ttriplett Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 So we were together for nearly 5 years, the last 18 months have been very trying financially, which I take full responsibility for. I have had a nightmare health wise and 13 cervical and spine surgeries. I left CA for what was intended to be 3 weeks for a book gig in Thailand, but 6 hours after landing I broke my leg, collarbone, 3 ribs, meniscus, ACL and a Partridge and a Pear tree... After the 3 weeks I was put on a medical no fly restriction and was stuck in Thailand for nearly 3 months. So, a few days ago I did what any idiot who was losing their mind and going further broke in a foreign country would do and cut the cast off my leg, took a taxi to airport and basically bribed my way onto a flight home. At some point from leaving Thailand and landing 'home' in CA I received a 'Dear John" email... letting me know everything would be packed up and put in storage... which also meant I had no where to live and or sleep... 4 days now since Ive been ‘home’ while trying to organize knee surgery and several other Drs I have had minimal contact w her. I haven’t nor has she really tried to message relationship stuff our only contact was regarding her leaving a few things out back of apartment for me to pick up when she was clear. And a message from me asking if she would also leave half of my 23 pillows out so I could set them in the car for comfort. I wanted to and still want to not contact her, but physically without those pillows I wouldn’t have made it these 4 days. I can still barely walk but they halped a great deal. Only other contact was her organizing for her mother to drop off my ATM card at Coffee Bean. I get it, but I don’t get all of it…?? I also just received an email from her step father trying to organize a few things from me and asking me a number of questions because she can’t see me or needs time…etc I’m sure I will feel dumb as if I already know the answers but… Why couldn’t she just hand me the ATM card and throw a few pillows in my car as I drove down the alley way?? Why not email me and ask same thing as step father? Email breakup from away in foreign country...? I don’t even know what is in the apartment and getting packed up into storage really… I know also the relationship demise is on me, I was dying personally and allowed it to bleed our goofiness and joy. Ive got other question but don’t want to ask so much…
preraph Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 So I guess the absence and illness, putting you further into financial ruin, was when she realized an already bad situation had reached the point of no return. I don't know anything about your or hers prior income or even if she worked. I know in a financial crisis, both people should be working and if there's no kids, they should be working 2 jobs each. I don't know what a book gig is. Was that work? Normally, when one partner has a crisis, the other partner does all they can to carry the load, but it sounds like even before the wreck, the stress of finances had already eroded your union. Now you're in terrible physical shape and nowhere to live. How did you afford the flight home? Do you money for a place or not? I just can't quite make sense out of what you've said. You had money to travel to Thailand and back but yet you say your finances are in ruin. So if you have money, get a cheap small apartment you can get around in with your body messed up. You may have to go to a local doctor and try to get him to recommend home health. You have not said what country you live in. All this is pertinent if you want suggestions. I don't know whether CA is Canada or California. In the U.S. if you have had little or no income in the last 3 months, you can maybe qualify for some aid. If you're in Canada, don't they already have nationalized healthcare? So get some healthcare help at home or in a facility. Do you have family? Can you stay with family for awhile? you need to be in physical therapy or whatever to get yourself able to work again, obviously. Without any more info, that's all I can suggest. I'm puzzled about your finances.
preraph Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 PS, how did these accidents happen? Were you drinking or something? I'm just trying to really understand because it was all those surgeries and then another big accident and you didn't say how either happened?
mightycpa Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 Are you asking why, after she bailed on you at your lowest moment, she can't look you in the eye, even to give you pillows or an ATM card? Really? It's because she's made a very practical decision about her future, and she feels awful that she doesn't love or believe in you enough to think that it will all turn out alright in the end. She does not, however, feel awful enough that it will change her mind. It's pretty much that simple. In terms of intimacy, you've found her limit.
Author ttriplett Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 Thank you and sorry, typing on my phone w big boy thumbs isn't fun... nor is rereading apparently.. CA California- Los Angeles My travels were covered by the person I was writing for. Book Gig- just a writing job for a book I don't have anything left really financially I left my ATM W her to use while I was gone to pay bills and whatever she needed Which she emptied (told her to use it) a week before breakup and coming home... I don't really drink, maybe 2 drinks a year if that.., First accident was 12 years ago I was hit by drunk driver ( part of reason I don't drink maybe) This accident I fllopped a Scooter in Thailand after something wedged between the wheel and frame
d0nnivain Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Can you go to the person who paid you to write & ask for a small loan? Can you rely on friends or family for a week or two? If you are that injured can you apply for temporary disability benefits? It's a government program usually run through unemployment but it pays when you are sick or injured. You will need a doctor's note.
preraph Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Thank you and sorry, typing on my phone w big boy thumbs isn't fun... nor is rereading apparently.. CA California- Los Angeles My travels were covered by the person I was writing for. Book Gig- just a writing job for a book I don't have anything left really financially I left my ATM W her to use while I was gone to pay bills and whatever she needed Which she emptied (told her to use it) a week before breakup and coming home... I don't really drink, maybe 2 drinks a year if that.., First accident was 12 years ago I was hit by drunk driver ( part of reason I don't drink maybe) This accident I fllopped a Scooter in Thailand after something wedged between the wheel and frame Thanks for the clarifications. You won't believe this, but I was actually riding motorcycle escort with a motorcade once when a hubcap came off a limo and wedged between the wheel and frame, just like what happened to you. He was okay, but it threw him quite a ways. He was an amateur wrestler or boxer or something so he recovered okay. I'm female, by the way. You're in the US. You have intermittent income. Now, when my sister had an extended hospital stay, they sent in a social worker to help her get set up on whatever aid was available, early Social Security, some food stamps. Trump is about to erode these benefits, but they're in place at least until 2018 I believe, so get it done. It can take a few weeks. You should qualify for Medicaid at this point with very little income and check with the county hospital. California is probably the best place to be for this type aid. County hospitals will qualify you for free or low cost medical care. Talk to a doctor there and see if he can get you in some medical rehab facility if you need some taking care of. Go home to family if you can instead. But your income has been low, so you qualify for some things, although as you may know welfare is unfairly only available to people who've had kids they couldn't afford. If you have an old high school or college friend you would do the same for, call them and see if they can help you for a while. I think you should be able, with a doctor's recommendation, to get into a care facility until your health improves enough to take care of yourself better. Be sure and TELL them you have just become homeless but that you were working before but had two accidents back to back. You haven't mentioned your parents, but please tell us why not. This would be the logical place to go unless you're estranged for some reason. Most mothers will always want to care for their children. If not them, then an aunt or grandparent or old friend. 1
Author ttriplett Posted June 1, 2017 Author Posted June 1, 2017 All of my family is back east in NY NJ....
Author ttriplett Posted June 2, 2017 Author Posted June 2, 2017 Ages I just turned 40 while away and she is 35
preraph Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 All of my family is back east in NY NJ.... So if you are employed in California enough to get a place to live, go get the cheapest place to live. If not, you have nothing to lose by calling your family and taking a bus back home where they can look after you. At least call them and see what the situation is there and tell them you are injured, etc. I feel you need someone to help you because of your health right now. Call your mom or dad.
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