prepdream Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 I have been dating this guy exclusively for nearly 7 months. It's always great when we are together, he texts me daily, cares for me and we do stuffs together. I often come over to his house, sometimes even stay there for the whole weekend. However, when there is vacation (we are both in college) and we have to spend time apart in different countries, he suddenly becomes distant. Last Christmas, he would go days without initiating texts and takes hours to respond. When we came back, things became normal again. Now, when summer vacation starts, this happens again, but even more intense as yesterday he would not respond to my text for 14 hours. I know he has work, but fact is that he is still online on Facebook most of the time, and even texting other people (we are in the same circle, and he is a really close friend with a girl who I know he stills texts her as usual, same as another friend). I am wondering if this is a normal behaviour, or that he is losing interests?
d0nnivain Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 To some people it's out of sight out of mind. I would feel smothered by him texting all the time at school but then hurt with the limited contact over break. Talk to him about how you feel & how much contact you want while school is out. You will probably get more than he wants to give but less than you prefer which is the hallmark of a good compromise. 3
Author prepdream Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 To some people it's out of sight out of mind. I would feel smothered by him texting all the time at school but then hurt with the limited contact over break. Talk to him about how you feel & how much contact you want while school is out. You will probably get more than he wants to give but less than you prefer which is the hallmark of a good compromise. I realised that I haven't talked to him about it, probably I should sometimes. It's just the fact that he is acting distant with me but normal with other friends (who also live abroad during the time) really confuses me given we are dating. It just seems a bit odd for me. But thank you for your response
smackie9 Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Sometimes it's good to take a break and have some space to do your own thing. remember he doesn't have his friends sleeping over most weekends or even see them as much as he sees you. He is catching up or regrouping with his friends because of him paying more attention to you. Call it a health balance. 4
preraph Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 I'm not going to candycoat this. Men are very visual and in my experience over the years, it's out of sight, out of mind. Now, you have the technology to skype or face message on your smartphone, so do that as often as possible and keep him looking at you. But a person separated for months will have another life.
leogirl876 Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 In my experience, men that acted like that were men who had another woman that I didn't know about.
Author prepdream Posted June 1, 2017 Author Posted June 1, 2017 (edited) To be fair, I don't have any trust issues that much, he does not text many girls as far as I know, except for his best friend (who I know is totally platonic) and another girl in the group who already has a boyfriend. All I can think of is that either he is stressed with his work, or that I suddenly text him slightly more than usual, or he needs space as pointed out above (which seems bit legit as we basically spent time together nearly 24/7 the past 2 months). But then it still bugs me that he doesn't spare time even a minute to reply me back. The last time he did, the messages were still sweet and he was teasing me instead of one word reply. I teased him back, and he still hasn't replied since yesterday afternoon, although he was active on facebook until 2am (we contact each other through Messenger). Should I just leave it for a while and wait for him to text me, or any other ideas? Edited June 1, 2017 by prepdream
dishwater Posted June 1, 2017 Posted June 1, 2017 I have been dating this guy exclusively for nearly 7 months. It's always great when we are together, he texts me daily, cares for me and we do stuffs together. I often come over to his house, sometimes even stay there for the whole weekend. However, when there is vacation (we are both in college) and we have to spend time apart in different countries, he suddenly becomes distant. Last Christmas, he would go days without initiating texts and takes hours to respond. When we came back, things became normal again. Now, when summer vacation starts, this happens again, but even more intense as yesterday he would not respond to my text for 14 hours. I know he has work, but fact is that he is still online on Facebook most of the time, and even texting other people (we are in the same circle, and he is a really close friend with a girl who I know he stills texts her as usual, same as another friend). I am wondering if this is a normal behaviour, or that he is losing interests? If they act distant it's because they are involved elsewhere with someone else. If ypu like this because you are doing the same, then hey, it's all good. If not move on to another love. There are more out there in them there woods.
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