to hear from you.:) Edited May 31, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
William Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Moderator bump due to extended auto-moderation of post that deserved a topic of its own.
alsudduth Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 What does your Wife say the problem is? I assume since you've tried counseling she is aware you feel this way, what does she say about it? P.S. DO NOT CHEAT! I REPEAT DO NOT CHEAT. (as tempting as it is)
mikeylo Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 I'm 39 years old [and] I have been married for only 4 years and already my marriage has seemed to hit a wall so to speak. Since when in a relationship feeling like roommates feels more appropriate then feeling like lovers? I have tried counseling with her, going on vacation together, being home more often and nothing seems to work. I don't want to be 30 years old and divorced. As I said I'm not old, and I know I suddenly did not put on 50 pounds and turn ugly. I am 6'1, in good shape, take care of myself, get hit on when I go out (never jumped on an opportunity but recently questioning if I should) Is this normal for marriages? If you are in a similar situation I would love to hear from you.:) Thats good humour lol ! How old are you actually? Your wife? Kids? If you are just bored, try rekindling it ! 1
Grumpybutfun Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 James, Could you be a bit more specific in what exactly makes you feel like roommates rather than lovers and spouses? This topic can be cavernous without parameters. Thanks, G
Texashunter Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 I've been where you are..the result was my wife was having an affair..a 17 month long affair that needed because the guy dumped her..nothing I did would have fixed her or made her stop..hope it's not the same for you.. 1
Unforseen Posted June 1, 2017 Posted June 1, 2017 James, Could you be a bit more specific in what exactly makes you feel like roommates rather than lovers and spouses? This topic can be cavernous without parameters. Thanks, G Additionally, James, what do you think you are missing from the relationship that would make it feel like a marriage and not like a pair of room mates? What needs do you have and how are they or how are they not being met? Has your roomie expressed any of her needs through counseling? If she has, what have you done to meet her needs and how did she react?
Happily_married Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 Are you having emotional AND sexual connections together? Both types help build intimacy. Sharing a new experience together helps. Do you have a healthy communication together?
Tfence61 Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 I know exactly what your saying. I have been in a sexless marriage for almost as long as we have been married. I have told my husband on many ocassions I feel like we're just roommates or I feel like I'm married to my brother. I have tried everything to understand why he is like this he won't do counseling and for some reason it is always my fault, your mean to me, you never want to be with me, you never come to bed when I do. I have changed my ways towards him and guess what? nothing, he just ignores me as usual. He has health issues and I understand 1000000% but there are ways around these problems and he just doesn't want to try. I told him once during a fight that just because he is broken does not mean in any way that I am. I just feel very sad and lonely knowing he really isn't to interested in my feelings.I don't want to divorce him I truly love this man. Maybe I should by a vibrator and call it good. 1
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