clee630 Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Hey everyone, So my ex (M/21) broke up with me (F/18) last week because he was feeling indifferent about me after I threatened suicide. I tried giving him some space and time to think about how he really felt but he still broke up with me. I have been battling depression throughout this year and have been seeking psychological help recently. I am currently trying out NC since the breakup to try and get better as well as improve myself physically. I am planning to contact him again after a month of NC but do you guys think he abandoned me when I needed him the most or was it understandable? Also, do you think he'll love me again again seeing how much I've improved? Thanks for your opinion!
GorillaTheater Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Leaving you wasn't exactly noble, but it's understandable to a large extent. Depression can break marriages, let alone other relationships. It almost broke mine, when it took me way too long to seek help, and I didn't even throw out a suicide threat. To be clear, I thought about it, but would never let the words leave my lips. I don't know how long you had been dating, but that sort of thing is a bombshell which few people are equipped to deal with. Even without a suicide threat, dealing with a clinically depressed person is a taxing, thankless job. Your priority needs to be you and getting healthy. I hope you're doing better now.
Author clee630 Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 Thanks for your reply! Hope everything is well now with your family we've been dating for almost 1.5 years... does him being indifferent about me hinder my chances of being with him again? How did you manage to mend your family?
preraph Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 You can't stay with someone who threatens suicide. I'm glad you got psychological help because that is all you need right now. If you are truly suicidal, you need to be just working on yourself. If you are threatening suicide to try to force someone to give you more attention, then shame on you and you still need psychological help worst of all. He can't help you if you're so low you're threatening suicide for whatever reason. Trying to guilt him now for not hanging around to watch you self-destruct, that's why he's not real happy right now. I hope you feel better soon. Stay in therapy and take meds if they're prescribed as they're prescribed and no excuses about that, and learn a new way to cope. Good luck.
GorillaTheater Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 It took a lot of time for my wife to trust the changes and improvements she saw in me. Look, I don't want to raise your hopes that you'll ever get back together with this guy. Your best bet is to work on yourself so that you can be the best version of you for the next partner in your life. Don't let any longing for this guy hold you back from getting yourself to a good place.
d0nnivain Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 What he did certainly wasn't kind, but it's understandable. I am the depressed person but you can't expect a young person to stand by their SO in a time of crisis like that. Most people are not equipped to deal with somebody else's illness - mental or physical. The depressed person becomes an albatross around their neck. They can't fix it. They can't change it & it's painful to watch. I'm glad you are getting help. NC is a healing tool & I hope it helps you. Sadly you have to let him go. You are not going to be magically better with all forgiven in 1 month. Depression is an incurable illness that lasts a lifetime. Even when you get to a point where it's manageable, it's always there,just below the surface. Leave this guy be. Work on yourself. Do your therapy. Move forward in your own life. Years from now when the acute pain of the BU subsides, you will look back fondly on this early relationship but it's not meant to be happily ever after. Sorry. 1
Ronnys93 Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 It's possible to have healthy relationships while you have depression, and if you establish good boundaries and communicate what you NEED while you are having a depressive episode. At the moment, you need to focus on yourself. Forget this other person. Honestly, your partner may not have been able to deal with you while being depressed. It can take a lot out of another person. I personally wouldn't just up and leave, and offer support the best I could, but it's not that easy for everyone. It takes someone who truly understands what it means to offer support. Work on yourself, get yourself on the track to a healthier life, and then you can incorporate dating.
Recommended Posts